Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Got a number off a cute chick at the mall.

K for those who know me in real life or Facebook (the line between them both is sadly blurring for me) , you would know that I been on this serious exercise regime since the beginning of the year. Yep I finally had to admit to myself that I could no longer call myself the Stallion when physique-wise I was looking more like "insert fat looking animal here".

Thankfully it has paid off , no small thanks to my shi-fu/torturer who shall remain nameless due to his aversion to any sort of online social communication. The guy doesn't even have a Facebook account so you know I am not exaggerating.

But I digress. This post is about me and this really cute chick that I met last week. So I was at Coffee Bean @ Downtown East, sipping my black coffee (cos it has less calories), waiting for a friend when I noticed this really cute girl sitting in at the corner of the cafe glancing at me.

She was quite a sweet looking thing, maybe mid 20s. I of course played it ultra cool, pretending not to notice; continuing to sip my coffee while giving this really contemplative "what does life mean" look.

Well maybe it was just a passing glance from her, I wasn't sure, and I couldn't play my hand immediately could I? But it was not, she kept glancing at me and then looking away when I innocently contemplated in her direction.

Yep the game was on. I nonchalantly rolled up my sleeves, exposing the well-defined biceps painfully sculpted from hours and hours of dumbbell curls and push-ups. Then I looked at her and smiled. A smile that said "Yep lady I noticed you noticing me."

She smiled back, and the next thing I knew she got up and started walking towards me. K a little more forward than I am used to , but I am kind of digging it. Also my legs were sore from a run earlier so I didn't really wanna get up myself. I pushed the chair opposite me with my stronger leg, an invitation for her to join me at my table.

"Hi I am Alice. Just wondering if you could spare a minute to do this quick survey?"

Sigh, I would have preferred to be done with these role-playing games and just go straight to the nearest Hotel 81. But fine Alice, I will do the whole song and dance if that is what it takes to close the deal. With you.

"Sure I would love to. I love surveys, they are so hot".

"Uhmm yeah...ok."

She takes out a pen and this survey form. K a bit serious on the role-playing but I can roll with that.

First question - "What are your interests?"

I wanted to reply "Right now, you." but I decided that I don't want to come out of the gates all roaring and drenched in testosterone so I picked the options "music" and "travel".

Second question - "What is your biggest concern in life right now"

(Well Alice I am just concerned about how long I could pleasure you [3 mins?] before you start begging me to stop after we are done with this stupid survey). I circled "Career".

Third question - "If you died tomorrow, do you think you would go to heaven?"

Well hmm let me see...wait a minute, WTF, what kind of question is that?? I glanced at the 4th question. It was about how I would convince God I deserve to enter heaven. 5th and 6th were also God-related. I did not bother to see the rest.

KNN. Realization dawned on me. She was a Jesus freak. But it was too late , I was too far entangled in the web of her holy spinnerets.

Spent the next 15 minutes trying to extricate myself by saying I was agnostic and not religious at all. It didn't help. She continued on and the survey then snowballed into her reciting a parable (something about an emperor whose mom was gonna get whipped for stealing and he covered her to save her)and how God was like the emperor in that he was merciful yet would mete out justice. I wasn't really listening , I just drowned myself in those big beautiful eyes of hers.

Finally she stopped. And then she asked me if I wanted to accept this gift of heaven that God wanted to bestow on us. I said NO. She seemed a bit saddened but then asked me if I could at least take the booklet she was holding, so I did. She then wrote her number on the back and said I could call her if I ever changed my mind.

So that was that. I am now contemplating calling her and maybe asking her out for a cup of coffee. She was really cute after all. I swear there was some tension between us before she went all God-dy. I owe it to myself to give her another chance right?