I am flying off to Portland for work on Monday morning. Really looking forward to it but the only thing that worries me is tips. Yeah here in Singapore you don't usually give tips, so it's gonna be a little weird having to do that there. Weird because I am a bloody cheapskate.
But I have just come up with a plan to avoid paying them. I am gonna act like a country bumpkin from some rural part of India (complete with an exaggerated Indian accent) and feign ignorance when it comes to tips. It will probably go like this :
Waitress: It will be 15.95 sir.
Me : (Hands over the exact amount) Thanks.
Waitress: How about a tip?
Me : No I am full, thank you.
Waitress: No sir would you like to add a tip to the bill?
Me: What is this? I didn't order tip! Why should I pay for a tip? Are you trying to cheat me?
Waitress: Sir, it's usual to pay a tip here?
Me: Who is Tip? Why should I pay this Tip, I don't even know him? Can you call Tip here, I wanna talk to him!
Waitress: Never mind, asshole.
So what do you think?