Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Google Map for GoogleTalk users

If you are a Google Talk user, you could add yourself to this site map. I don't really use Google Talk to be honest, but the idea of having my name on a map of the world just seemed to cool to pass up.

Go to the site, scroll to Singapore and you will see yours truly. Isn't that like the coolest thing you ever seen??

Yes I know, I need a life.

N-gage just isn't engaging anyone

Remember all the hype and media buzz when N-Gage was released here? Well Nokia just killed the product after really horrid sales and the presence of much better mobile gaming alternatives (PSP anyone?).

I can still remember trying hard not to laugh every time I saw people trying to have a conversation using the phone, I couldn't believe how anyone could voluntarily let themselves look that stupid in public.

Link to story: No new N-Gages until 2007

Monday, November 28, 2005

Absurd Inventions

Found this hilarious website where you can find details of some of the worst patented inventions by Americans. A sample:

This is the baby cage, a nice contraception to protect a baby's fragile body from its parents in case they roll over in their sleep. Also provides the baby with the nice comfortable experience of being behind bars.

Another one of my favourites:

The "Bunny Syringe". A nice tool that rids kids of their fear of syringes. And introduces a fear of pink bunnies.

site | digg

Friday, November 25, 2005

Harry Potter In Space

Interesting article about how NASA beamed Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire to their astronauts in space, after one of the astronauts requested it. Not sure why the guy asked for that particular movie though, if it was me I would have asked for Backdoor Sluts 4 instead.

Speaking of the Goblet of Fire, did anyone find it as enjoyable as I did? I am asking because everyone I know thought it sucked and I can't fathom why. It was deliciously darker and more adult-oriented than the previous installments (some scenes kinda frightened me) and there was no more of those annoyingly kiddish elements that existed in the first two Potter movies. It did drag a little in the middle, but the climatic encounter between Potter and Voldermont was well worth the wait. The V man is one badass mutha******.

I am really looking forward to the next movie now, it will probably have some nudity and lots of blood and gore, judging by the way the series is progressing.

RAZR gets an upgrade, Nokia's iPod Killer

I been wanting to get the Motorola RAZR (my T610 seems hopelessly outdated now), but the limited memory and the crappy VGA camera put me off.

Well now there is more reason to wait, as Motorola just announced a new version of the phone to address those two shortcomings, the RAZR v3i which comes with a 1.2 megapixel camera and a micro-SD slot. Oh and it also comes with mobile iTunes.

But Nokia is also coming out with a new phone, the N91,dubbed the iPod killer, it will allow users to transfer songs to each other via Wi-Fi and Bluetooth. It will be released in the 1st quarter of 2006. It's all very exciting ain't it?

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Another excuse for guys not to use protection

Guys hate condoms. A lot of guys would rather risk contracting an incurable STD or an unplanned pregnancy than wear one. That is probably what prompted male scientists in china to come up with this contraceptive for women. Behold the Liquid Condom:

Yes, it is a foam based contraceptive that "forms a physical membrane inside the vagina, protecting it from infection"

Of course, the idea of spraying foam into their privates might not seem that appealing to women so the manufacturers are also marketing it as a feminine hygiene product; they claim "daily use of this product can help maintain genital hygiene and prevent infection by pathogens".

Click title of the post to read the article.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Daters blame Match.com for lack of success

Match.com is an online dating site where subscribers can view other people's profiles and contact them. Recently some subscribers filed a lawsuit against the service, claiming that Match.com employees went on dates with them just to ensure that they would continue subscribing to the service. You can read about it here.

Apparently some male subscribers got suspicious when they started meeting women on the site way out of their league who surprisingly agreed to go out with them. The women later stopped answering their repeated and frantic phone calls after one or two amazing dates.

Alright I am kidding, they didn't really say how they found out about the scam. But my point is maybe the subscribers suing the service just have problems accepting rejection? A lot of people find rejection hard to take. Me? I had so many that it's practically a hobby.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Japanese Hand Job

There are times when every guy wants someone else to give them a handjob, instead of having to do it themselves. Hell I know I do. Well you guys no longer have to worry because the solution is at hand: The Japanese Hand Job Machine!

