Tuesday, May 30, 2006

I can't trust anyone anymore

Everyone has their weaknesses. Me, I have trouble opening myself up to people, mainly because it's the people who are closest to you who have the power to hurt you the most. I made that mistake once, and I swore to myself after that incident that it would never happen to me again. I was wrong.

I had recently gotten a new female intern a month back. At first it was a strictly professional relationship where I would just bark orders at her and she would scurry to complete them. But as the weeks went on, we got closer and closer. We started sharing laughs and giggles in the office and she would gaze adoringly into my eyes as I taught her the finer points of application optimization using profiling tools as well as other similarly fascinating topics. She would also sit beside me everyday, I think it was so that she could hear me speak of my beloved servers and the work I did everyday. I felt like we had a really strong and special bond, and possibly the start of something special despite her tender years.

Well a couple days ago I came to the office as I usually do and I headed towards my seat. After checking my email for a couple of minutes I turned around to talk to her. Only then did I realize that she was not there. I asked my colleague where she was, and he said he didn't know.

I started getting really worried, what if something bad had happened to her? I got up and started walking frantically around the office looking for her. I combed both floors but I still couldn't find her. Then just as I was going to call the police I heard a familiar voice giggling. I knew immediately it was her. I walked to the corner of the office from which the voice came from. There she was. Sitting in another cubicle. I started to ask her why she was sitting here instead of with me, but then I realized I didn't need to. There was this other guy beside her, he was the one who was making her giggle. Doing something to her that only I was supposed to. I couldn't bear to see it.

I turned and tried to walk away before she saw me, but I was too slow. She saw me and beckoned me over. I walked over and gave her a forced smile.

Intern: Hey Bert, this is my friend XXXXX. Apparently he's doing an internship here too. Isn't it a wonderful coincidence?
Me: (Wonderful my ass) Yes it is. Hi, XXXXX. Nice to meet you.

And then they resumed their conversation. After 5 minutes I begin to feel really silly standing there, so I excused myself and walked back to my seat. I tried to get back to my work, but I couldn't concentrate no matter how hard I tried.

It really hurts alright. I used to be the only guy (in the office) in her eyes, but now this punk XXXXX comes along and I am completely forgotten. Sigh I should have never let myself get close to her, I am to blame as well. But I never thought she would do this to me.

I sat alone the next day. And the day after that. And that was when I knew she wasn't going to come back. I had lost her forever. Now our only communication is when I send her her tasks through email. There is still laughter and giggles, but now they are coming from XXXXX and my intern.

Me, I think I have forgotten how to laugh. It seems so long ago since I did, although it was actually a week. But I have decided. I shall start throwing her tasks that I know she will struggle with. Let's see if she can still laugh after that. That's what she gets for playing with my feelings!!


  1. oh she's so cruel. how could she treat you like that??

  2. Bertie Baby!!!! I love you......don't be so sad okie?

  3. WHAT? WHAT? why is she sitting next to you?? I thought I was the only one!!!!

    ARgh-- ~heart crushed~ ~SIGH~

    oh, I loved you so.


    ~~~ TINA

  4. Preetha: Yes.

    Milktea: Yes exactly, you don't just sit with one guy one day and another the next.

    Anonymous: Who are ya.

    Femme: Errm why?

    Tina: Errm K are you that stalker who has been following me around.

  5. bah. sorry man. -hug- cheer up okay. me's here for you though i know im not exactly your intellectual equal or anyth.

  6. ~~Peering around corner~~

    Thinking to self: hmmm, where did he go?

    ~~sniffing air for handsome scent~~

    Thinking to self: darn, he must have gotten away!