Came up with this earlier. Disclaimer: It's a bit harsh so don't read if you are really into Valentine's Day.
This is a poem to explain
Why today is such a freaking pain
The gist of it is Valentine's Day bloody sucks
You disagree? So what, do I look like I give a f*ck?
Flowers, candy and chocolates
Guys throwing money away like it was dirt
Women wait expectantly to receive their gifts
Their eyes in greedy anticipation, not unlike thieves.
The florists jack up their prices right on cue.
Roses and lilies now sell for quadruple their value.
Wait, you got to have a nice romantic dinner as well
Choose from any restaurant, each with something 'unique' to sell.
You reach the restaurant with your date.
10 minutes early, it would be unromantic to be late.
You see couples all around you, all seated in very neat rows.
They lead you to a table right by the window.
So what happens at the end of the dinner?
She tells you, but is it what you want to hear?
If you are lucky, off to a cheap sleazy hotel for a 10 minute romp.
Otherwise you are another loser who got nothing for spending a bomb.
Alright I know so far it all sounds pretty ugly
But I'm not entirely serious, hope that you can see.
But my idea of the perfect V day is one spent in intimate privacy
Just us two snuggled up together on a couch, watching a romantic movie.