Friday, July 29, 2005

An encounter with an older woman

I was walking back home a couple days ago when I noticed this rather mature woman staring at me. Yup it's pretty strange but ever since I got my facial I been getting looks from more people, especially cute Indian waiters and older women. But still it was nice to be ogled at (wonder why women complain about this all the time), even if the ogling isn't from my preferred demographic.

So I kept walking and I noticed the woman picking up speed as if trying to catch up to me. I started to get a little worried, what if she turned out to be some acid throwing stalker? So I instinctively covered my face with my right hand and walked faster, but her footsteps also quickened. Then suddenly I heard my name being called. I turned around and realized that she was the Indian lady from the adjacent block, we exchange pleasantries once in a while (it's an Indian thing to acknowledge each other even if you don't know each other) but that's it.

Me: Hi Auntie. What's up?
Auntie: Been looking for you. Would you come to my house ....and....and check on my daughter's computer? It's down.

I looked into her eyes, and immediately we both knew that was not all she wanted me to do.

Me: So...Is that what they are calling IT nowadays?
Auntie: Sorry?

Ah she was playing coy. I started pondering, it has been a while since I got some. And she wasn't really that bad looking. Alright you know what, looks don't really matter to me anymore. Like they say, desperate people do desperate things.

Me: Alright, I will play your little game. Let's go back to your place.
Auntie : Errr..ok..thanks.

So she lead me to her apartment. She told me to head into her daughter's room while she fixed me a drink. I thought it was a bit disturbing to do it in her daughter's room but hey, whatever rocks her boat. So I went in and sat on the bed.

A couple minutes later she came in with my drink and ..switched on the PC.

Auntie: See? The damn thing doesn't boot up! Err why are you sitting on my daughter's bed?

K alright so I made a mistake. But it was an honest one, how was I supposed to know that she really wanted me to fix her daughter's computer?

Sunday, July 24, 2005

More on skin care

I can't believe people actually thought I paid 120 for a facial! Obviously I ain't that crazy to pay that kinda money for a facial, it only cost me 60, the other 60 I spent on a facial kit for men. As TY mentioned in my last entry's comment section, the problem with facials (and I am sure most guys out there will agree) is that you are prone to pimple breakouts after you gone for one. This used to frustrate me always, but now thanks to the skin kit it isn't a problem anymore.

Basically the skin kit consists of a cleanser, facial scrub, shaving gel, moisturizer and a medicated clearing gel. I especially love the clearing gel, you put it on at night before you sleep and it regulates oil production from your face to prevent those nasty pimple breakouts. It has worked wonders for me so I highly recommend it. And if you get it within the end of this month you get these 2 really cute teddy bears for free! Aren't they like the cutest bears you ever seen?

Went to Brewerkz with a male friend last Friday on a man date (because we were both kinda in a dating slump). It was going pretty well, until this Indian waiter started trying to chat us up. You know the type - the typical Indian guy who's charming, cocky, talks a lot of crap and probably thinks he's god's gift to women. He kept trying to engage us in small talk, asking us whether we will going clubbing after dinner, where we were working etc.

It got pretty annoying after a while, I was wondering why the hell would he wanna chat up two guys. I mean if he was a cute waitress chick then I wouldn't have mind. But then again I wasn't too surprised, been having the worst luck with women recently, it's been quite distressing. Yes I am looking for sympathy here. And to make the evening worse, I asked my friend if he saw any difference in my complexion and he said no, that totally killed my mood that night. But then again it was pretty dark in the restaurant.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

I love facials

Last 2 days of work were sucky. Which was why I went for a nice relaxing facial after work yesterday. Hey I deserve to be pampered once in a while alright; besides the pores on my face got pretty clogged up after being exposed to the polluted air in Indonesia last week.

And I am glad I went for it, it was a really relaxing two hours, the girl who attended to me was pretty good with her hands. In fact she was so good that I almost dozed off while she massaged my face. Now my face feels really clean and oil-free, and everyone who saw me today was telling me how amazing I look and how my face had this really radiant glow. Yup that was definitely 120 dollars well-spent.

Can't wait to go back.

Saturday, July 16, 2005

Back to Singapore

Ha it's kinda cute, I walked to the lounge to use the computer when I noticed something different. The sign. It said 15,000 Rp for an hour; it used to say 15,000 for unlimited usage. I am wondering if it had anything to do with me using the PC for 4 hours yesterday (hey it was raining outside alright). Sigh no more downloading porn anymore. Those cheapskate bastards.

