Tuesday, September 26, 2006

My Motorola L6 doesn't do sms anymore

Yes, for some reason it hangs whenever I try to type out a message. Really annoying. Have to send it to the shop but I am thinking of getting a new phone (k800i). So if I don't reply to your messages you know why. Anyone has this happened to them?

Muay Thai again

Yesterday was my 2nd lesson of muay thai, and thankfully it was slightly better. Emphasis on slightly. I didn't rush my punches and kicks this time around, and thankfully I managed to greatly reduce my girly punches/kicks to like 5%. But at the end of the warmdown, we were made to do chin-ups, sit-ups and push-ups. Hmm it was as if the instructor wanted to see if he could break me by focusing on my weakest body parts - my girly arms and my beer belly, which i refer to affectionately as my baby.

I think we did like a 100 crunches, and at the end I couldn't even sit up without assistance. I could almost felt my baby dying inside my tummy. Then it was push-ups. I lost count of how many we did, but in the end I was doing girl pushups. I could almost feel the look of disgust the instructor gave me even though he was standing behind me, but at that point I was too tired to care.

After the lesson, my friend brought me to this California Fitness booth at Novena Square to take a fat/fitness test. Apparently California Fitness are opening a new branch at Novena Square, so they were giving all these tests and freebies to promote the opening of their branch.

I was pretty apprehensive at first as I was not sure how the machine worked. I was wondering what would it do if it found me too fat. Would it say in a robotic voice - "Congrats. You have the fat content of a baby hippo." ? Oh would there be flashing red lights and sirens? I mean you never know what these people might resort to get others into the gym.

The guy who helped me with the test was a short guy with huge biceps. His biceps were so huge that it was all I could do NOT to squeeze them, just to see if they were real. He helped me onto the machine, gave me these two handles to grab on to, and then told me to wait while the machine computes my "fatness". Five minutes went by and the machine was still computing. I was beginning to worry that maybe there was too much fat for it to compute, I was half expecting an error message saying "Infinite fat detected, unable to compute" or something like that. But then finally it completed its analysis and the results came out in a printout.

The results were actually pretty decent. It said that I was pretty fit, I had gotten a fitness score of 78 which puts me in the good category (80 is very good). I had to lose 11 kg of fat to reach my ideal weight, but everything else was pretty normal. I'm glad I did the test, I knew that I had become fitter after all that running, but at least now I have a piece of paper to prove it. And you can't put a price on that. Now if they only had a machine which after it does the fat analysis immediately performs liposuction on the affected areas.

Now that would be really something.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Float like a turtle, sting like a butterfly (Part 2)

Eventually the instructor couldn't bear to see me in action anymore, and he promptly asked me to "take a rest" at the side while the others kept training. Of course that was codeword for "Stop embarrassing yourself and me, I will not have you insult my dojo". So I stood at the side as the rest continued their drills, slowing waiting for my arms to regain some feeling.

Finally after what seemed like an eternity he let me into the sacred circle again. This time I was resigned to the fact that I had no dignity left. I will probably be, from now on, known as the Indian guy with the flailing girl arms. So I took my time with my punches and kicks. It was still really tough, but at least I reduced the amount of senseless flailing that I had resorted to earlier and did regain some measure of dignity.

Finally (and thankfully) it ended. My arms hanged uselessly by my side as I thanked the instructor, I had no more strength to even lift them. I took a quick shower and headed back to the train station. And I realized I couldn't climb the stairs to the station, my legs and hands just wouldn't obey my order for them to go against gravity. I had to practically haul myself up by pulling myself up using the metal railing at the side of the stairs. A man who was going down the stairs looked at me as I struggled up, and then he fished out his wallet and offered me ten dollars. Yes, he thought I was some sort of poor invalid and he was probably impressed that I could actually climb the stairs or something. I politely declined by grunting (I was too tired to talk) and he apologized and hurried away.

So that was my first taste of muay thai, AKA bloody torture. And I am going to do it next Monday as well. Yes despite all that pain, it was actually very cathartic to punch and kick the damn bag, I was imagining someone I really hated while I was doing it, and for that brief 5 minutes it felt good. And also it was an amazing workout, my hands haven't felt this exhausted since that 6 hour porn marathon I went through when I was a teen. Let's wait and see how my 2nd lesson goes.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Float like a turtle, sting like a butterfly (Part 1)

K I am going to let you guys in on a little secret. I been jogging like 14 km a week for the past couple months, in my third and final attempt at maintaining a regular exercise regime. I been feeling much fitter since I first started, so when a friend asked me to join her muay thai class, I was thinking "Why not? She's a girl, and if she can do it I'm pretty sure I can too!". And so I agreed, fully confident that my 2 plus months of regular exercise would probably make it not that tough for me.

So we arrived promptly for the lesson, and first they made us do stretching. We had to put our legs up on this ledge, but I couldn't stretch my leg far enough. Hey, it's a common (and very known) problem among guys with huge dicks alright. Off to a bad start, but I decided I will make up for it for the actual lesson.

