Sunday, May 27, 2007

Shakespeare in Love

Went to watch Midsummer Night's Dream yesterday at Fort Canning with W, his gf F and my date/friend N. The play was alright, but it might as well be in French or Italian because I could only understand like 1 out of every 20 sentences that was spoken, it was in Shakespearian(Old English?) language. The open air, out on the field concept was nice, but I think a more modern retelling of the play would have been better, considering most of the people there probably haven't read the play in its original form.

Anyway there we were, on our 7 dollar Carrefour mat that I just bought earlier, (there was a much bigger one selling for 20 dollars but I felt it wasn't worth the money) on the green field watching the play when N started having back pains. It was probably from having to curl her body unnaturally due to the small size of the mat as well as me taking up 4/5 of the available mat space. I felt really sorry for her so I came up with a rather ingenious suggestion: she could sit in front of me and lie back, using my ample chest as a back support. Of course she doing that would have put quite a bit of stress on my back, but that's just the kind of guy I am, I think of relieving the pain of others before my own.

Surprisingly she declined despite my repeated offers. I then tried to grab her arm and steer her in front of me in between my outstretched legs (it is less crass than it sounds) but she threatened to scream if I didn't let go, so I did. She then started mumbling a few words which I really couldn't catch (something that sounded like "bloody perv" but obviously not that) and left for the toilet right in the middle of the play which I thought wasn't too cool.

So anyway things went downhill after that. Oh there was this really attractive teacher there that evening who was bringing her kids along for the play. Yes I do have a thing for teachers, it's just very admirable the way they inspire their kids. The way they instill discipline and act as the moral compass for the youth they teach. And also the way they punish boys when they been bad, like really bad. Cos I am sometimes really bad, and I need to be punished. With a cane. And ruler. And spanked as well. Anyway, those are the same reasons why I have a thing for female cops as well. And female doctors. And female clowns. K female clowns are for a different reason.

Ended up at Timbre, a really nice open air pub at the base of Fort Canning with a pretty decent live band. I wanted to request for My Humps by Black Eyed Peas and dedicate it to N, to make up for the earlier fracas, but she told me she would leave if I did. Women. I still don't get them.


  1. Yeah Female Teachers, every young boys dream! That's why I married one....Eat your heart out guys! BTW..."My Humps" gotta be should have requested "The Thrill is Gone" (B. B. King) but then again maybe before your time.

  2. LOL!!!!

    Dude. your post made me laugh man!!

  3. most of the people there wouldn't have read the play?

    most basically means, the indian stallion hasn't read the play and everyone else should hear the modern retelling instead.

    tsk. i need to pass you some of my shakespeare.

  4. every time I come back here, you crack me up! I'm sure instead of 'bloody perv' she said 'i think I'm in lurve' or something like that. ;)