Monday, March 24, 2008

Black Magic Man

Post from 3 weeks ago. Stuck on draft till today. It's about the rumor going around that Selamat used black magic to escape.

Of course black magic is involved. Everyone knows that Islamic extremists have black magic powers that allow them to escape the evil clutches of infidels. And only they have those kind of powers. When was the last time you heard of a Chinese or Indian guy using black magic?


In the interest of science I did some research on how black magic could have been used in the escape and here are the most plausible theories I came up with or found. Apparently black magic:

1. Allows you to change to a fish when near water. This is the most likely way that he escaped. Basically he stood on top of the toilet bowl, pulled the flush, transformed into a fish and escaped via the sewage pipes. If the authorities were smart, they would be searching the reservoirs for a fish that swims with a limp.

2. Can be used to create vague physical breaches in detention centers. Oh there is also the added effect of making the breaches so vague that it's incredibly hard to explain during press conferences.

3. Cause mass hypnosis of everyone in the prison. However I think this is highly unlikely because he wouldn't need to have waited till he got into the toilet.

Wonder how they gonna stop future JI detainees from using black magic to escape. Probably have to install those airplane type toilets that uses suction instead of water. And also cover the inside of sewage pipes with spikes to kill any one or fish who tries to escape through them.

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Now playing: Protest the Hero - Limb From Limb

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