Friday, April 20, 2007

Women are not like sunshine

I hate women.

Yes this is a rant about women. I keep giving my heart to the wrong ones, the ones who throw it back in my face while laughing at me for being such a trusting clown.

Remember my couple seat post? The one where I talked about the girl who made me weep by screaming in my ear that we would never be a couple. If you read the comments for that post, you will notice this particular girl (we shall refer to her as S) who told me that she would sit in a couple seat with me the next time we go for the movie.

Fast forward to the present day, April the 20th, 2007. The movie? Sunshine. The movie-goers? Me and S. I was gonna book the tickets so I called her to tell her that I was going to book the couple seats. Her reaction? She laughed. More like guffawed.

I'm sorry but am I the only one who didn't get the joke? What was the punchline because I certainly had no idea , even though the "joke" was supposedly by me. K alright there is another guy friend joining us for the movie, but a promise is a promise isn't it? Especially if it was something that someone said in public.

The movie is called Sunshine. Talk about irony, I really need some in my life right now.

UPDATE (21/04/2007): Loved the movie, although S hated it because she thought it was too depressing. Me, I loved it because of the philosophical issues it addressed, like whether the lives of people are expendable for the sake of the greater good and mankind using science to play "God".

Each of the characters reacted differently when they had to make really tough decisions - some were decisive, others were ruled by their emotions and ignored the logic, while some cracked under the pressure. If you are into sci-fi AND horror movies, you are in for a treat. You can read the synopsis here.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

How to piss off a Japanese girl

How do you repay someone who was super nice to you while you are visiting in a foreign country? Well for one, you SHOULDN'T piss them off by being crude and hitting on her.

K the problem with the stallion (other than referring to himself in the third animal) is that sometimes he says stupid things. I'm referring to something I did in Tokyo. Our Japanese host (whom we shall call Y) drove three hours so that we could see Mount Fuji, after which she brought us to this lovely eatery for tea-break.

As we were having our "macha" and green tea we noticed this rather interesting contraception contraption on our table, it was like a mini roulette wheel. Y explained to us that it's a fortune telling machine, basically you put in a coin and it spits out a piece of paper with your fortune in Japanese. We decided to go for it , and she read the fortunes of my two companions first. The paper described their fortunes in different aspects of their lives like love, finance, and friendship. They got pretty much positive news.

Then it was my turn. The ball spinned wildly was I put the coin in, and then a piece of paper spat out. Y read the paper for a long time. I inquired excitedly about what my fortune was in terms of my love life, which up to then has been pretty much non-existent. She looked at me with sadness in her eyes, the kind of look you give to a puppy that needs to be put down.

Me: So tell me what does it say about my love life?
Her: Actually the section on your love life is practically non-existent. But the good news is that your finances are in good shape. As long as you don't overspend.
Me: Wow thanks. But come on there must be something on my love life! Anything!
Her: Well there is something, but it's not really significant.
Me: It's ok just tell me.
Her: Well it says that You like to don't know how to translate it to English sorry.
Me: Is it "Do women"?

The look she gave me was one of complete disgust. I was just trying to help her, but instead ended up pissing her off. It could be a cultural thing, maybe saying you like to "do women" isn't widely accepted there?

On the drive back from Mount Fuji, I tried to make small talk to diffuse the tense situation, asked her about the kind of guy she likes but she completely ignored me.

What do you know, that piece of paper pretty much got it right.

White and Nerdy

Yo check it out, really funny song by MC Yankovic, rapping to the tune of Ridin' by Chamillionaire. It's dope I tell ya, check out a sample of the lyrics. Word.

There's no killer app I haven't run
At Pascal, well I'm number one
Do vector calculus just for fun
I ain't got a gat, but I got a soldering gun
Happy Days is my favorite theme song
I could sure kick your butt in a game of ping pong
I'll ace any trivia quiz you bring on
I'm fluent in JavaScript as well as Klingon

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Would you recognise something of great beauty if it's somewhere you don't expect?

The answer from most of you to the above question would be "Of Course". Beauty is beauty, regardless of where it is right? Well that was my answer too. My point to asking this is because it was the question posed by this journalist. In his Washington Post article, he talks about how he went about trying to find out the answer to that question.

