Thursday, January 25, 2007

Waiter sabotage

I was having dinner with a friend earlier at Cantina, this pretty cool Italian restaurant tucked away in a quiet corner near Sixth Avenue. Another girl friend had introduced me to the place last year, so I decided to go there again.

So we were there enjoying the dinner, when the waiter who served me the last time I went there came up to us.

Waiter: Hi guys, it's really nice to see ya both again so soon.
Me: (while trying not to choke on my food) Errm ..she's...I came with someone else that time.

Yup the waiter mistakenly thought my friend was the same one I came with few months back. After he left, my friend looked at me sternly and said I was really lucky that she was not my girlfriend, otherwise I would have been in deep trouble.

Note to myself: Don't bring a date to a place where you been with some other girl before. Damn waiters with good memories, I hate them.

Oh btw to my biggest fan, I know what you can do for me. I am gonna be all alone at home over the weekend, why don't you come over and my laundry and clean my room? I mean if you really are my biggest fan..

I was out with a friend
Had a great time, we were there till ten
Then the waiter came and spoiled the moment
And I screwed after that, felt like I was in quicksand.
But from the experience I have learned
Never ever bring a date
To a place you been recently with another girl
Unless u wanna tempt fate.

Monday, January 15, 2007

Master G

I was asking my friend for advice on an issue a couple hours back.

She: Alright, but don't blame me if it goes wrong.
Me: I would never blame you for anything, except for...
She: Except for what?
Me: Except for .....being too damn beautiful.

I henceforth declare myself Master G, the master of corny one-liners.

Yo check it, the name's Master G,
You really really don't wanna mess with me.
My words draw women to me
Yes, my lines are that fine,
So keep your women far away from me
Cos before you know it, they will be mine.

Friday, January 05, 2007

What's wrong with watching The Queen with another guy?

Sigh men, sometimes they frustrate the hell out of me. I been reading terrific reviews about the Queen (97% positive at, so I asked my guy friend J whether he wanted to go see it with me.

J: The Queen? No, I would rather not.
Me: Why not? It got fantastic reviews, I'm pretty sure it will be really good.
J: It's weird to watch a movie like that with another guy.
Me: Why? It's not like it's the Lake House, that would be weird. This is a intriguing drama about a woman who had to struggle with her grief caused by the sudden death of her daughter-in-law and still having to maintain a calm composed demeanor to the public. Would it kill you to watch one movie where no one dies from a gunshot wound? Must someone die a violent death in every movie we see to satisfy your blood lust?

Unfortunately my sermon failed to move him, and we ended up watching Blood Diamond, which was actually way better than I thought it would be. It's about the brutal exploitation of the people and resources of Sierra Leone by the diamond industry. If you liked Hotel Rwanda then this is something you should watch, although this movie is definitely more Hollywood-ish, the numerous against-all-odds escapes some of the characters went through just seemed rather unrealistic.

However, it is still a very moving picture, and the message it conveys is very real. DiCaprio has really transformed himself in this movie and The Departed, he's no longer the annoyingly cute guy he used to be. After it ended, I did wonder to myself just how many diamonds that is in the local market now are actually gained from such illegal and exploitative means. My guess would be a fair share.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

I don't get no respect

Was at Cafe Iguana with a friend yesterday; we were sharing a giant glass of margarita (I think it's called Macho Margarita). They have really good margaritas if you haven't tried them yet. So we were happily sipping away, but then my friend stopped drinking , she only had like 1/3 of it so far.

Me: Hey why you stopped drinking!?
Her: Nah I think I'm done for the night.
Me: Oh come on, drink some more. I am gonna order another one after this. If you get wasted I will send you back by cab. You don't need to worry, you know me, I'm like the perfect gentleman.

Next thing I heard was this loud guffawing from across the table. Yes she was laughing almost uncontrollably, as if I said something completely hilarious. I was a tad hurt to be honest. And then she finally stopped laughing. After like 5 minutes.

Her: Ha I'm sorry for laughing. I was just imagining us in the cab, me wasted and you with your hand down my shirt, with the excuse that you were just trying to keep my boobs from falling out. Yup you would be a perfect gentleman. SURE.

