Sunday, February 26, 2006

Last RT session

In the past I used to dread going to RT (Remedial Training), I always considered it a huge waste of time. But this year it was very different, I couldn't wait for each RT session to begin. My five readers probably know why. It's because of my buddy.

The last two months have been the happiest time of my life thanks to him. I never wanted it to end. But the day I been dreading for two months had arrived. It was the last day of RT.

It was just like any other RT session to the other hundred guys training in camp, but for me and my buddy it was different. We were both really quiet throughout our training sessions, so much so that the other guys kept wondering what was wrong with us - we always chatted and giggled to each other loudly on every other RT session.

After two hours it came to an end and we walked out of the camp slowly. The silence was killing me, so I decided to break it.

Me: You gonna be here next year right?
Buddy: I don't know, I might tried to pass my (physical fitness) test so that I don't have to come next year.
Me: (hurt) Why would you wanna do that?
Buddy: We can't keep doing this. This two months a year thing. It's better if we can pass and just move on with our lives. Can you imagine us coming back every year till we are 45?
Me: So are you saying I might not see you again?
Buddy: Yes.
Me: (Angrily) God I wish I knew how to quit you!
Buddy: (Walking away slowly) Bye buddy. It has been fun. But we both knew it wouldn't last. You take care.

I stood there silently and watched him walk away. I watched him till he was out of sight. Then a smile crept into my lips. I knew he will be back at Bedok Camp next year, I don't know how but I just knew. I turned around and walked back home. I was already counting the days to next year's RT.

Friday, February 24, 2006

Study shows masturbation isn't as good as sex.

I just love this kind of surveys that tells you stuff that everyone ALREADY know. Well to their credit, they did figure out the reason for it, apparently both release this hormone that makes you feel really satisfied, but sex releases a higher level of it. Yeah that's something for you to think about the next time you jerk off.

But doesn't matter how often you do it, it's never as good as the real thing is it? But sometimes that's all you have. Especially when you are broke. Or when someone you wanted to go away on a romantic getaway on Valentine's Day rejects you. It's all you have. Sigh.

Link: Sex Study

Listening to :
Crimes by Blood Brothers

Monday, February 20, 2006

Fans considering suing Aiken for being gay

Man this is funny. 9 former Claymates* are suing RCA and Sony BMG for "the marketing and promotion of Clay Aiken as a virginal, asexual character."

Yes, apparently these former fans are upset by the fact that Mr. Aiken did not publicly deny the recent allegations by a former US soldier about them having a one night stand in a hotel room, leading them to believe that the rumors could be true.

So basically they believed Aiken was virginal and asexual because he was marketed as such, and are now upset because they can no longer listen to his music without picturing him getting banged (no pun intended) by a soldier.

Personally I would rather be called gay than "asexual". "Asexual" sounds like I enjoy having sex with myself or something, which is technically not even possible (well at least not for me).

But seriously, there are just some things that are just so obviously gay that you have to be dumb not to know it. Clay Aiken is one of them. My new blog template is another. You don't need to point it out. Yes you know who you are.

*devoted Clay Aiken fans

Currently Listening To :
Determination by God Forbid

Sunday, February 19, 2006

I am a sweating freak magnet

Yep Dawn, apparently it isn't just you who attracts freaks. Was queuing up in camp today to register for my remedial training this morning when I noticed this pretty funky scent. I was sniffing around to see what it was when the guy in front of me turns around and goes "It's my singlet, I went for training yesterday and decided not to wash it since I am going to attend today's training."

I was completely mortified. It was completely disgusting just thinking of the fact that the shirt the guy was wearing was full of sweat from the previous day's training. Why didn't he just wear an extra shirt? Why was he telling me things I now wished I didn't know?

I instinctively backed away, for some reason the stench seemed extra pungent after he talked to me. But the ordeal didn't end there, the guy came forward and kept talking to me!

"Yeah it was because of the 2.4 km run yesterday, that's why I perspired so much. But it's ok, after an hour of training today everybody will smell like that, they won't even notice."