His idea was really very simple (but ultimately very revealing) - to get a world class violinist to pose as a busker and play in a subway station in New York for around 45 minutes. Would people stop to listen to him considering the quality of his very emotive music (there is a video in the article of him playing)? Or would they just ignore him and hurry on to wherever they were heading to? Bear in mind, this is a guy whose concerts often sell out tickets priced upwards of a 100 dollars. To find out the answer, read the article here.

The article reminded me of the movie American Beauty, namely this one scene where the creepy dude who goes around filming everyone explains to his girlfriend why he does what he does. I actually blogged about it way back in 2003, during what I would like to call my "emo years", can read it if you want.

So after reading the article, is your answer still the same? Mine definitely wasn't. But I would love to see the experiment repeated in a place where the pace of life isn't as fast. Would the results be different?

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

I say and do stupid things when I am wasted

Went for a birthday party at Sentosa for a close friend last Thursday, and drank way more than I should. It's hard being an Indian sometimes you know, everyone has this expectation of you - namely you have to out-drink everyone else and then proceed to beat up women (or at least curse at them).

Anyway like I said, I had a little too much to drink, and apparently I said and did some stupid things. I remember vaguely preaching to a girl there about my knowledge of metal bands and the genre in great detail. I mean which girl wouldn't want to hear about such a lively topic at a party right? And I think I went on for quite a while as well. Yup they don't call me Indian Romeo for nothing. Probably made her night.

Ended the night at km8 (beach pub) by singing along with the birthday girl various songs from Muse, mainly taken from the Absolution album because that is their best. At 3 am in the morning. There was a whole group of us who were there, and apparently our vocal harmonies were not very appreciated as much as I thought they were by the others in the group. I think one of them thought it was two cats trying to kill each other.

Of course the worse part was that I puked. Yes, I did go away a fair distance from the group before I did so they wouldn't know, but still it sucked. Damn my one quarter Chinese blood, it wouldn't have happened if I was all Indian. Yes, my grandma was Chinese. So my dear Su (who has known me for 4 years), you better not say I never told you before (even though I know I did). Or maybe you never really knew me like I thought you did.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Are couple seats only for couples?

I went for a mini movie marathon last Saturday with a girl friend, we decided to stay up all night and watch two movies in a row - The Namesake and Freedom Writers. I proceeded to buy the tickets for the Namesake and then we both entered the cinema.

As we took our seats I realized that I had picked couple seats, you know the pair of seats where you could actually raise the middle arm-rest and get all cosy. I was naturally excited as I never sat in a couple seat before, and I started to raise the arm-rest.

Her: What are you doing?
Me : Raising the hand rest, what do you think?
Her: Don't. (looks at me sternly)
Me : But it's a couple seat! You are supposed to raise the hand rest!
Her: I said no. I wanna rest my arm on the hand rest.

She then glared at me till I let go of the hand rest, she gave me this pretty scary look as if she would have tried to break my arm if I tried to raise it. Was kinda bummed about her reaction but I let it go. And you know what, she didn't even rest her arm on the arm-rest the entire movie. I don't understand women sometimes, they keep saying one thing and then doing another.

The movie was pretty good if a bit slow, it's about an Indian couple who move to the US and their struggles integrating with the American way of life, and also focuses on their American-born children (mainly the son) and how he struggles with his roots while growing up there. The title of the movie refers to the son's name which was given to him by his dad, he rejects it and gets it changed without realizing the
significance of it.

So that was the first movie. We then went to buy tickets for Freedom Writers, and I indicated to the cashier that I wanted the couple seats again, but then my friend interjected.

Her: Just get the normal seats.
Me : But we sat in the couple seats earlier, why not just choose the same seats again.
Her: I don't want the couple seats, just get the normal seats.
Me : But I don't understand ....why can't we just get ....

Yep, she practically screamed at me, and till now I still am not sure why. The cashier started snickering, and she didn't even tried to hide that fact from me. Humiliated, I silently selected two non-couple seats from the selection screen and paid for them. We went into the cinema again and sat down, not exchanging a single word or glance.

The seats felt very different, but not for the reason you might think. The immovable armrest between us was now more than just a physical barrier, it had become an emotional one as well. Directly behind us was the couple seats, occupied by a very snugly couple without any barriers between them. I would give you a review of the movie, but I was fighting back tears for almost four-fifths of it so I couldn't really concentrate on it.

