Monday, August 20, 2007

I got a nice ass crack Part 2

So I ended my last post with me sitting in a sexy hospital gown in the waiting area with everyone else fully clothed. Well that's what you get when you go to a government subsidized medical facility - you pay much less, but you give up your dignity. It's not that bad a trade actually; we are talking about a savings of a couple of hundred dollars.

As I waited patiently I noticed this old man a couple of chairs away from me who was blatantly ogling my legs. I got really pissed off. What am I? Some piece of meat for him to sink his dentures into? So I decided to mess around with him, I started crossing and uncrossing my legs really sexily ala Basic Instinct. It drove him crazy with lust, he started getting all fidgety and excited, I would bet my heterosexuality that he was wishing he was sitting opposite me.

Eventually I got tired of our little game and stopped, and I could see him staring angrily at me, knowing that he had been played. That's what you get for being an old perv you asshole, you probably have a son my age. But to be honest, it actually felt good having people steal glances at me, kinda made me feel sexy. Perhaps I'm a closet exhibitionist?

Anyway, after what seemed like an eternity, I was called into the X-ray room where I was handed over to this rather cute radiologist. She told me to strip down to my underpants and lie on the table, and so I did, despite the freezing temperature in the room. As she was preparing to take the X-ray I pointed out to her that my boxers had buttons, was unsure if I could have them on. She told me no, that I had to pull them off to my ankles for the X-ray, and so I did.

The next thing I heard was the clattering of something that was dropped onto the floor. Yes, apparently the radiologist dropped the clipboard when I pulled down my boxers. I smiled (knowing the reason for her shock) and turned to look at her, expecting to see her face flushed with embarrassment. Instead, I was greeted with a bemused smile. I looked down at my groin area and there was…..shrinkage. Like MAJOR shrinkage.

In my defense it was like -20 degrees Celsius in the damn room, things contract when it’s cold, and I estimate that we are talking about a contraction of at least 15 inches. And that is a very conservative estimate. And I been swimming a lot for the past few weeks before that, and you know the whole osmosis thingy, that probably contributed to the shocking reduction of Little Stallion.

I started to explain to her the reason for my condition, but she quickly dismissed me and told me to stay still. She then started to poke me right below my tummy for reasons unknown to me. Like hello that’s not where my butt is. If I didn’t know better I would have sworn that she was trying to turn me on, just to make sure I was a guy. Like I said, there was major shrinkage.

Eventually my ordeal thankfully ended, and the results were not good. I did have a fracture in my tailbone and a “displacement”, whatever that means. I have to go for a CT scan next week to see the extent of my butt trauma. Yippee.

9 comments:

  1. You must have enjoyed all that prodding very much.

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  2. as most women would have you know, it really isn't the nature of the tool, but the way the tool is handled that maketh all the difference. ;) so don't worry Stallion, you're still much loved and so it (not so) Little Stallion too, i'm sure.

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  3. Little stallion?

    More like My Little Pony!

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  4. hey I like my little ponies and i have them on my desk. stop besmirching their names..Erm stallion, seriously..it's just wrong to mess around with geriatrics. what little stallion, big stallion?
    You told me you got it chopped off in thailand last month to coincide with the hormone pills you are taking?

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  5. i thought it's supposed to rise to the occasion, esp when its cold?

    tsk tsk......

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  6. Aileen: Actually i preferred it when the doc prodded my butt at the polyclinic.

    Aarthi: YA ya thats what they all say, but then when you are getting it on , they point to it and snicker and ask "is that it?" !!

    Jaywalk: I am uncomfortable with discussing my penis's nickname with another guy, but thanks. ;)

    Eternal: Well I think old pple should stick to boys their own age. I lied, I didn't go through it.

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  7. one of your best silly blogs to date, dude.

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  8. When is "I got a nice ass crack Part 3" coming out? Can't wait!!

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  9. HAHAH zomg. little stallion. that's chronic funny shit man.

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