Next was skipping rope. K I kind of panicked, I haven't skipped rope since secondary school. But there was this other woman who looked like she was in her late 30s who was also attending the class, and she was doing pretty fine, so I decided it was probably like cycling, you can't forget it. I was wrong. I skipped like I just got stabbed in my right foot. I think I barely stringed five skips together before I stepped on the rope. K fine 0 out of 2, but there is still the actual lesson, I was determined to really give a good showing in that.

So now it was time for the lesson proper, punching and kicking the punching bag. I started off furiously, I was determined to at least gain some pride back after my poor showing in the warm up and skipping rounds. I was doing a pretty good job. For about 2 minutes. Then my arms began to feel like lead. Then my legs. Pretty soon I was hitting the bag like a girl. No not a girl, because my friend was doing it way better than me. I was hitting the bag like a primary school girl. You seen how they fight, they just flail their arms about and hope they hit something. I was doing EXACTLY that. Oh and I was moaning at the same time, like a whale that just been harpooned.


(To be continued tomorrow)

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Weight is not an appropriate conversation starter

Yes the title would seem like an obvious statement, but apparently it isn't as obvious to some people.

I was having dinner with my friend R last week when she saw a former acquaintance of hers, someone she hasn't seen in a while. At first the friend of hers didn't seem to recognize her, but then he realized who she was and came over. Now, I was expecting the guy to say something like "Hey, it's been a while, how ya been?" or something to that effect. But what he (let's call him ASS) said totally took me by surprise:

Ass : "I'm sorry but I REALLY need to tell you this. You REALLY put on a lot of weight." (Yes he emphasized the word "really")

WTF!!? Why the hell do people say stuff like that? I hated it when my relatives said that to me when I went over to pay them a visit. And they wonder why I rarely come to visit them nowadays. Seriously, here's a tip for people who love to give those kind of comments - people KNOW that they put on weight, you do NOT need to tell them. We know that our clothes did not shrink. We know that the reason we can no longer walk up the stairs without sighing is not because they have gotten steeper.

To her credit, R took it pretty well. And the insane thing is she looks fine to me, but the way he said it was like she had put on a million pounds. Not that it would be ok for him to say it then. And people wonder why young girls nowadays are starving themselves to the brink of death just to stay stick thin.

If it had been me, I would have probably replied with "OMG Really?? Thanks for telling me, I never noticed!" or "You don't look so hot yourself" or " Well true, but I still look better than that girl you went out with last time, the one that looks like a horse?". Alright fine, I would have probably just stayed silent and then cry myself to bed that night. Yes, I am very non-confrontational in person (AKA I have no balls).

So don't be like ASS, and think before you speak the next time you feel the need to point out flaws in someone you meet.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Long overdue meme

Servers down for maintainance. I'm restless, my fingers keep itching. So in the meantime, a meme.


List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they’re not any good, but they must be songs you’re really enjoying now. Post these instructions in your Livejournal (or blog) along with your 7 songs.


1. Walk With Me in Hell - Lamb of God (Thrash)

Amazing riff right off the bat. My favorite song off their new album Sacrament.

2. With A Thousand Words To Say But One - Darkest Hour(Metalcore)

Amazing intro, great song.

3. SOS - Rihanna

I can't NOT dance and sing along when this song comes on. It's not a pretty sight.

4. Through the Fire and the Flames - Dragonforce (Power Metal)

This song has probably my favourite guitar solo ever. Lead singer reminds me of Robert Plant from Led Zep.

5. Seabeast - Mastodon (Progressive Metal)

A song about Moby Dick. The video is awesome, it's done like a 60s silent movie.

That's it, only 5 that stick in my head right now. I usually listen to whole albums on my player, not songs.

That was for you, my lovely Raine.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Does my face scream serial rapist? (Finale)

So I sat there all moody and dejected after my new friend deserted me for some other friend's wedding. But then another group joined our table, a father and daughter. The daughter was kinda cute but kinda young , I think she was probably around 19. But hey age is just a nuisance number and she's legal, so I waited for her to look in my direction, and then I gave her my friendliest non-perverted smile ever.

What do you know, she smiled back, and it was a pretty sweet smile. And then she started heading towards my direction. Yes she was going to sit beside me! I thanked god for finally giving me a break. But then just as she was going to sit down, a voice bellowed "No, sit here!". It was her dad. She looked at him for a moment, as if contemplating whether or not to defy him, but then she gave me a sad smile and moved over to the other seat. Her dad then took the seat beside me and gave me a really long hard stare. It was as if he knew of my plans to defile his little girl or something.

By now the table was completely full of people who seemed to know everyone else, with the exception of me. I felt as if I was intruding on some family reunion to be honest. And then hot girl finally decides to strike up a conversation with me. From across the table. And hence allowing everyone to listen in on our conversation. She started asking me about what I worked as, where I studied etc etc. And I kept giving really curt answers because I didn't feel like sharing my personal details with everyone in the table. But she didn't stop. After 5 minutes of forcibly sharing my life details with a table of complete strangers, I excused myself and left soon afterwards.