I nodded my head weakly in response. It felt like I was going to pass out. I prayed to God that he would stop talking and move away. But then something happened, a miracle that I would have never expected.

"Hey Bert, there you are! I was looking for you earlier!"

I turned around to see who it was. Yup you guessed it, it was my estranged army buddy. He had seen me in trouble and decided to rescue me. He flashed me his unforgettable dimply smile of his, and we started chatting like old friends. Stinky saw that I wasn't paying him attention any longer so he turned back.

Me and Army Buddy? We patched things up, and are again the best of friends. It's amazing how things work out isn't it. We told each other that no matter what happens we will never let anything destroy the special friendship we have.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

My V day experience

We went to watch Brokeback mountain, it was such a beautiful story. After that we had a really nice candlelight dinner at the restaurant. We talked, we laughed, it was the best Valentine's day I ever experienced.

That was what I was expecting to blog. But the reality is, like is usually the case, turned out rather ugly. I told him about the surprise I planned for him while we were in the gents, he was peeing away happily. I then waited for him to finish up and look at me, to see that smile on his face that would tell me how happy he was that I went to that much trouble.

He zipped his pants up and turned towards me. But there was no smile, just a really ugly scowl. Then he said something to me that I can't bear to repeat here. Very hurtful words they were. And with that he left, leaving me sobbing over the sink.

I don't get men. You do everything you can to please them, to let them know that you care a lot for them. But it is never enough for them, they never appreciate it. It's ironic in a way, with his actions he caused me so much pain that I felt as if my back had been broken. Just like the title of the movie. Yes it's a bit of a stretch but I am upset here dammit.

I spent the rest of my V day evening listening to Unbreak My Heart by Toni Braxton. I kept thinking that maybe I should have given him chockolates or roses, maybe that's why he got mad, maybe I didn't put in as much effort as I should have.

I am gonna skip Thursday's training session, I just can't bear to see him again anymore. But I don't know how I am gonna go through life now without seeing that smile. Those dimples. I am not sure if I can.

Take back that sad word good-bye
Bring back the joy to my life
Don't leave me here with these tears
Come and kiss this pain away

- Unbreak My Heart by Toni Braxton

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Getting hot and sweaty on V day

Yup just like last year, I will be in camp sweating it out with similarly unfit men. It's a good thing though, I have never been a fan of Valentine's Day. Overpriced flowers/chocolates/gifts and having to look nice, its just too much work for me.

But I will be going out for dinner that evening with this old army buddy of mine. We met on the first day of remedial training last month after almost 4 years of not seeing each other, and over the past few weeks of training together I realised how much I missed seeing him. He had this cute smile that used to light up my day when I was having a hard time back when we were serving National Service, and 10 years later he still has it.

Anyway I got it all planned out. We will be training in camp on Tuesday till 9 pm, after which I will surprise him with dinner at this fancy Italian restaurant called Al Forno at Katong. That will be followed by a midnight screening of Brokeback Mountain. Can't wait to see the look on his face when I surprise him, I bet he never expected me to do something like this for him. But yeah I definitely ain't gonna get any flowers or chocolates, that's just lame.

Friday, February 10, 2006

Singaporean Star Wars Short Film

Now I seen it all. Here's a Star Wars influenced short film, by one of our very own. I can't even begin to describe how weird it is to hear a Jedi Knight speaking in a Singaporean accent.

The opening scene is to die for, the acting reminds me of a porno. Only much worse. I half-expected the actress (and I use the term hesitantly) to strip at the end of the conversation.

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Thursday, February 09, 2006

What's the difference?

A friend was just telling me how how amazing she felt when her pet rabbit crawled up to her, placed its head on her lap and started licking her hand.

That got me wondering: Why don't women feel that way when I do the exact same thing to them?

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

My Future Bride: The First Phone Call

So I called my future bride yesterday night. I was nervous earlier in the day but I had prepared all these really funny anecdotes (mostly about my company servers) that I was sure would make her laugh so I was pretty sure it would go well.

