Tuesday, February 08, 2011

Attack of the Giant Sea Bird of Fremantle

You would think from the title that this was some lame ass fantasy or dream that I had but you would be wrong. This actually happened to me in Perth last week.

I was with 3 friends at Kailis's along Fremantle (great fish and chips by the way) when they decided to go for a smoke. As the only non-smoker (I quit after a trip in Thailand), I decided to stay and guard the food as they puffed their lives away. Immediately a flock of sea birds (i don't know if they were gulls) sensed my vulnerability after being left alone, and immediately attacked the food. I swatted at them continuously , sustaining some injuries myself on my arm, but I managed to stave the hungry birds off.

Then suddenly, a huge shadow enveloped our table. As I looked up, all I could see was this huge shape hovering above me. And then that shape took a seat beside me. It was the biggest bird I ever saw , the seat barely contained its weight. It stared at me for what felt like eternity, its unblinking eyes full of hate and evil. I didn't have many options, so I just sat still and stared back at it. And then it opened its mouth, revealing fangs. Yes the damn bird had freaking fangs!!

I didn't know what to do. The bird started to inch closer towards me. My life literally flashed in front of my eyes. It was almost beside me now, I could feel its hot fangy seagull breath in my ear. I closed my eyes, this was it.

And just like that it was gone. I opened my eyes and saw my friends coming over. I guess it must have seen them and got scared or something. Or maybe it only kills when no one is around. I do not know. I told my friends what happened, they just laughed.

And that is the story of my experience with the giant sea bird of fremantle. If you have had similar encounters, let me know. I need to know that what I saw was real, that I wasn't imagining it at all.