Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Saturday Night Fever

Yes it was an interesting Saturday night, and there was a bad case of Stallion fever going around (don't ask me what that means). I was at a friend's birthday party and we ended up playing truth or dare.

First had to do a half striptease for one of the girls, it was not a pretty sight. I could see the girl closing her eyes and mouthing the words "Lord please save me from this hell" over and over again as I gyrated and exposed my hairy chest and sexy soft belly to her. While slapping my butt with my other hand.

For the finale, I was going to grind myself into her as an added treat but then one of the other girls stood up and screamed "Enough!! Leave her alone!!". Sigh jealousy can be an ugly thing to see.

The 2nd dare was to kiss a girl for 10 seconds, and by coincidence it was the same girl. The dare involved tongue, so I reluctantly tried to force my tongue down her throat, but her lips were pretty much shut so I couldn't really do it. I didn't really understand her reluctance, I mean the only reason I was doing it was in the spirit of the game so I thought she would at it that way as well.

After the brief moment of passion, she protested that there was no mention of tongue in the dare, and to my surprise the others concurred with her and looked at me with disgust. Alright so I probably heard it wrongly, excuse me for making an honest mistake! People can be so judgmental sometimes. The other girls flatly refused to kiss me for the rest of the night.

Finally the 3rd dare was for another guy in the group to kiss another dude. There were four guys in all, and he tried asking the other two first but they flatly refused. I was the last choice, and for some reason I felt a little upset at that. I mean it's not like the other two guys were better looking than me!

Anyway (again in the spirit of the game) I agreed.
It was just a quick peck on the lips; it wasn't as bad as I thought. Hmm it was actually better than the kiss with the girl. was disgusting and sucked like crazy, I hated it of course.

One incident that night did upset me. It was my friend's turn to kiss a guy. She was sitting right beside me, so I figured she would kiss me since I was the nearest to her and pursed my lips in anticipation. But then she turned towards me, gave me this venomous look of disgust, and then went over to the opposite side of the circle to kiss this other guy.

When she came back, I looked at her sadly and whispered "Eh tu, Brutus?". She also exceeded the allocated 10 seconds but no one protested against that, me I stick a tongue by mistake and they are ready to crucify me. I get no respect I tell ya. I sent her an email the next day at work, to let her know how upset I was. Here it is:

Here's a poem for you

Risking my job, but i guess this proves my love is true

The truth is I'm a bit upset

As hard as I try, I just cannot forget

That you walked all the way to the other side to kiss Rob

Why didn't she kiss me, that was my lingering thought

Sigh didn't you see me looking at you in anticipation?

Or was I not obvious enough for your consideration?

Anyway it's over and done with

But next time there's truth or dare, a kiss for me I hope you give

2 comments:

  1. Bertie babe,me thinks you need to remake your personal branding. Or these girls don't know what they are missing!

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  2. ha ha ha Bert!

    I shall wisely refrain from making any comments about your techniques, since I have not been lucky enough to experience them firsthand. ;)

    But I liked that little poem in the end! *wipes tear from eye*

    The quote about the 'unhappy bubble of anal wind' is from the incomparable [stephen]Fry and [hugh] Laurie show.

    I've put the full poem here:

    http://realmofdiv.blogspot.com/2007/02/bit-of-fry-and-laurie-poetry-prize.html

    Its quite wicked, and it might have you laughing in a completely inappropriate way.

    I'd strongly advise you agains drinking anything while reading the poem. You might snort something up your nose. Very painful. I speak from experience.

    deviousDiv

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