We went to watch Brokeback mountain, it was such a beautiful story. After that we had a really nice candlelight dinner at the restaurant. We talked, we laughed, it was the best Valentine's day I ever experienced.
That was what I was expecting to blog. But the reality is, like is usually the case, turned out rather ugly. I told him about the surprise I planned for him while we were in the gents, he was peeing away happily. I then waited for him to finish up and look at me, to see that smile on his face that would tell me how happy he was that I went to that much trouble.
He zipped his pants up and turned towards me. But there was no smile, just a really ugly scowl. Then he said something to me that I can't bear to repeat here. Very hurtful words they were. And with that he left, leaving me sobbing over the sink.
I don't get men. You do everything you can to please them, to let them know that you care a lot for them. But it is never enough for them, they never appreciate it. It's ironic in a way, with his actions he caused me so much pain that I felt as if my back had been broken. Just like the title of the movie. Yes it's a bit of a stretch but I am upset here dammit.
I spent the rest of my V day evening listening to Unbreak My Heart by Toni Braxton. I kept thinking that maybe I should have given him chockolates or roses, maybe that's why he got mad, maybe I didn't put in as much effort as I should have.
I am gonna skip Thursday's training session, I just can't bear to see him again anymore. But I don't know how I am gonna go through life now without seeing that smile. Those dimples. I am not sure if I can.
Take back that sad word good-bye
Bring back the joy to my life
Don't leave me here with these tears
Come and kiss this pain away
- Unbreak My Heart by Toni Braxton