And so ends the serial rapist trilogy. It was pretty sucky for the most part, but I did get to meet this really amazing guy, so it wasn't a total disaster. I only wished I had gotten his number, I would have loved to hang out with him sometime. Oh and I forgot to mention in the other post, he paid me a really nice compliment - he said I looked younger than my age. I almost blushed when he said that. Some people just have that knack of making people feel good about themselves. Maybe someday I will get to repay the favor.

Monday, September 04, 2006

Steve Irwin killed

It's pretty sad, I really liked the guy. It was pretty obvious from his show how passionate he was about what he did. He was the first guy that I saw who got so excited while describing seemingly normal animal behavior, he would explain things like a kid discovering magic for the first time.

My fondest memory was when he was talking about this croc, and it bit his hand and held it for like 10 seconds. He was totally cool the whole time, and when he finally got his hand free he continued presenting, with his hand dripping blood. If it was me I would have been crying for my mom and/or fainted.

RIP dude.

p.s. Click the title of the post to read the BBC news report about his death.

Does my face scream serial rapist? (Part 2)

Sigh my children, so impatient you all are.

Alright so where did I stop? Oh yeah I was trying to have a conversation with the hot chick's back. Then the bride's brother brought another person to the table. A GUY. And asked him to sit right beside me. I looked at him angrily, and then I saw it. A glint in his eye. This was his payback for me bullying him when we were younger. He probably told hot girl that I was gay or something - that was the only reason I could think of for her ignoring me the way she did. Some people can be so immature I tell ya.

Anyway I ignored the guy and kept trying to get the hot girl's attention, but I realized after 15 minutes that I wasn't getting anywhere. So out of sheer boredom I turned to the guy beside me and striked up a conversation. He looked like the typical Indian mama, but beggars can't be choosers.

I couldn't have been more wrong. The guy turned out to be pretty cool. He was in the top 6% of his polytechnic batch, but he made the stupid mistake of signing up for the air force and was now stuck in a bond. He was smart, funny and time just melted away as we chatted. We talked about our careers, about how all the women we met were either psychos or closet lesbians, and how we are better off without them. I couldn't believe it, I was actually having a great time. I looked at him again, and realized how shallow I was for pre-judging him without even getting to know him first.

Suddenly he stopped talking and looked at his watch. Then he looked at me, and I knew it was gonna be bad news.

Him: Sorry I got to go. Got a wedding to attend.
Me: Can't you stay a bit longer?
Him: Nope sorry. It's a close friend of mine. I have to go. It was nice talking to you.

I hate to admit it, but I actually felt sad that he had to leave. I just wanted to talk to him some more. I mean, he could have stayed for another 5 more minutes, was that really too much to ask? But he didn't , and I didn't press him further. I watched him leave, not knowing if I would ever see him again. And the strangest part is now there were 4 other people at the table, but I felt lonelier than when I first came and there was no one.

That's not the end of the story. Part 3 tomorrow.

Sunday, September 03, 2006

Does my face scream serial rapist? (Part 1)

That was a rhetorical question, in case you feel the urge to leave an answer. It happened again. If you remember, I blogged a while back about my friend's birthday party at Cafe Iguana, and how the cute girl opposite me would rather stare at the ceiling than talk to me. I cried myself to sleep that night, but the next day I told myself it was one of those freakish things that happen once to everybody.

I couldn't have been more wrong.

I went to the solemnization ceremony of a childhood friend of mine (let's call her V) at this clubhouse at Balestier Road yesterday. My sister was supposed to accompany me since she knows V too, but then inconveniently she gave birth last week and so was confined for the next month. Anyway I was sitting there alone at this huge round table, waiting for the ceremony to start and getting really bored out of my mind because I didn't know anyone there. Then this rather fetching girl in a sari came to my table. V's brother had seen me sitting alone and had asked that girl to sit on my table. So nice of the boy to hook me up. Almost made me feel bad for beating him up when we were kids.

Unfortunately it went downhill from there. First, she felt the need to choose the seat furthest and directly opposite from me on the table, even though they were all empty. K fine I thought, I been through dates where the girl did that so it was no biggie; I was confident that I could win her over with my charisma and personality. But before I could utter a word, she turned her back to me and looked at the stage. At the old (and topless) Indian priest who was doing the Hindu rites. Yup, she would rather see an ugly old half-naked guy chanting mantras than talk to me. I couldn't believe it was happening again. I would have rather she stared at the ceiling like the other girl.

What's up with those Indian priests anyway? They are half-naked all the time during all these functions. The thing is they are almost always fat. I don't know, but if I had to be half-naked in front of people most of the time I would probably try and work out and have a half decent body to display. But hey that's me.

But I digress. I spent the next half hour looking at hot chick's back which was not as fun as it sounds. I think she turned around like once to drink from her cup during that time without even looking at me. But then something amazing happened. Will blog about it tomorrow.