Thursday, March 30, 2006

Sayonara!

Well actually I should say that next Tuesday. That will be the day I'm flying off to the land of the rising sun, the land of exotic geishas and lush greenery. Toyko, Japan, here I come!

It's a pretty last minute request and they needed my expertise in a certain customer site there so I was requested to go. Alright fine that's not exactly what happened. After the Boston trip debacle I was so distraught that I went around the office with this really sad puppy dog look in my face, the kind my dog makes when I'm devouring chicken in front of him and teasing him with it. I also broke down unexpectedly a few times in the office, I was that depressed.

I guess they couldn't bear seeing me in such pain anymore so they just shipped me off for some random training in Toyko next week. I was wondering why they seemed so nervous around me the last few days, but now I realize it was just an act to mislead me until they could surprise me with this trip. I love those guys but they are a little strange, they are still pretending to be nervous around me!

Anyway I haven't been there before so really looking forward to it. Probably gonna delay my flight to Sunday next week and stay there a couple of days to just do some sightseeing. So exciting. And this time the flight and hotel arrangements have been confirmed so I'm DEFINITELY going.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Sometimes bad things happen to good people

Someone hacked into my blog yesterday and added the post before this. I don't know about any no US trip. Damn you hackers!!

Alright fine, there was no hacking. I am not going alright. Yes you can go ahead and laugh at me for blogging about it when it wasn't even confirmed. But you can imagine my disappointment, especially after telling all my relatives about the trip; hell they were even going to hold like a farewell party for me. You might think it might be a tad overboard, but no one from my family tree has ever been to the promised land (that's what we call USA), it has always been our dream so it was a big deal to all of us. I was like a hero to them.

But now that dream is shattered. My relatives will probably call me a liar now, even if I explain to them that it wasn't my fault. I have lost my dignity and their respect, so I can forget about getting married to any of my relatives now. Mom is understandably distraught, she is silently weeping at the corner of the house as I type this.

Now I know how Job felt. Job was this dude in the Bible who was completely devoted to God, but he lost his wife and kids and his home and he ended up cursing God for his misfortune. Why God why, I was completely devoted to you (except for the porn addiction), why didn't you answer my prayers?

Screw it, I need to get wasted and drown my sorrows. Anyone has a bottle of tequila that they can share with me? Preferably a hot female who can offer her shoulder to me to cry on. If you fit the description please do contact me, it would renew my faith in God.

Monday, March 27, 2006

Feeling a bit excited

Just found out that there is a pretty high chance that I will be going to Boston next week for work. Keeping my fingers crossed.

So exciting!!

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Tech: Who blocked you on MSN?

I can't believe the number of people who install this crap willingly on their PCs. I guess some people just really need to know who blocked them. Just to inform you guys, it doesn't work. In fact all it does is send your friends annoying messages to ask them to install the program as well.

But if you do really feel the need to find out who blocked you on MSN, get Gaim. Gaim is a messenger that connects to MSN, but it also shows who either blocked OR deleted you. You can't really know which one it is (blocked or deleted) but it doesn't really matter does it?

Speaking of MSN Messenger, why do people insist on using those really annoying animation letters? Am I the only one who finds it incredibly annoying, so much so that I disabled animations/smilies altogether? And also those stupid nudges. I really liked MSN Messenger when it first came out because it was simple and not bloated like ICQ, but now it's really getting annoying every passing day.

Friday, March 17, 2006

Get your own lightsaber

This is so cool. You can now make a very realistic looking lightsaber by using a couple of basic plumbing equipment. I am gonna try it out really soon, if I can get the parts.

I still remember that one time when I was out with a girl friend, and being the gentleman that I am, I offered to carry this tube she had, it contained a movie poster. We were waiting for the train to arrive, so just for fun I started swinging the tube like a lightsaber and making that whirling lightsaber sound.

Her reaction was not what I hoped for. She stared at me incredulously, like I was crazy or something, and then quickly snatched the tube back from me. And then she called me a dork, among many other things. Sigh. Women.