I will be on my flight back home tomorrow morning. I say this with a heavy heart. Yes I do not wanna leave this island paradise that I wish I could call home. The people here have accepted me with open arms as one of their own. They have helped me when I needed help (for a token sum). Now I know how it feels to let go of something you love with all your heart. I love you Indonesia. And I will be back someday.

I am a little apprehensive about going back though. What if it had changed during my time away? What if the people I know are no longer there? K that's a bit far-fetched but what if THEY had changed and I no longer recognize them? Or maybe I was the one who had changed, what if I had become a different person from the one my parents knew before I left? Would they still be willing to accept me back?

I guess I will know the answer tomorrow. Wish me luck.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Day 5 in Jogja

Despite my mostly enjoyable stay at the Hotel Inna Garuda I have one really huge complaint when it comes to security and it pissed me off pretty badly.

I have administrator privileges on this computer that I am typing on right. Yes, ADMINISTRATOR privileges, can you believe that? Neither could I at first, so you can imagine how shocked I was when I realized it. It basically means I can trash the whole computer and no one would be able to stop me. Or even worse, I could write a virus and screw the whole machine up.

Proper IT practice dictates that a guest account should be created for normal users so that they will not be able to compromise the system, accidentally or otherwise. It's just amazing how these people can let something like this happen. I tried telling the hotel staff about their huge security breach but they just looked back at me with blank stares, they were like blind sheep unable to see the huge chasm in front of them despite my rantings.

So I did what little I could. I updated their virus scan files. Also installed Java on the computer. All this on a slow as hell connection mind you. Fine I installed Java because I needed a way to check my bank account online but seriously it's insane not to have Java on any machine, my colleagues would probably laugh like crazy if they heard about this. I was gonna install other stuff like Ad-aware and update their Internet Explorer but I decided I had already done enough, hell they should be paying me for this.

But other than this huge security flaw the hotel is pretty reasonable, so don't let my experience dissuade you from staying here.

Oh went to this club called Hugo yesterday night, but didn't have a great time. You know, there are times when I wish I was a girl. This was one of them. It was ladies night and they were handing out free tequila shots to women all night around, and despite my attempts at trying to convince the bartender that I was a really good looking butch he didn't buy it. Damn my manly looks. And drinks here are really expensive, we are talking ten bucks a glass. I had a double shot of bourbon and it cost me 20 dollars.

Yup so didn't have as much fun as I could have if I got a little wasted. The thing about me is I dance like a prick if I ain't high. Fine I dance like a prick as well when I am high but at least I would be too wasted to care.

Alrighty then , hope you people are having fun working while I am holidaying here. Over and out. Going shopping for underwear now, I realized I only brought 4 pairs.

Here's the stallion, reporting from Jogja.
That's in Indonesia, from Singapore it ain't that far.
It was ladies night at Hugo, they were handing out free tequilas.
I stood there all sober while ladies all around me got high real fast.
Drinks were pretty ex, it was 10 dollars a pop
I am kinda broke right now, otherwise I would have kept on drinking, I wouldn't stop.

Fine that was a sucky rhyme but I ain't got time to think of a nice one. Later.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005


One thing that very few people know about me is my artistic ability. Yes, yours truly used to dabble in the fine arts of drawing and painting when I was younger. One of my favorite pastimes was to freeze frame porn clips and then draw out the scene on my little sketch pad. I did wanna draw using a live subject but most of the girl friends I asked reacted in disgust, some even went to the extent of asking their boyfriends to make sure I never bothered them again.

It's just so hard being an artist in Singapore, people here are so close minded when it comes to nudity . The human body has always intrigued me with its natural beauty, its curves and its arches, I only wanted to show that to other people. But after numerous beatings/spitting from women and their boyfriends, my passion for it totally faded.

Until I saw this post by milktea asking for artwork from her readers. Immediately I felt something deep inside of me, a spark being rekindled from the ashes of my passion for art. I decided I would draw once again.

So I went to Artpad and started working on my masterpiece. Five hours later, it was complete. I was proud of it, despite the years of inactivity it was pretty obvious I had not lost my touch. I sent it to her, not expecting anything in return - it was my gift to her, for reminding me of the joys I had missed from painting.

SO you can imagine my surprise when it appeared as one of her favorites. You can click the link and see the drawing if you want to. I had not expected it as I figured she would probably not appreciate my masterpiece due to her lack of artistic knowledge but I was pleasantly proven wrong. Well her knowledge of art isn't THAT amazing to be honest, considering she chose someone else's drawing over mine as her favorite, but really it doesn't matter because I never expected anything in return in the first place.

