Monday, September 17, 2007

Don't let ugly women into the clubs damnit

Disclaimer: K another horribly outdated post, but hey I been busy alright. I am recalling the incident from memory, so some of the details might be slightly off the mark.

There was a big uproar a couple of months ago when a local club told an elderly mature club goer that she had to pay cover even though it was ladies' night. She wrote to the papers about her treatment and this caused a miWhen asked by a reporter why the unusual condition, a representative of the club explained that the intention of ladies' night was to attract young (attractive?) women to the club, and so the waiver of the cover charge only applies to women below a certain age (I think it was 35 but I can't remember)

His comments caused quite a stir with many criticising the club for being insensitive and adopting a chauvinistic attitude. Me I don't see what the big deal is, in fact I stand by the guy. When I go to a club I don't wanna see people who look like my mom or my dead grandma (God bless her soul) there, that's just gonna spoil my mood to party. I don't wanna be grinding against some chick's ass on a crowded dance floor and then the minute she turns around I find out it's my aunt.

I think the no cover benefit should also NOT be extended to other women who don't fit the "young and attractive" description, after all that IS the whole point of ladies' night. But I will admit, it was a bit insensitive for the bouncer to tell the mature lady that she had to pay cover in front of the other clubbers, that was probably a pretty embarassing experience for her. So my solution to the problem is to put up a signboard outside the club that says something like this:

Ladies Night:
No cover charge for ladies below 35. This benefit does not apply to women who are visibly mentally or physically disabled, who have visible burn marks or scars, who weigh more than 70 kg, have extremely bad acne or have a visible hump or limp. Oh, and if more than 3 people in your life have called you fugly in the last 6 months, then you probably have to pay cover as well.

Yes it makes perfect sense, I think it would be kinda hard to hook up with someone in a club if she was in a wheelchair or looks like Quasimodo's long lost twin sister. At least with a signboard like this, women who don't fit the bill save themselves the humiliation of getting rejected face to face, they can just head back home as soon as they see the sign. Not to mention saving on the queuing time.

The beautiful people, the beautiful people
It's all relative to the size of the steeple.

-Marilyn Manson


  1. Bert - like dat ah... I will be paying cover everywhere soon lei! U horrible boy, you!

    Just for that - you have to buy my apple martini tomorrow! hmph!

  2. Yeah, I'd be paying cover, too. That's pretty harsh.

    I can see maybe if the chick is extremely "butch" looking, to the point that you can't tell if it's really a girl or not. Yeah, I can see charging the butch chicks cover. But just 'cause you don't want a fat chick or a handicapped one or whatever doesn't mean that someone, um, less gifted than yourself in the manliness department might be very happy with an old wrinkly (experienced) woman. Ya gotta give due credit to experience, you know...

  3. Wah lao! Then I won't be able to enjoy the benefits of ladies night either. T_T


  4. Hey I didn't make the rules, I just repeat them! You know what they say, don't shoot the messenger.

  5. You're one mean work of (grotesque) art you know?

  6. Sorry - but haven't taken a good look at ALL of us who are over 45. Sorry, but some of us are fine as wine!