Monday, June 12, 2006

Rollerblading : My Progress

To be honest it hasn't been very encouraging. I am a natural when it comes to certain things (e.g. the ability to give unimaginable pleasure to women in less than 5 minutes), but when it comes to sports I, to put it kindly, suck like a hooker with really bad teeth.

I started off really pumped up and excited about it, I managed to get a friend of mine to show me the ropes, so we headed off to east coast last weekend. I fell every 5 minutes but I was still not discouraged, I got up each time and tried again. You seen those nature programs where the fawn tries to stand up after the mom just gave birth to it right? It was something like that, I think I looked pretty adorable to be honest. But then it hit me.

Pain. Specifically pain on my lower pack. I tried to ignore it at first but then it got pretty bad and within 10 minutes I couldn't bear it anymore; I rolled off to side of the track and lay down on the grass.

It was not a pretty sight. I could feel the eyes of people on me as they bladed/cycled past me, I could feel their looks of pity as they stared at me lying there and moaning in pain. It was as if they were looking at a beached whale; they felt pity for it but they was nothing they could do to help except to shoot it and end its misery. There was this one kid who tried to help me up. But despite his good intentions he wasn't strong enough, and after 5 minutes he gave up and ran away crying, unable to bear seeing me in that state any longer.

Amid the waves of pain racking my body I suddenly remembered my friend was around, he could help me. I started shouting out his name (alright it was more like wailing his name) but he didn't come to my assistance even though he was like only 10 meters away. In fact it seemed like he bladed further away upon hearing my screams.

After what felt like an eternity I finally found the strength to get up. I took off the blades and looked for my friend and asked him why he didn't hear me. He said he didn't hear my screams which I thought was strange.

So that was my first blading experience. Despite the horrific ordeal I am determined to try again, simply because I already spent close to 200 dollars on the blades and the gear. Will keep you guys updated on the progress.


  1. *wipes tears away*

    Oh you poor, poor whale!

  2. DUDE. I WILL TEACH YOU OK. (: but only after my damned common tests end. ibook you on the 30th of june hows that.

  3. Well-- speaking from someone who can't even swim (@ 30 ? wTF). I think your first time out went really well!!!!

  4. Do it like a real Tamilian. Drink some tiger first then blade - you will float like a butterfly!

  5. Ok so let me attempt to translate that post:

    I make women really happy by running off to watch America's Next Top Model within 5 mins of starting to hit on them, but I am generally bad at sports.

    Went blading the other day, fell down a lot and not only did it hurt like fuck, but I also looked pretty stupid. Just when I thought it couldn't get much worse, I fell down so hard this one time that I couldn't even get up. Did something to a boy who came to help and he ended up running away screaming. All the while my friend was too busy pretending he didn't know me so it took a while before he finally showed up to help.

    Blading sucks rat balls. But I've spent too goddamn much money on it to give up just yet.

    So there. All that passion, drama, blood and sweat reduced to mundane details of the blading experience of an amateur. This is why I will never be as great a writer as you, dear beloved Stallion. And this is why I love you :P

  6. Femme: Errm thanks?

    Preetha: K thanks love, I will do anything you want to repay you for your kindness. ANYTHING.

    Tinah: Ha I can't swim very well either.

    Anoy: Errm thanks but don't think so. Isn't it a crime to drink and blade?

    Sirisha: Hey you make my life seem so ordinary!! I hate you!! No dammit I love you. But alas you are promised to another, we can never be together.

  7. oh and i found it.
    Friday, January 27, 2006

    for this step towards independence ( i spelled that wrong?) i have you to thank.

    i am indebted.

  8. GILBERT! Hope you haven't forgotten me =D

    Here's my blog address :

    (The old one was - hope that jogs your memory)

  9. Anonymous: Yes my child, I was just pretending to be harsh when you asked me as I felt it was time for you to be more independent. It was really hard for me to tell you to look for the info yourselves you know.

    Jnanee: Hey! Of course I remember you, I would never forget you. Never. I still remember fondly that night when we met at the club. Or was it the pub? Or at that friend's house?

  10. Your photo is really freaky man - you are a virgin aren't you - that look can dry out the river nile if you know what I mean - hahahahhahahhaha - hahahaahah - damn the beautiful people.

  11. *shakes head* I'm your little cousin, you old man :P

  12. aww baby... i suck at rollerblading too! lets go together the coming weekend!