Yes this nifty gadget is really useful for those sticky (no pun intended) situations when you are too tired to jerk yourself off, or just wanna experience the wonderful feeling of a rubbery hand around their member. It retails for around US$290, but can you really put a price on orgasms?

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How to evade your National Service(NS) liability

In Singapore, all males have to serve two years of National Service in the military upon reaching 18 years of age. Anyone who evades it is liable for a 5k fine and/or 3 years of jail term.

Recently there was this case of a 49 year old local who evaded his NS, went to England to study at the Royal College of Music and went on to become a famous pianist. He came back recently and was fined an amount "he cannot remember". He will be performing at the Esplanade next month. Compare that to a case in 1994, where a French citizen who evaded his NS was arrested, fined and made to perform 9 months of training.

So based on the above facts, this is how you can evade NS:

1. 5k
2. A world-class talent in any discipline (piano, painting, porn star, WWE wrestler)

Then simply return to Singapore once you are world-renowned and show remorse for evading your NS. Follow that by offering to perform in Singapore.

Damn it, if only I knew about this when I was 18. I would have evaded my NS and gone to US to be a porn star. With my 50 inch "talent" it would have only been a matter of time before I was world-renowned.

The news article about the case can be found here.

Monday, November 21, 2005

I don't get sushi

I just don't get what is so great about it. Went to this place called sakae sushi at Citylink yesterday for dinner with a couple of friends. They were happily gorging themselves on that salmon sashimi thingy. I tried a couple and ..well ....I guess it was alright - if you like your food bland with that unique uncooked taste!

Tried adding more wasabe(sp?) to give it more flavor, and I ended up crying my eyes out. And what's the deal with the expensive prices anyway? 3 pieces of raw salmon went for 6.50!! All the chef needs to do is cut the salmon, and for that he charges you two bucks a slice? Why aren't fishmongers tapping into this market? They could sell their regular raw fish but then have a special "sushi" section where they sell ...err... raw fish. Wait that doesn't make sense, they could just convert their entire stall into a sushi shop and sell "cookable" sushi.

Maybe it's an Indian thing, I am used to having my food with spices and some flavor, so just not used to food without either of them. But then again I do know some Indians who like sushi. Maybe it's just me.

Saturday, November 19, 2005

The end of in-camp

Yes I have just finished my 2 weeks of intensive, gruelling classroom training of in-camp training. It has been nothing short of an ordeal I tell ya, at one point I wasn't even sure if I would make it out in one piece.

Yes you might ask how gruelling classroom training could be, but let me tell you it's no child's play. Some days we were forced to watch really bad army movies for long periods of time. Other days they were so cruel that they only allowed us 1 hour lunch break instead of two; apparently the term "nap time" doesn't mean anything to those assholes.

I wish I could talk more about my training, but it's classified. Hell, even the head of our unit told us that his own wife doesn't know what he is doing. And that if one day she finds out he will be forced to kill her. It's THAT classified. So yeah unless you have a death wish do not ever ask me about my military training. If you do I might just have to use my highly classified "dragon's death blow" that I learnt last week. You have to be warned.

Anyway yesterday was the final day, and as we walked out of the gates a whole horde of people were waiting outside. Yes the wives and girlfriends of my fellow mates had gathered outside the camp to welcome them back. But of course there was no one waiting for me. So I walked away forlornly as everyone else kissed and hugged their wives and girlfriends. Maybe one day there will be someone waiting for me outside the camp.

I was in camp for the last weeks.
The food was so bad it made me sick.
What I learnt those two weeks is highly classified.
So much so that even to his wife my unit head had lied.
The days and night passed by torturous and slow
But at least I learnt the dragon's death blow.
Oh and I also found another source of joy
'Cos all around the camp were half-naked teenage boys

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Mom/Army Rants

Mom annoyed me again yesterday. One of my clothes fell off the pole and onto the pavement while she was drying them and she wanted me to go down and get them. I was doing some important research (fine was watching porn) on my PC at that time so I asked her to give me a quick sec. To which she said (in Tamil, but I'm translating) - "Please get them now before someone takes it, you are a good boy aren't ya?"