So anyway around 9 last night I dialed her number with my trembling fingers. I heard the ringing tone. It went on for what seemed like an eternity, and then it got cut off! Yes she cut off my call!!

Words cannot express how upset I was at that moment. Here I was looking forward to hear the voice of the girl who was to be my wife, and I got cut off. I put down the phone and tried to control the tears from falling from my eyes.

Then I realized the truth, it was staring at me right in the face. Yes, she was cheating on me. Yes, she was probably talking to some other guy at that time, that was why she cut me off. Yes I know it's insane, it's hard to believe that she would cheat on me when we haven't even talked. But you know that gut feeling that tells you that your other half is cheating on ya? I feel it right now.

After much contemplation I have come to a decision. I am gonna call her tonight and confront her about her cheating ways. If she comes clean and begs for my forgiveness then I will consider taking her back. If she denies it then I will just tell her that I can't be with someone who cheats on me and end it there and then.

I will be alright, please don't worry about me. Betrayal is hard to take, but I will get through this.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

I might be getting married

Yep no kidding. Mom has been searching for a nice Indian girl for me to marry since my uncle tried to set me up with his friend's daughter last Christmas.

At first I was resistant to the idea, I felt like it was kind of embarrassing to be set up by your mommy, but then I starting thinking to myself; what if she turns out to be really hot, and besides you can never know too many women. So I was like "Sure, get me her number and I will give the chick a call and see how it goes.". You know, just for the fun of it, not that I am desperate or anything. I'm not dammit!

Anyway mom comes up to me as I was getting ready to leave for work yesterday and hands me this piece of paper really discretely. I looked at the paper and noticed a phone number and name on it. Yep she sure is efficient I have to give her that. I looked at her and she gave me this strange smile, like as if she knew something that I didn't. That got me a little nervous, I started thinking to myself, what if the gal turns out to be some kind of psycho or something?

So I am gonna wait a couple of days before I give her a call. Yup I'm playing hard to get, she ain't gonna get a piece of my fine ass that easily! But been thinking about what to say when I call her, maybe I should start off with "Hi, I am Gilbert, your future husband."? What do you think?

Monday, February 06, 2006

Indian Drama

That is what I would call what happened on Sunday. You see, it was my 1 3/4 year old niece's ear piercing ceremony. Yes for Indians, ear piercing is a pretty big deal so they have a ceremony to commemorate it. And the best part is that the uncle (that's me) is the most important person for this, as he has to hold the niece down while the ear piercing is taking place.

I was reluctant to do it to be honest as I really didn't believe in these customs, but after much persuasion from the mom and sis I finally relented. Fine they offered me cash as well alright. But I thought it was gonna be a pretty straightforward affair: I would hold her, while some guy uses the ear piercing gun on her, and it would be all over in a couple of minutes. I couldn't have been further from the truth.

So we were at this jewelry shop at Little India and I was instructed to hold my niece and sit on a chair there which I did promptly. Then the guy who is doing the piercing comes, but he wasn't holding the gun, he was holding a ear stud. That was when I realized that he was going to do it the old way. He quickly works my niece's right ear and he's done a few seconds after my niece starts feeling the pain. But when he started on the left ear my niece started going all crazy and flinging her tiny arms as if they were clubs to try and stop him. And then the damn earring stud broke as he was piercing her ear. And it must have been pretty painful because my niece started letting out this really loud ear-piercing scream.

K I know I should be concerned/upset by the fact that my niece was in agonizing pain, but when I saw my sis tearing up it just seemed so funny that I started laughing. Anyway as expected the other ear took much longer - the guy had to use pliers and remove the broken ear stud in my niece's ear, and then re-pierce it with a new stud. Finally it was done, and my niece was snatched away from my hands by my sister to be comforted.

I think it's safe to say that my niece will never again allow herself to be held by me, she now associates me with intense pain. Seriously the look she gave me as my sis comforted her was kinda creepy. It was like she was telling me with her eyes that she will one day take revenge for my act of betrayal that caused her so much pain. Kids are so cute aren't they?