Wednesday, May 24, 2006

The most miserable living thing in the world

Work blows. I have this niggling feeling that it's time for a career change. Can't really put my finger on it, maybe it's the feeling I get every morning when I get up where I just wanna take a power drill and drill a hole into my brain. Or could be something else.

I went to Sentosa last weekend with 2 gal friends to suntan....k fine, to WATCH them suntan. I haven't been there in ages, but it was a nice feeling lying there in the hot sun with two beautiful women beside me. I offered to run suntan lotion on their backs and wherever else on their bodies that they needed lotion on but they gave me this really dirty look and declined.

I was quite hurt by their reaction, they looked at me as if I was some sort of pervert who was just using the lotion as an excuse to fondle their nubile bodies; when in actual fact I was just really concerned, as a friend should, that they would get sunburn (it was rather hot after all). Where is the trust I ask you? I thought friends should trust each other.

Oh then there was this rather cute girl running up and down the beach with her dog. The way she cuddled and pampered the dog made me wish I was the one on the end of her leash instead of that dumb dog.

Oh anyway back to the main point of this post. I was walking home a few days ago when I almost stepped on a snail. I gently kicked it to the grass and continued walking, but then I started thinking. Why the hell do snails even try and cross the pavement? Is it because they are sick of the grass on their side of the pavement? What if it turns out to be a road? They will probably die of old age (if they don't get run over or trampled on) before they reach the other side. Why even bother moving at all? And it must really suck for them when they get horny. They probably just end up humping the nearest insect around, like an ant or caterpillar. I pity those guys.


  1. What????

    Dude, you went from wanting to drill a hole in your head, to being upset about not being allowed to rub suntan lotion on the girls, to wanting to be a dog on a leash and somehow wound up with snails humping ants and/or caterpillars. What is wrong with you??
    We need to get pissed. Come let's.

  2. What have you done Bert!? Who knows why the snail wanted to cross the pavement? Maybe his love was on the other side. Or maybe he was moving. Do you have the slightest idea what you have done?!

    "Grunt! A lil bit more. Tt's it. Huff puff..Just a short distance!! what the hell..Don't kic...!!!
    It took me a whole year to come this far you idiot!!! What have you done!!!!....."

    Bert, i am afraid, you have sinned.
    *shakes head*

  3. your agitation is highly amusing. lol.

  4. Femme: Ha sure still got one bottle of vodka left. And if someone was gonna drill a hole in my head, i would rather be you.

    Chic: There was no love on the other side. I checked.

    Le Raine: How dare you, I am not agitated. I am just bitchy.

  5. and here I was lonely yesterday-- with a slight sunburn and nobody to rub lotion on it.

    life isnt fair. what city did you say you were in again?

    ~~~ Tina

  6. i think snails want to find out whether the grass is greener on the other side, just like all of us...nice post...i suggest continue thinking about being on a leash and forget the snailescapades.

  7. Tina: This is fate. Let me know the next time you are heading to the beach. I live in Singapore. Where are ya from?

  8. I live in the US -- central area of "Misery" or Missouri. no real beach where I'm at-- I WISH.

    Can I join you on YOUR beach???

    I got a slight sunburn from being outside for 3 days over the weekend. So much to do -- so little time!

    I'm starting a blog of my own! This is so much fun!!