So thank you Milktea. And Happy Birthday.

Monday, July 11, 2005

In Jogyakarta

Sawadika ! This is the Stallion reporting you live from the Inna Garuda hotel in Jogyakarta (or Jogja) with an ancient Pentium III computer running Windows 98. I was gonna plug in my camera and upload pictures for ya but it ain't possible with Windows 98.

Firstly, it was a pretty traumatic flight. I had to take a connecting flight in Jakarta from Singapore, but the problem was when I reached Jakarta it was 7:30, my flight to Jogja as at 8. I had to re-check in with my luggage and by the time I got my luggage it was like 7:50. By that time they were already calling for all remaining passengers so I started to panic and ran around looking for the departure hall, but I couldn't find it.

So there I was, all alone and scared in Jakarta and about to miss my flight; it was all too much for me and I began to realise that my eyes were starting to water. But thanks to God's grace I was saved, this nice Indonesian woman who saw me sobbing at one corner, and she took me to the departure hall. I was thinking about how nice she was to help me till she asked me for money. Gave her Singapore 2 dollars and rushed in. The rest I will not go into detail here, but think of Amazing Race and how they run around in the airport and you get the general picture. I was so late they didn't even allow me to check in my huge ass luggage, I had to bring it to the plane. But yeah I finally managed to catch it.

But that was the only glitch, been having a great time so far. Yesterday visited the world's biggest Buddhist temple, the one I talked about in my previous post. It's pretty amazing. The entire temple is made up of volcanic bricks stacked up against each other, without any cement or anything to hold them together. Which means you can actually push the bricks and it will move. And the amazing thing is the volcano is like 3 or 4 kilometers away so you can imagine the effort needed to move the rocks for such a huge temple.

Another amazing thing is the buddha statues. The lower part of the temple are full of buddha statues. As you go higher up , they are enclosed in a dome with little openings in them. Finally when you reach up to the top, there is a single huge Buddha statue that is completely enclosed, as you can't even see it. The significance, according to a friend of mine, is that they represent different stages of enlightenment. In the lower parts of the temple Buddha is susceptible to outside influences. In the mid-levels he is more enlightened and therefore less susceptible to outside influences (represented by the dome). Finally when he reaches enlightened he is completely blocked from any external forces. Pretty cool ain't it. Will upload pictures as soon as I find a terminal with Windows XP.

Oh guess who is staying at the same hotel as me. Yes it's Nethia. As soon as she saw me she recoiled in horror and said something about me "invading her space". Like hello, there is such a thing called coincidence. Apparently she's there on a school trip, like how was I supposed to know about that? It's not as if I would call the university she's from and enquire about the flight dates and the hotels that she would be staying at. She complained to the hotel staff , but the most they could do was to put me on a different level.

Anyway that's about it from me. I miss you all (ya right). Will probably blog in another couple of days. Right now I am heading off to the red light district flea market and see if I can get cheap stuff.

Friday, July 08, 2005

Holiday! Celebrate!

Yes one more day, and I will be in Yogyakarta. Mom is understandably apprehensive about me travelling alone. She wanted to invite her church friends over and perform a farwell mass to pray for my safety, but I managed to talk her out of it, thank God. But she did make me swear at our family altar not to go near young boys or sleazy women while I am there. Sigh, you make one mistake (fine two) in the past and they will never let you forget it. And sleazy is such a general word isn't it? What might seem sleazy to her might not be sleazy to me.

Anyway it's not only about women, I am also really looking forward to going to see Borobudur, which is apparently the largest Buddhist temple in the world. There are also a lot of other cultural and historical places of interest that I am going to check out, as well as a go karting place if it's cheap enough.

K on to other news.

Read a very interesting article on Live 8 which I really have to agree with. Did that concert really help anyone besides those who performed (by giving them a whole lot of free publicity) ?

Oh and if you ever heard the album Frances the Mute by prog band Mars Volta, read this extremely funny review. Hey I love them to death, but they did go a little overboard on that album, even for that genre.

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Special Price, My Brown Ass

Went to Queensway Shopping Centre with the sis yesterday to shop for new clothes. I been in real need of a change of wardrobe due to the fact that my bulging stomach muscle has rendered most of my clothing useless.

Got myself 3 pairs of jeans and 3 shirts, all in all it was a good shopping experience, I was able to find clothes my size rather easily yesterday, which is one of the biggest problems I usually face that make me hate shopping. But had this pretty funny encounter at one the shops. I was going to buy on buying this funky polo T-shirt and this shiny ah-beng jeans (for Mambo nights at Zouk), but I was also very keen on this other pair of jeans that really accentuated my long legs and showed off my perky bum. But buying all of them would set me back $130 so I tried to get her to bring down the price.