Link: Make your own lightsaber

Thursday, March 16, 2006

They don't make them like they used to

I mean cartoons. I just don't get the appeal of cartoons nowadays. I don't get the appeal of Barney, or Teletubbies, or the current hot cartoon, Spongebob Squarepants. Seriously, is a sponge with a bad dress sense really a good role model for kids?

Back in my day we didn't have such lame ass cartoons. We had cartoons that really taught us something. One of my favorites was Captain Planet. Captain Planet was this superhero who fought evil people who abused the natural environment for their selfish corporate gains. He would be summoned into action by five kids who had these power rings which held the five elements (Earth, Wind, Fire, Water and Heart. It even had a nice segment at the end of each episode where they would teach you how you can do your part to save the environment and then he would end by saying "The power is yours!". It always made me feel pretty special every time he said that, it felt like he was talking to me alone.

But yeah I was a huge fan, so much so that I used to wear my own power ring (the Heart version) to school and go around trying to tell my friends to recycle their waste paper. If they didn't, I would point my power ring at them, warning them that I would summon Captain Planet to punish them if they failed to do so. Of course I was just bluffing, you need all 5 rings to summon him, but they didn't watch the cartoon so they didn't know that.

As you can guess it didn't really make me the most popular/coolest person in the word, but every time I got insulted for being an annoying prick I would just console myself by remembering what Captain Planet used to say - "No one can really be cool if there isn't a ozone layer." Anyway I did stop my evangelism after a while, mainly because of the beatings I used to get by other kids who sadly didn't realize that my views were for the greater good.

Anyway my point is Captain Planet really made me understand the value of conservation, cartoons nowadays should do that as well. Maybe that should make Spongebob talk about the importance of democracy and free speech, or something like that.

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Betrayal is an ugly thing

I have always been against the idea of using blogs for bitching purposes. I am of the old school of thought that think conflicts/arguments are better off handled in private between the parties involved, rather than publicized for everyone to see. It's all about respect you see. Sadly, today I am gonna be a hypocrite and bitch about someone. But I have a good reason though.

The person in question is someone I trusted with all my heart, but then I found out later that my trust was misplaced - she manipulated my feelings and caused me great anguish with her actions. You might be wondering what she could have done that was so bas as to cause me to forego my "no bitching on my blog" principle. Well let me tell you.

A couple posts back I talked about the hottie with the really nice rack necklace who mistakenly thought I was a perv. It was love at first sight for me, but after that unfortunate incident I knew I didn't have a chance. I confided my interest in my friend who was there with me, and she offered to try and hook me up with her if the oppourtunity arises. I was skeptical about my chances, but I thanked her for making the effort.

I didn't think anymore about the hottie (at least I tried not to), till I received a phone call a week ago.

Caller: Hi, this is Bert right? This is Hottie (I don't wanna reveal her real name).
Me: : (Stunned) Hey...Hi! How ya doing?

Yup she called me!! I can't really describe in words the way I felt at that moment, it was like having an orgasm. My sixth sense had been right, the sexual tension I felt that night wasn't just coming from me despite the fact that she did shield her chest with her bag. Sigh, women and their mixed signals. But it didn't matter now, fate has brought us together now. I started envisioning us getting married, having two kids and living in a nice apartment in town. But then my thoughts were abruptly interrupted by an almost maniacal laughter. Yup, Hottie was laughing, but I was confused as to why.

Me: Erm why you laughing?
Caller: Don't you know who I am?

I stood there confused for a minute. Then it hit me. It wasn't the hottie. It was Su, the "friend" whom I confided my feelings about hottie in. She knew that I had fallen in love with hottie and she decided to use my feelings for a cheap joke.

My whole world fell apart as I listened to her evil laughter. There would be no kids, no wedding, no apartment. I slowly put down the phone, but the laughter kept ringing in my ears. The laughter that mocked me for even trying to hope that I had a chance with the hottie. People can be so cruel sometimes.

I called my army buddy after that, hoping that he would comfort me, but he didn't answer his phone. I think he lost his phone, I been calling him and leaving voice messages everyday for almost a month now but he still hasn't replied.

