Wednesday, November 21, 2007

I found my calling

You know I always felt that my wealth of knowledge and experience in life could greatly benefit a lot of people. And it would have probably have done so by now, if not for the fact people usually either rudely shut me up or completely ignore me when I try to impart my wisdom to them. Until now. Until the birth of ...yes you guessed it...Facebook!

Yes, I been helping people in the Facebook's Singapore network with their problems. Everyday people post their queries, problems and issues in the forum on the network page, and I try my best to help them. Issues ranging from how to deal with a break-up to queries about life. Here was my answer to a very philosophical question about life yesterday:

Question: What is a bigger fear? Knowing or not knowing?

My Answer:

Knowing that you don't know.

[Cos' what] if someone knows something about you , and you know that he knows something about you, but you don't know what he knows, but you know what he knows could be something really important to you . So you know that you don't know which sucks cos it's really something you wanna know but you don't know, so my point is you would be better off either not knowing that you don't know what he knows, or knowing what he knows.


So for any of you who need my sagely advice , feel free to post there or even here, I will be more than glad to help, cos that's the kind of guy I am.

On a related note, I am still Tetris king.

Funny Quotes about sex from celebrities

Some really good ones here. My favorites from the list:

"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."

"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships."

Click the link to find out which celebs said the above as well as read other quotes.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Stardust and Iris

I went to watch Stardust yesterday. It's really good, most romantic movie I have seen in a while. In fact it was so romantic that it made me lean over to kiss my friend after Claire Danes explains the meaning of love to a rodent, but thankfully I remembered in time that my friend has a girlfriend as well so it wouldn't have been appropriate. Oh and also because he's a guy. But yeah it's a great date movie so you should definitely go with someone special. And single.

Thanks to the same guy friend, I discovered a new way of picking up chicks. We were at the bus-stop after the movie and I was wondering whether the bus would take a while in which case we should go just take the train. Then he mentioned that we should check IRIS, the SBS GPS system that tells you exactly when your bus will arrive. They have a mobile site where you just enter the bus-stop number and the bus service you are waiting for, and it gives you the estimated arrival time. It was a really cool feature but I then realised it could be a powerful chick pick-up tool as well.

Just imagine this scenario - I'm walking past a bus stop and I see this attractive girl at the bus-stop. I saunter up to her.

Me: Hey babe , you look like you could you use some help. How about I lend you some assistance?
Her: Errm no I'm fine thanks. Please leave me alone.
Me: Hold on a minute there cowgirl. You do need help, but you just don't know it! I meant I can find out exactly what time your bus is gonna be arriving at this bus stop. Just by using my phone. And an available 3G network of course.
Her: Wow that's amazing, Is that really possible? It seems so magical!! Show me stallion, show me quickly I beg you, I'm actually getting kinda turned on right now cos I'm so excited in seeing this feature!
Me: Sure thing lady! (Whipping out my phone)...Oh I just need one thing to do that though, your phone number.
Her: Why do you need my phone number when you are using your phone?
Me: So that I can call you wherever you are and update you on the latest bus schedules of course.
Her: Oh of course, you smooth talker you, here let me give it to you!

It's quite brilliant yet so simple isn't it. I had so many bad experiences in the past picking up women at bus-stops that I stopped doing it, apparently for some reason women find it creepy to get picked up at places like that despite my brilliant pick up lines like "Hi, could you tell me the bus that will give me access to your heart?". But now thanks to IRIS, the creepiness factor is removed.

I wanted to try it out yesterday itself but my friend threatened to pretend he didn't know me if I did. Jealousy is an ugly thing isn't it, I mean it's not my fault that his phone isn't 3G capable. The Stallion is back in the game chicas!

Thursday, November 15, 2007

How NOT to approach a girl on Friendster…

Some tips and examples by the very beautiful Aarthi on how not to message girls on Friendster or any similar social networking sites.

Excerpt:

Case #4: Don’t confuse.
From:

*****
Date: Sunday, 1 April, 2007 1:02 PM
Subject: hello
Message: had to say hello that is one crazy profile i dont think i ever read one like it, so i had to reply i dont ever boast about if i’m handsome or for that matter ugly, beauty is in the eye of the beholder so it really doesnt matter what i think i am and ur not antisocial unless of course there r some dead bodies lieing around ur room yes ur narcissitic but u have to be a little which is generally called confidence and u take confidence add a little sarcasim and wallah u got u the bottom line is i kept reading


So lame right these guys. This would have been my approach:

Aarthi you are so so beautiful
I don’t need to give you my heart, for it is already under your rule
Your name is like a song stuck in my head - Aarthi Aarthi…
So will you make me happy and be my little chappati?

Aarth's Post