Thursday, August 31, 2006

I hate you (but I am not emo)

I am sitting here in my office, trying my best not to lose it. And at this very moment only one person comes to my mind. It's a guy. He's naked and shivering, and he is watching me in fear. Fear of what I am going to do to him. He is right to be afraid, I am imagining all the unspeakable things that I would like to do to him. To make moan in pain, to make him suffer. Just like what he had done to me. I want him to taste his own medicine, to let him know how bitter it is.

My hands are still shivering, and as hard as I try I can't make them stop. I never hated anyone as much as I hate him right now. I am talking about the guy who came up with that stupid thing called "centralized air conditioning".

Seriously, this has to be the dumbest invention ever. My office space is perpetually ice cold, and when it rains (like now) it's freezing to the point that my fingers are suffering from frostbite. I went to the receptionist but she said there is nothing that can be done, that the controls to the air-conditioning throughout the building is "centralized". In fact no one knows who controls it or even where the control center is. I don't get it. Isn't technology suppose to make it easier for us to control our resources, rather than prevent it?

I trudged back to my seat dejectedly. Along the way I noticed the girls in the marketing department huddling together trying to keep warm. I wanted to go over and hug them, to sacrifice some of my body heat to keep them warm. But as is often the case, my intentions would most probably be misinterpreted so I didn't.

I don't know how long I can take this. It's getting so bad that I feel like asking my colleague to hug me just for his body heat. I am actually eyeing his warm body with lustful longing right now as I type this. This is what I have become. But I am too cold to care anymore.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Cubicle Etiquette

I was in one of the cubicles in the office loo yesterday and taking a dump when the most foulest stench permeated the air. I almost gagged. No it wasn't me, it was coming from the adjacent cubicle

I am pretty self-conscious when it comes to this, I usually flush every few minutes if it's one of those dumps that are gonna take a while. I do that because I am aware that any scent that is emitted from me is probably something others would not wanna experience.

But apparently from yesterday's experience it's not true of anyone. It was pretty overpowering to the point of being nauseating and I sat there praying to God that he would flush it immediately, but my prayers went unanswered.

In the end I couldn't take it anymore and left the cubicle, my own task uncompleted. It really sucks when you have an unfinished dump. It's like when you are having sex and suddenly you realize that your erection is gone because you got too nervous. Not that it happened to me (as if!), it happened to a really close guy friend of mine, let's call him milberty. But yeah you just end up feeling frustrated and like complete sh*t (no pun intended) because you couldn't finish what you started.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

I am a bloody idiot

I was on the train earlier when this old guy started hogging the pole while spreading his arms, taking up like 4 people worth of space in an already crowded train. I was standing next to him, so I decided to take a picture of him with my phone and blog about it now.

My phone is on vibrate as I am always listening to my mp3 player on the train, so I casually dropped my phone and pointed it sideways towards him. And pressed the button.

By pure coincidence, he immediately turned towards me! I quickly pretended to check my phone for messages but the guy kept glaring at me. Thank god I was dropping off at the next stop , I didn't turn back as I exited the train but I was pretty sure he was still glaring at me.

I then started wondering how come he knew I was taking a picture of him as I was pretty careful to not be obvious about it, so I decided to try and take another picture. Imagine my horror as my phone made a super loud shutter sound when I pressed the button. In BLOODY VIBRATE MODE.

Thank god it wasn't some ah beng, probably would have punched me in the face. Stupid phone, I still can't get the camera to stay silent!

My ex-intern found my blog!

This former intern of my department stumbled on my blog by accident and recognized me. Not that I mind, but there was this recent entry about another intern I wrote which could be a bit embarrassing if that particular intern read it and took it seriously.

I make it a point never to blog about people IF I know that they read my blog, mainly because they might take it the wrong way even if I didn't mean any offence; in fact that's what happened in the past. But it's not always foolproof, recently another girl I blogged about (the girl with the very pretty necklace) also discovered my blog, although thankfully she wasn't offended. I always thought that the chance of someone I write about stumbling onto this page was remote, but now I might just have to rethink my blogging policy.

By the way blogger beta (beta.blogger.com) is out, and it has some really nifty features. :

1. Give your posts labels/tags for easier categorization
2. Control who can read your blog
3. Change the appearance and content of your blog with your mouse instead of HTML

Those 3 are quoted from the official blogger blog. The last isn't so exciting for me, but the first two are long overdue enhancements. Although on second thought, I will probably stick with having another blog for my private posts just so that I don't accidentally post something that was supposed to be private. Will probably move over during the weekend, just in case I encounter any screw ups. You know, after I come back from clubbing 5 am in the morning on Sat, being the party animal that I am. What did you think, that I was going to stay home the entire weekend? Like hello!

But would appreciate it if anyone who has already crossed over can let me know of any problems they are having or had, and things I need to take note of. Thanks.

Oh and before I forget, a shoutout to Nicole! Nice to see ya again love.

p.s. I just realised I overused the word "blog" in this post.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Why I haven't been blogging

Quite a few people have been asking me this so I decided to dedicate a blog post to it. Yes the irony. K actually only 2 people have asked me so far, but I am sure many of you out there are silently wondering as well.

It's because I have a life damn it. Yes unlike you people out there blogging every other day, I actually have things that occupy me in the real world. And for the past few weeks I been occupied with this one real life task that has completely consumed me, leaving me with little time for online pursuits. What is it I hear you ask?