I must have the worst luck in the world.

Friday, March 10, 2006

What do you do when 3 punks stalk you?

I am asking you that because that was what happened to me two days ago. This happened after the date I talked about in the previous post. I kid you not, what follows is 100% true (like everything on this blog).

I had just sent my girl friend home, she stays along Frankel Avenue which is this rather ulu (deserted) stretch of road with rows of semi-detached/terrace houses on both sides. It was just past midnight and there weren't any cabs in sight, so I started walking towards Kembangan MRT Station, hoping to get a cab there. As I started walking , I noticed 3 punks sitting at the coffeeshop (which had already closed for the day) opposite the road looking, no make that staring at me. I paid them no heed and continued walking.

After a few moments I turned around again; for some reason I sensed something was amiss. Imagine my shock when I saw the three guys had gotten up of their chairs and were crossing the road, heading straight for me. My heart was practically pounding as I tried to think about the best course of action. I thought of making a run for it, but the truth is despite my nickname I am not really known for my speed, I knew there was no way I could outrun them.

I then thought about screaming "MOLEST" in as high a pitch as I could reach, maybe that would freak them out or something, but then I spotted a car outside one of the houses along the road with a driver in it. I quickly walked over to the car and stopped there, pretending to check my phone. I figured that if they saw that there was someone else they would just leave me alone.

I was wrong. They continued walking towards me. They were much closer now, so close that I could make out a very evil grin on one of the men despite the rather poor light. At that moment I regretted not following mommy's advice. She had, a couple weeks earlier, asked me to get one of those shrill alarm keychain thingys for self-protection, but I thought it was kinda gay for a guy to carry and refused. Sigh the power of hindsight.

Then one of them shouted "Makkal". Makkal is a tamil slang that means "brother" if I am not wrong. I turned around and in the fiercest voice I could muster I replied "WHAT?". Then he replied "POLICE!"

Right. If they were policemen, then I'm gay. They were decked in T-shirts and jeans, and one of them was wearing his cap backwards. My street smarts told me they were not police. So I asked for their ID. One of them gave me a card, but it didn't even have the police logo on it. I kept staring at the card looking for anything that would confirm its authenticity when another punk shoved another card is my face, that one had the police logo.

Then the third punk started pulling out his handcuffs and I completely freaked out at the sight of them. But then he kinda noticed that I was probably on the verge of bursting into tears so he went like "See the handcuffs? We are really police la!"

Well so they were policemen, I was wrong. But I was still unsure why they chased after me from across the street. The guy with the cap then asked for my IC , while another asked to search my bag. I meekly complied, but while they were checking I asked why they were doing this. Turns out they were having an ops that night.

Anyway I guess they realized I was harmless after checking my bag and finding my Icewind Dale Trilogy book, in fact they kinda snickered. Bloody hell, is there anything wrong with reading fantasy novels? They returned my IC and bag, said thanks, and left. As I took back my items I realized my hands were shaking.

Hey it was pretty scary alright.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

What not to do on a date: Part 2

In my last post I mentioned how it isn't wise to stare at a girl's necklace as she might mistakenly think you are a perv staring at her boobs. Well an incident that happened yesterday compelled me to mention another tip for you guys out there - Don't catch a movie if you are dead tired and didn't have much sleep the night before.

It wasn't like this you know. When I was younger I didn't need much sleep , 2 hours max a day and I would still be alert and sprightly the next day. However in recent years I can no longer claim the same. For example, I used to last an impressive 15 minutes in bed, now the longest I can last is 5 minutes, after which I stop out of sheer exhaustion and ask the girl if we could just take a break and talk for a while. After which she usually leaves. But I digress. Back to the incident.

I had gone to watch Capote yesterday evening with a lady friend of mine. The only problem was I stayed up the night before to watch the Chelsea-Barcelona match and didn't get much sleep. I could feel myself dozing off within the first 10 minutes of the movie, but I tried to force my eyes open. Then the worst thing that could happen, happened - I started snoring.