Sis: Can give cheaper, our budget is only around 100. How about 115.
Saleslady: K...I give you special price. But you cannot tell anyone alright. *Starts pressing on her calculator furiously* I can give you a dollar off both jeans. So I give you everything for.....128 dollars!

WTF , she gives a two freaking dollars discount "specially for me" and she wants me to keep it a secret? Ya I am sure if I tell people about it they would all rush down and demand her generous two dollar discount. Miserly patronizing bitch. I was getting a bit irritated by this time so ....

Me: It's ok I will just get the beng jeans and the polo T then.
Saleslady: Oh..then the other one?
Me: (Super cool demeanor) Can't afford it. It's alright, wasn't that keen on it anyway.
Saleslady: Wait wait...let me talk to my boss first.

Boss comes over and tells me that he will give me that price, eventhough it is the first time he has ever given such a big discount. Ya RIGHT, and I have a small dick. But he warns me not to tell people about it, or there will be grave consequences, like I will never be offered two dollar discounts ever again.

So after all the drama, I got my 2 jeans and funky polo T for 115 dollars.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Paul Gilbert

K I don't normally do this but it's for a really good friend so just check out the following event.

A 2 day non-stop party in the heart of Singapore, Suntec City Convention Hall! Get into the groove and set the mood for the biggest dance party on the 15 & 16 July 2005 with the RESIDENT DJs from MINISTRY OF SOUND, LONDON.

Also catch one of the best guitarists in the world, PAUL GILBERT (Mr. Big, Racer X) and his band on his Space Ship One World Tour Live in Singapore on 16 July 2005.
*Special Lunch Date Package with Paul Gilbert on 17 July 2005 also available. Please contact Swee Lee Music Company or Loud Entertainments for purchase details!

This is one party you definitely wouldn't want to miss! Brought to you for the first time in Singapore. Mark down your
diary and JOIN US at Vibes ClubFest 05! See You there!

TICKETS ON SALE NOW AT ALL SISTIC OUTLETS ISLANDWIDE! CALL SISTIC AT TEL: 6348 5555 or log on to for your ticket purchases!

Click on the following link for online ticket purchases: Buy tickets

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Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Can't wait till Saturday

Yes I'm off for a well-deserved holiday in Indonesia, will be going to Jogyakarta for a week. Work has been really sucky for a while now, and I been spending the whole week compiling applications for Solaris 10 x86, which is much less fun than it sounds.

But before I go to Indonesia I just wanna say thanks to everyone who supported me during the really tough period I went through a week ago. Yes some mean anonymous guy hurt my feelings by telling me that he didn't find me funny, that I was " adolescent, derivative" and didn't have a "good turn of phrase".

It really affected me in a bad manner, more than I would care to admit. The truth is I actually have pretty low self-esteem, and there are few things about myself that I am proud of - there's my 50 inch dick, my boyish good looks and my sense of humor ...and that's about it. So it upsets me when someone demeans one of those qualities. It got to a point where I even contemplated stopping this blog.

But with the support of my friends, family and readers I managed to overcome this ordeal and I am stronger for it. So I just wanna thank you people out there for your support, you gave me strength with your kind words and encouragement, even if I don't know most of you in person. And if there is anything I can do to help you in return just say the word (priority given to hot chicks).

God bless you all.

Sunday, July 03, 2005

Damm you army

I had been notified 6 months earlier that I would be undergoing 1 week of reservist army training for the week of July 4th so I have been training hard to prepare for it. Really hard. Been watching movies like Band of Brothers, Saving Private Ryan, Army Girls Gone Wild and whatever army movie I could find to psyche myself up. I also been leopard-crawling and marching around my house, all so that I would be ready when the training starts.

But yesterday all my efforts came to naught. A lady from my unit's HQ department called me to inform me that I don't have to attend the reservist training because I had to go for another pre-requisite course first. I asked her why she waited till 2 days before the training to inform me. She started laughing hysterically for the longest time, and then said "Don't you know how the army works, fool? Do you even need to ask?"

So that's that. I have to wait till November to go for that course. Kinda disappointed because I was really looking forward to it, to taking orders from people on an ego trip, to eating crappy canteen food, to sleeping with 20 other men in the same room, to wearing my old uniform which looks more like a tank top thanks to my bigger ...err..muscles.

Damn you army.