I swear to God, I am not even exaggerating that part, that's exactly what she said. Is this what women think of me? Seriously, does my face scream pervert or something? Can all the women out there who I been out with vouch for my complete gentlemanliness? Will you do that and give me back what little dignity and respect I can hold on to?

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

10 Wishes for the new year

1. I wanna see less emo blog posts about the ex-bf/ex-gf

Yes your ex was an asshole/bitch. We got that from the 500 previous posts that you have about him/her. Move on already and get a life, because it's obvious you don't have one right now. nd yes, we know it was all his/her fault, and absolutely none of yours. Now stop playing the victim and fishing for sympathy.

2. Less cringy lovey-dovey/intimate posts about the bf/gf

I can stand the occasional post gushing about the better half, people in love/lust are prone to insanity and lack of reason at times, that's perfectly understandable. But for god's sake, you don't need to mention your better half EVERY FREAKING POST, it makes you seem like you have no life without them. And we don't need to know what you guys do in bed. Seriously. If you really really need to share, upload a bloody video next time, ala Tammy.

3. For my blog to update to Blogger Beta

I still cannot upgrade. Bloody hell I started this freaking blog like so long ago but now I am one of the last few to still be stuck with this old crappy version. Talk about repaying loyalty. Blame Blogger for the recent lack of updates, I was too pissed to write creatively.

4. To get my driving license

Yes I don't have one. Yes I'm 28. The reason I haven't gotten one is because I know I'm this really dangerous rebel who will probably speed each time he gets behind the wheel. You don't give a crazy chimpanzee a car to drive, that's just asking for trouble. But I decided this year that I shall get it this year. Hopefully.

5. To piss off less women

For some reason, I keep doing so. Don't know why. I think it has to do with my face.

6. People who use blogs to tick off/send messages to friends in the same country.

SO BLOODY STUPID. You heard of this thing called the cell phone!? Also can you not be a kid and insult/admonish friends on your blog. If you have a problem with someone, please be an adult and settle it privately. And the "they are also doing it" argument makes you even more childish.

7. Abolishment of local English TV Channel

Does anyone even watch Channel 5 anymore? Freaking waste of taxpayer's money.

8. To meet more people who realize that I am joking when I am joking.

People just don't get deadpan humor sometimes.

9. To have more meaningful conversations with the niece.

Right now it's mainly about food and her bowel movements. Not fun at all.

10. To meet that special someone.

Yes, the whole NYE couply party thing made me realize that I was the only one there who wasn't gonna get any action that night. I never wanna feel that way again.

Monday, January 01, 2007

New Year's Eve (NYE)

Had a very good NYE, although it started out a little sucky. Booked a table at Margarita's at East Coast Road for dinner, but we arrived 15 minutes late and they gave it away. But we ended up at this nice Eurasian restaurant opposite the road, and they even let us open our bottle of wine without a corkage fee. I could swear the waitress had a thing for me, she kept coming back to attend to us more often than is normal, although my friends (including my date) refused to acknowledge the obvious truth when I brought it up. Sometimes people just refuse to accept reality even when it's right in front of them.

But yeah it was really nice hanging out with the whole bunch of friends from JC, it's been a really long time since we all did that. One of them was James who came back from LA just to visit me, because he really missed me after I left LA. I missed you too buddy. Oh and yeah he came back to see his family whom he hadn't seen in a couple of years as well, but I was probably the primary reason for his return.

The gathering had a very couple-ly feeling to it though, mainly cos everyone came with their better halves except yours truly, I came with a girl friend (notice the space between the two words). They originally wanted to have some romantic NYE thing at some hotel and book rooms for the night. And when I pointed out that I was single and hence didn't have much use for a room, they were nice enough to offer to hire an escort for me for the night. They also offered other useful suggestions like maybe I could bring a friend , and book two single rooms, one for each of us. Yeah you can't really find friends like this nowadays, I almost shed a tear at their efforts to not make me feel out of place. But yeah in the end they scrapped that idea. I think it was something to do with the price of an escort for NYE.

All in all it was a great start to the year, and hopefully a good sign of things to come.