Arrgh I burn with anger every time she refers to me as a good boy. I am 27 and working and doing lots of other adult stuff (hookers, porn) but she is still calling me a boy! Fine, I still live with my parents, but that doesn't mean I ain't a man does it? I got so pissed that I pulled out a thong from my clothes drawer, wriggle it in front of her and asked her if she knows any "boys" who wear underwear as sexy as that. The look on her face was priceless, I don't think she would call me a boy anytime in the near future.

Satisfied with my victory, I then went downstairs to retrieve the clothing. Turns out it was my favorite pajamas, the one with the little Popeye faces on them. That got me feeling a bit guilty about what I did earlier, I would have been upset if someone had taken them. But hell she still shouldn't have called me a good boy.

Speaking of boys, I been seeing a lot of hunky, shirtless 18 year old boys recently. Yes I am been going back to army camp everyday for the past week for my reservist training. Hasn't been fun I tell ya. The food is really horrid (I have seen dog food that looked more appetizing) and having to get up at 5:30 in the morning everyday and traveling 3 hours a day just makes it more fun.

Oh and my old army uniform doesn't fit anymore as well, I had to leave the top button undone (it's button-fly) to get them on. I don't get it, would it kill the army to pay more for uniforms that don't shrink after a couple of years? Alright I know I should stop whining, it's unbecoming of a soldier.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

Britney's Hubby Raps!

You probably heard about this unless you been living under a rock, but there was recently a leaked mp3 of Kevin Federline (Britney's hubby) soon to be released single, Ya'll Ready. If you haven't heard it, go get a clip of the single here. It's not the entire song, but I doubt anyone in their right mind would want to hear the entire song.

He is so bad that he makes Vanilla Ice sound like Tupac. He is so bad that I think it could just be a prank played on him, that someone else made that god-awful song and put the blame on him just to get some laughs. Really, no one this bad would be allowed to make a single, let alone an album. Or would they?

Credit: Link to the clip was taken from The Superficial.

Friday, November 04, 2005

Loss of Humor Explained

More than one person has commented to me that my entries have lost their sense of humor. And hell even I have to agree, so I decided to explain why. Disclaimer: If you are a staunch Christian read no further.

I have recently gained an interest in extreme metal bands. I been listening to bands whose names include Carcass, Death, Rotting Christ, Pig Destroyer etc. And after listening to the abovementioned bands I have realized the truth - that life isn't that funny after all. In fact it downright sucks. There is no God, there is only the Dark One aka Satan, the guardian of all metal bands, and to him alone I answer.

I don't even know why I bother living anymore. I am probably gonna die a lonely and miserable anal virgin anyway, if I am lucky enough not to be murdered or run over by a bus in the near future. And the same fate probably is waiting for you too. You know it.

So yeah don't expect anymore funny posts from me. Instead look forward to reading about how I torch rabbits and kittens as well as performing other despicable acts in the near future

K now most of you probably think I lost my marbles, so I urge you all to go check out the abovementioned bands before you judge me. I am willing to bet one headless chicken that you will be as enlightened as I am now after listening to them.

I have also changed my dressing to reflect my new sense of being. Check out my new look:

Me out camping in the woods

For more pictures like these, please go here

Thursday, November 03, 2005

A friend I introduced to Last.fm

An MSN chat I had earlier :

--Start of Chat --

Jixuan says:
actually i really love last fm

P Android says:
and who do you have to thank for it ?

Jixuan says:
huh? no idea

P Android says:
you know. the person who intro you to it?

Jixuan says:

P Android says:
didnt you just say "you really love last fm"?

Jixuan says:

Jixuan says:
yawnz damn tired

P Android says:
Jixuan says:
actually i really love last fm

P Android says:
thats what you said

Jixuan says:

P Android says:
was that you ?

P Android says:
answer me!!!!

Jixuan says:
ya la ya la

-End of Chat--

Sigh people forgot so easily what others do for them, it's sad that I have to constantly remind them.