Went to a childhood friend's wedding reception on Sunday with my mom, my sis and her family. It's a friend whom I known since I was 6 so it was pretty amazing and a bit emotional to see her get married. When almost all your friends are getting hitched, that's when you know you are getting old.
Anyway we were there right on time (unusually early by Indian standards) and I suggested the table closest to the entrance doors so that my mom didn't need to walk too far when it was time to leave. Mom didn't want to sit there because a lot of people were walking past the table (since it was near the entrance) but I insisted rather strongly till she had no choice but to relent. But not before she insinuated that the only reason I chose that table was to ogle at the chicks who will be coming through the doors.
Sometimes I don't know why I even bother. You try so hard to be filial, but when even your own mom accuses you of being a leering perv you gotta ask yourself why you even bother. She really hurt me with that remark, but I tried not to let it show as I gently nudged her away from my seat which was facing the entrance.
So as we were having our appetizers, Mom started to make conversation with me but realised I wasn't really listening. Yes I was staring at the doors, but only to look out for my sister who would be coming soon, so that she would know where we are. But again she accused me of leering at these two lovely women who were standing by the door and inviting the guests. My patience was wearing thin as you would expect but I decided that she was old so I gave her a break and forced myself to listen to her conversation which revolved around my nieces. I had to stop myself from yawning a couple of times.
Then rather abruptly during our conversation, Mom asked me something rather strange.
Mom: Which girl here do you fancy?
Me: Err why? What you gonna do?
Mom: Just tell me, maybe I can arrange something. You aren't getting younger you know.
Me: K let me get this straight. All I need to do is choose a girl and you will what? Wait let me guess, you will go up to her and tell her "hey it's your lucky day! Do you see that handsome boy there giggling and waving at you? That's my son and out of all the girls at this reception he picked you to be his wife. So where's your parents, let me talk to them and make your greatest dream come true!" ?
Mom : Don't be flippant. I am just gonna get your father to find out who her parents are and then we can talk to them and see what happens.
Me : Oh that's all? To think I was actually worried of being embarrassed, silly me.
Needless to say, I did NOT pick anyone, and I tried not to stare at any girl there for more than 5 seconds less she thinks I am interested in that particular girl. So I was forced spent the rest of the wedding alternating between looking at the floor and staring at young children.
So yeah that's my mom for you. Makes your mom seem like the coolest gal ever doesn't she.