I will be off to Sydney for work next week, and I will miss a friend's event, one that I promised to attend. She is getting her first tattoo, and who else would she want there to be with her than the Stallion himself and the comfort of his manly yet soothing hands to guide her through the ordeal.
I was going to try to get a flight back on Friday night so I wouldn't miss it, but then I realised I would rather spend Friday evening in Sydney than on a plane. So I didn't. I tried asking her if she could have it done at the airport (does the airport have tattoo parlors? if not they should! ) but her only response was one of uncontrollable shrieking. The poor girl, she just cannot imagine me not being there in her time of need.
Jas, I am so so sorry I can't be there. But seriously, you don't need a tattoo, why mess with perfection? Your body is like the Taj Mahal (or the Chinese equivalent - The Great Wall of China), do not defile that beautiful temple with needless ink graffiti. I will admit I have had thoughts of defiling it myself, especially when we first met, but I was a young horny boy then, not the matured respectable gentleman you see now. So heed my plea and get a nipple piercing instead. They are way sexier.
But I know my plea is in vain, so as a final attempt, I will leave you with a poem.
My darling Jas , off to get her first tattoo
This Saturday at some seedy place, I disapprove but nothing I can do
I will be in Sydney,
She will be screaming in pain , thank god I can't hear that far.
But it sounds sexy, a little black swan on her hip
I have one myself, but it's no tattoo, here's a tip:
It's 4 letters and it ends with ick.
Anyway I should be back the night you are done, so here's what I am proposing
Let's get your swan and mine together and see how they get along, you know what I am saying?