Was at Cafe Iguana with a friend yesterday; we were sharing a giant glass of margarita (I think it's called Macho Margarita). They have really good margaritas if you haven't tried them yet. So we were happily sipping away, but then my friend stopped drinking , she only had like 1/3 of it so far.
Me: Hey why you stopped drinking!?
Her: Nah I think I'm done for the night.
Me: Oh come on, drink some more. I am gonna order another one after this. If you get wasted I will send you back by cab. You don't need to worry, you know me, I'm like the perfect gentleman.
Next thing I heard was this loud guffawing from across the table. Yes she was laughing almost uncontrollably, as if I said something completely hilarious. I was a tad hurt to be honest. And then she finally stopped laughing. After like 5 minutes.
Her: Ha I'm sorry for laughing. I was just imagining us in the cab, me wasted and you with your hand down my shirt, with the excuse that you were just trying to keep my boobs from falling out. Yup you would be a perfect gentleman. SURE.
I swear to God, I am not even exaggerating that part, that's exactly what she said. Is this what women think of me? Seriously, does my face scream pervert or something? Can all the women out there who I been out with vouch for my complete gentlemanliness? Will you do that and give me back what little dignity and respect I can hold on to?