Yes that's Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II. It's a role playing game (RPG) I been completely obsessed with for the past month. And probably the best RPG I have played for a while thanks to its really engrossing storyline. Give me a game with a great story anytime, compared to mindless hacking (Diablo) and shooting (Half-Life) anytime.

Alright I am not gonna bore you with any more details because unless the Force is strong in you you would find it hard to understand what I am saying. But I am almost done replaying the game so you should see regular updates from me soon. In the meantime, follow my example and get a life!!


Sunday, August 13, 2006

The scent of a durian

I was at the supermarket yesterday doing my grocery shopping when I came across these guys selling durians. I breathed in the wonderful smells and my mouth started to water. And that reminded me of a friend, of something he said a couple weeks back. He said he almost tried durians once, but he couldn't bear to because of the stench, which according to him, was comparable to sewage.

Yeah, you heard me right. SEWAGE. Hell if sewage smelt that good I would go swimming in it. I love the smell so much that if they had a durian cologne, I would be the first one to buy it. Yes if you can't tell by now, I am a huge durian lover.

I remember as a teenager the only time I would come out of my room (I spent a lot of time in my room exploring myself) ) was when someone bought durians. Oh and also when my sister's hot friends from school came over, but I digress. We would then lay out newspapers on the floor and start splitting and sucking the sweet succulent cream off the seeds, it was almost like a family ritual. Those were good times.

The friend is question is a foreigner from a non durian eating country. And I notice that the other foreigners i know also can't stand the smell, so I am guessing only non-locals would have that problem. But a friend I talked to earlier also can't stand the smell and she's local. So anyway I just wanted to find out if that's true. Are there any foreigners out there who actually like durians? And are there also locals who find the scent repulsive, or is that local friend of mine like weird or something?


technorati tags:,

Friday, August 04, 2006

Tech: Password protect your blogger posts!

One of the biggest problems with blogger is that it doesn't allow you to password protect your posts. Fortunately someone came out with a way to do so. To read more and find out how to do it, go here. Pretty nifty, but I am now trying to find out a way to not show the encrypted text. The password for this post is "indianstallion".



Please go to http://www.vincentcheung.ca/jsencryption/instructions.html to see how to do this.

EDIT: This is an ancient post and doesn't seem to work anymore.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

We don't get any respect!



That front page of our local newspaper has been stirring up a lot of controversy lately; apparently the bloggers' pictures on that page were taken from their blogs without any permission. I think there is even an online petition that has been created to protest against the newspaper's actions.

I have to admit I was really pissed off when I saw the page as well.  I am sick of the media of treating us like crap and not giving us the respect we deserve. Seriously how bias can they get? Bloody hell they can put a dog and a picture of an infant (who I suspect aren't bloggers) there, but they can't even find a single picture of a male Indian blogger (MIB)?  WTF!?

Don't we breathe the same air as the bloggers of other races? Don't we drink the same water? Don't we eat the same food? Alright, ignore the last point because I don't really like Chinese food.  But it's as if they think we MIBs aren't really serious bloggers; that all we are good for is making pratas and the ability to hold our alcohol. Oh, and our huge dicks as well, can't forget that.  Damn them, we are more than that.

This has gotta end here and now. I am going to start a petition asking them to include one of us MIBs in the next article they write criticizing local bloggers. And also that when they do, they include a huge ass picture of a MIB on the front page. Who is with me?

technorati tags:, , , , ,

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Say no to premarital sex, kids!

It's hard being a teen nowadays. They are subject to way more pressure than I did when I was one. They have to constantly juggle school work as well as extra curricular activities. They get bombarded with media images telling them how to dress and how skinny they should be in order to be accepted by society. They also have to fend off horny boyfriends and perverted older men who try to take advantage of their naivete. At least that's what the girls in the IRC teen channel tell me.

Anyway I read in today's paper about how Singapore Muslim community is taking steps to discourage pre-marital sex among Muslim teenagers because of the sharp increase in abortions,STDs and pregnancies recently. One of those steps is to get taxi drivers to "advise" teen couples who get into their cab late at night. I think it's a swell idea. What better way to end a date than listening to a talk about the dangers of premarital sex from your friendly cab driver? But I am just wondering how the taxi driver would approach this rather sensitive topic? Maybe it might go something like this:

Girl: I had a really good time tonight.
Boy: I did too. (To cab driver) Hi, could you go to punggol avenue 4?
Cabbie: Oh only one place?
Boy: Yup.
Cabbie: Oh you must live really close to each other eh?(Starts driving)
Cabbie: So are you Muslims?
Boy: Yes we are.
Cabbie: Cool me too! So you guys thinking of having sex later?
Girl: Excuse me?
Cabbie: Well me and my wife have sex pretty often now, and we are both really glad that we waited till we got married. If we had pre-marital sex we probably be so sick of it that we won't be having it at all now. I'm just saying.
Boy: Thanks for sharing.
Cabbie: You are welcome. My friend Ali had sex before he was married, and he's now in the hospital dying of AIDS. You don't wanna die of AIDS, It's not really the best way to die. He tells me that God is punishing him for having pre-marital sex. His wife and children have long abandoned him. He's probably gonna burn in hell for all eternity. Do you kids wanna burn in hell? Well do you??


You know that might just work.