Yes, SNORING. Really loudly. But it's kinda weird, I actually heard myself snoring and woke up after like 5 seconds. I looked towards my date, and then I wished I didn't, the look of sheer horror and disgust on her face was something I would have rather not seen.

I started blowing my nose really loudly after that, in a desperate attempt to convince her that I wasn't snoring, that I just had a really bad flu but she didn't buy it. I could feel the lady sitting on the other side of me glaring at me as well, but I decided to just play it cool and not look.

I will not even go into details how the rest of the date went. It's just too painful. The words "awkward silence" wouldn't even start to describe it.

So yes, learn from my mistakes and heed my advice. Get sufficient sleep prior to a date. You will thank me for it one day.

Monday, March 06, 2006

My Moves

I was reading Jean's post about how some guys have certain moves they do when they court a girl they fancy, and that got me thinking about my own moves. Yes they don't call me lady boy for nothing, I am quite the maestro when it comes to wooing the fairer sex. However, I do have an occasional misstep once in a while, and I had a rather unpleasant one two weeks ago.

I was with a couple of friends at China Square when another girl joined us. She took my breath away the minute I saw her, she was quite attractive and had a pretty nice smile. She was also wearing this really low cut top that showed off her ample cleavage, but it was the smile that most entranced me.

Anyway, one of my moves is to compliment a girl on her jewelry. The hottie happened to have this rather exquisite necklace on her so I took a long hard stare at it, just to see its fine craftmanship.

Su: Stop staring at her boobs!!
Me: Eh...What? No I was not staring at her boobs!

But it was too late. When I turned back to look at the hottie, she had covered her cleavage (and as the result the necklace as well) with her handbag, and giving me this really dirty look. I was gonna talk to her and explain that I was just starting at her necklace, but the way she looked at me the rest of the night convinced me that it would have futile.

Sigh I don't know why I keep getting into these situations. All I was doing was innocently appreciating her necklace (which coincidentally was at her cleavage), and people assume I'm being a perv. It's even more disappointing when it's your own friend who thinks that. Yes Su, you really hurt my feelings that day, I cried myself to sleep that very night. So any girls out there, next time I am staring at your necklace I hope you know that's all I am looking at.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Post-RT

I put on my extra tight PT (Physical Training) shorts and singlet, combed my hair and got ready to leave. I was almost out the door when mommy yelled to me.

Mom: Where you going?
Me : RT!
Mom: Didn't that end last week?

I turned around and looked at her in disbelief, and then I realised she was right. RT was over but I had completely forgotten about it. It's funny how you can sometimes block things out of your mind when you desperately don't want them to be true.

I walked back to my room. Sat down in my chair and stared out the window for the next few hours. Well actually , I took a break after the first hour because my shorts were too tight and I had to change into something looser. But after that I continued staring. Wondering where he might be, what he was doing.

A couple of friends been telling me my blog has been rather whiny recently. Well I am sorry that my grief over what happened with my buddy is boring you. Would you rather I talk about something completely mundane and overhyped like the circulation of a sex video of a local student?

But to those who have offered words of encouragement and support, I thank you. Especially those of you whom I don't know. Nothing means more to a blogger than concern from complete strangers, it just shows how much people out there care. God bless you all.

Brokeback Mountain funny?

I been wondering about this for quite a bit. Did anyone of you find Brokeback Mountain funny while you were watching it?

I am only asking because I was pretty annoyed when a sizable portion of the audience laughed during this really powerful scene. No I ain't talking about the sex scene, but (SLIGHT SPOILER AHEAD) the scene where the two of them were making out and the wife (of one of them) chances upon them.

She was completely shocked when she sees them. Her expression on her face was telling, it was as if she couldn't believe what she just saw. However for some reason people in the cinema started laughing at the expression on her face, which I really don't get. Then they laughed when he introduced his "friend" to his wife. Again I didn't see the humorous side of it. I really doubt they would have laughed if she had spotted her husband making out with a girl.

So if you laughed, tell me why?