As we left the cinema, I realized that there was still a barrier between my friend and I, one that probably would never be raised.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Mom tries to get me married Part XIIII

Went to a childhood friend's wedding reception on Sunday with my mom, my sis and her family. It's a friend whom I known since I was 6 so it was pretty amazing and a bit emotional to see her get married. When almost all your friends are getting hitched, that's when you know you are getting old.

Anyway we were there right on time (unusually early by Indian standards) and I suggested the table closest to the entrance doors so that my mom didn't need to walk too far when it was time to leave. Mom didn't want to sit there because a lot of people were walking past the table (since it was near the entrance) but I insisted rather strongly till she had no choice but to relent. But not before she insinuated that the only reason I chose that table was to ogle at the chicks who will be coming through the doors.

Sometimes I don't know why I even bother. You try so hard to be filial, but when even your own mom accuses you of being a leering perv you gotta ask yourself why you even bother. She really hurt me with that remark, but I tried not to let it show as I gently nudged her away from my seat which was facing the entrance.

So as we were having our appetizers, Mom started to make conversation with me but realised I wasn't really listening. Yes I was staring at the doors, but only to look out for my sister who would be coming soon, so that she would know where we are. But again she accused me of leering at these two lovely women who were standing by the door and inviting the guests. My patience was wearing thin as you would expect but I decided that she was old so I gave her a break and forced myself to listen to her conversation which revolved around my nieces. I had to stop myself from yawning a couple of times.

Then rather abruptly during our conversation, Mom asked me something rather strange.

Mom: Which girl here do you fancy?
Me: Err why? What you gonna do?
Mom: Just tell me, maybe I can arrange something. You aren't getting younger you know.
Me: K let me get this straight. All I need to do is choose a girl and you will what? Wait let me guess, you will go up to her and tell her "hey it's your lucky day! Do you see that handsome boy there giggling and waving at you? That's my son and out of all the girls at this reception he picked you to be his wife. So where's your parents, let me talk to them and make your greatest dream come true!" ?
Mom : Don't be flippant. I am just gonna get your father to find out who her parents are and then we can talk to them and see what happens.
Me : Oh that's all? To think I was actually worried of being embarrassed, silly me.

Needless to say, I did NOT pick anyone, and I tried not to stare at any girl there for more than 5 seconds less she thinks I am interested in that particular girl. So I was forced spent the rest of the wedding alternating between looking at the floor and staring at young children.

So yeah that's my mom for you. Makes your mom seem like the coolest gal ever doesn't she.

Top 6 Highlights from Tokyo

1. The FOOD!!!

OMG I am so in love with Japanese food now. Sushi, sashimi, tempura, yakitori, ebi mentai, eel etc. I love it so much that I requested for Japanese food in Shanghai (to the bemusement of my Chinese colleagues) and also went to Sushi Tei the day after I got back. Nothing tastes better to me right now than fat free meat with a healthy dose of wasabi. Damn just writing about it makes me crave it even more.

2. Karaoke

Yes I love it damnit. Japanese angel brought us to a karaoke joint and although I started off a bit shaky I got the hang of it and was belting out hits like Creep by Radiohead, Stockholm Syndrome by Muse, To Be with You by Mr Big and Cry Me A River by Justin Timberlake. K the last song was not a smart choice because I couldn't hit the high notes eventhough I really tried. It was not pretty. My choice of Hero by Mariah Carey was also met with an uncomfortable silence, but I think I won them over with my rather heartfelt rendition. Yes I used to be the biggest Mariah Carey fan. You got a problem with that?

3. My travel partner

Was a bit apprehensive about travelling with companions after some bad experiences in the past, but it ended up way way better than I even hoped. In our enforced proximity in Tokyo we gotta know each other much better and closer, which was a pleasant surprise. You were a lot of fun darling, and I really hope to do it again very soon! Oh yeah Tom you were pretty alright too.

4. The Japanese Angel

Our amazing host who I blogged about a while back, she is grace, beauty and pure goodness rolled into one. I am still amazed at what she did for us, without expecting anything in return. A rare person indeed.

5. Roller Coaster at Tokyo Dome

2nd time on it and just as scary! I wish I could go on it again and again, but the freaking queue is just too damn long, and at 10 bucks for a ride lasting less than a minute it's not cheap

6. Our last hotel

We slept on futon beds which I swear to god were the most comfortable beds I ever slept on. I knocked out almost immediately as soon as I lay on them.

Can't wait to go again and see all the things I missed the last time. The parks, temples and the kabuki theater.