Sunday, June 28, 2009

How Transformers 2 was created (Spoilers ahead)

Starring: Michael Bay (MB), Scriptwriter 1 (SW1), Scriptwriter 2 (SW2)

MB: Alright guys Transformers make us a shitload of money. I wanna get the sequel out asap so that we can make a bigger shitload of money. Ideas! Now!

SW1: How about a plot where there is this all powerful cube that will destroy the earth if it falls into the hands of the decepticons, and it's up to the autobots to stop them?

MB: That was the plot of Transformers 1...

SW2: How about if we change the doomsday device from a cube to a pyramid?

MB: Are you insulting our audience's intelligence ? Do you think they are so stupid they won't realize it's the same movie?

SW1: Ok ok wait...How about we put the device INTO a pyramid?

MB: Great , now you are thinking! What else?

SW2: We will add a bigger badder Decepticon as well?

MB: Yes yes! Now we got ourselves a movie. K and of course with the increased budget I am gonna have triple the explosions. Damn if only they gave out oscars for most explosions in a movie!

SW1: Yeah they should. You would so win it. Or the least they could do is give you a kickass nickname , like Michael "Exploder" Bay.

MB: K enough ass kissing. How about humor? I wanna show those critics that I can tackle other genres as well. Give me some ideas.

SW1: How about if we make the robots fart?

MB: Oh god that's hilarious! More more..

SW2: Robot testicles.

MB: Ha yes yes. Cos robots don't usually have testicles!! So it's funny if you see one on screen!! Jesus you guys are amazing! Keep it coming!!

SW1: Errmmmm ....How about getting some of the robots to speak like black people. Cos you know , black lingo is always funny. Especially if you have robots speaking it.

SW2: Yea and let's add an old robot with a metal beard and a walking cane. Cos then it's like saying they age like us , that's funny too!

SW1: And let's have a mini robot humping Megan's leg. Oh god yes, this will be the role she will be remembered for 5 years from now.

MB: Superb! K last thing , I want more hot girls. I think that was lacking in the first movie.

SW1: Oh oh let's get Shia to enroll in a dorm where all the students are models! And then get one of those model students to be actually a robot in disguise to seduce him so that ...err.. we will figure that out later.

MB: Alright Guys, I think we got another hit on our hands. And I already got the idea for Transformers 3.