Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Why I am screwed up. (Hint: Parents)

It was my cousin's wedding last Sunday. Anyway my dad has this annoying/psycho habit when it comes to weddings. He insists on being there early. But not early like as punctual early. It's more of insane early, like 1 1/2 hours before the wedding. So the wedding reception starts at 7:30 and psycho dad wanted to be there by 6 pm. Of course as a kid I used to be forced to follow his wishes and go along with it.

I still remember those days, when I would just stare at the empty tables around us and watching people streaming in, wondering how they could be so rude to actually come just on time or late, rather than "early" like us. Yup thanks to daddy I thought that it was normal to be at weddings hours before they begin. Yup now you know why I always seem a bit off. And why lateness pisses me off.

Fast forward to the present. I am now a grown man, capable of resisting parental mental screwing. I told myself I would no longer submit meekly to Dad's insanity. So I told mom that I would leave at 6:45 and she could go with me if she wanted to. She agreed, saying that she was sick of waiting as well.

It was a hot day, so I decided to take a short nap. When I woke up it was 6 pm. I woke up and walked to the hall groggily. The hall was empty. Checked my parent's room. No one was there as well. I figured mom probably went to the provision shop, so I waited for her to come back. 5 minutes crawled by. Then 10 minutes. Then 30 minutes. And then it dawned on me. Mom did not go to the provision shop. She had left with my dad. She had lied to me, she never had any intention to go with me to the wedding.

I dropped to the floor. I was shocked at my mom's betrayal. Tears started falling from my face. I tried to make them stop, but they just wouldn't. Finally after what seemed like an eternity they did. I knew that the wedding had to go on, so I picked myself up, got dressed and left for the wedding. When I got there, I looked for the table where my parents were and sat beside my mom. Mom dared not look at me. There was a long and uncomfortable silence as we both waited for the bride and groom to arrive. Finally I spoke...

Me : So what's the prize?
Mom: (confused) What prize?
Me : You mean you didn't know? It's customary to give a prize to the earliest guests at a wedding! Maybe they forgot ..should I go ask them?
Mom: (Hangs head in remorse)

Sometimes I don't know why I even bother. I was planning on buying her a blender for Mother's Day next week, but she can forget about it now. Sometimes it doesn't pay to be filial I tell ya.

23 comments:

  1. *Guilt ridden*
    I m sorry Bert. For making you wait 5 mins the other time. And laughing at you when u showed ur pissed off face. I didnt know back then. I didnt know the reason why u were so anal about being on time. Now i know it wasnt your fault, and i m feeling guilty. Sorry Bert.
    *wipes corner of left eye*

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  2. u mean there's such a thing as going early to an indian wedding? woweee.....

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  3. Thugchic: It's ok. You are forgiven.

    TRA : It was not an Indian wedding.

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  4. U very drama leh! ;) Have u considered taking up acting?

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  5. in any case - any wedding isn't worth going early for. ok except maybe a malay void deck wedding - go, whack the bryani, run. hahahahah!

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  6. Your MOM stood you up?

    That's cold.

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  7. Eh, you want to attend the wedding so much?

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  8. for once, i feel your pain..my childhood was traumatized by grandmother wantin to go 1 and a half hour early for every indian weddin..maybe there really is a prize...sigh

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  9. Nethia said: maybe there really is a prize...

    Maybe there really is, and maybe thats why your mum went.. can you blame her if you're giving her blenders for presents? :D

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  10. You have a riveting web log and undoubtedly
    must have atypical & quiescent potential for
    your intended readership. May I suggest that
    you do everything in your power to honor
    your Designer/Architect as well as your audience.
    Please remember to never restrict anyone's
    opportunities for ascertaining uninterrupted
    existence for their quintessence.

    Best wishes for continued ascendancy,
    Howdy
    Editor

    'Thought & Humor'
    Cyber-Humor & Cyber-Thought
    http://ilovehowdy.blogspot.com/
    Harvard Humor Club
    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Harvard_Humor_Club/

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  11. Come on..............Its only natural your mum will wish to go to a wedding with your dad. Isnt this an Indian custom?

    Forgive her plzzzz

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  12. You are one drama mama....

    Don't bluff lah. You just trying to weasel out of buying that blender right?

    Confess! Confess!

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  13. Yan : Drama? You think my life is a drama ? How dare you!

    Adildo: K .... glad to see that you know the true meaning of weddings. :)

    Dawn: It was. it's hard to know who to trust anymore.

    Twit: It was my cousin, of course I wanted!

    Nethia: Yes, that's why I asked her?

    Maria: Hey it was the RX5000, a state of the art blender. If I was her I would have loved that gift. It like blends things in a second. And its practically noiseless.

    Thought and Humor:

    I hereby honor my designer and audience. The rest of your comment I didn't really understand. I am but a humble indian boy from the slums of Bedok, hence my knowledge of the English language is restricted to simple words.

    Anonymous : It is NOT an indian wedding!!

    Jaywalk: Why would I? She needs it to make me better food. Currently she doesnt really blend stuff very well so sometimes I can't even eat it.

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  14. omg you're horrible..

    maybe yr dad psycho-ed her into going with him instead of waiting for you? or maybe since you took a nap she thought u gonna fly her aeroplane!!! *gasp*

    anyway, a BLENDER?? u can do much better than that..come on...

    =P

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  15. i hate perpetual latecomers as well.

    because they dont give a shite about the people they keep waiting.

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  16. Our fathers must be related. My father has been obsessive about finding an off-the-rack suit for my sister's wedding in September. If my wedding is any indication, he'll want to be at the church 3 hours before the priest shows up.

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  17. Hahaha so funny!!! For my fam, Ive to hurry my folks always... because usually we are LATE! ...but over the years, we kind make it on time... being too early will also make us look kiasu right.. next time if the wedding is 7.30. 7.15 is a good time.. cus the dinner usually starts at 8.30 and the couple walk in at 8pm~ yay! and do buy yr momi a big pressie for being early.. make her happy!

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  18. She must have reasons for her actions. Buy her the RX5000 lah. It's Mother's Day.

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  19. Hecate : Stop making excuses for that woman !!! She has sinned and now she must pay!

    Stoned Nerd: I'm not so bothered by the latecoming, rather than the fact that they don't tell you that they are gonna be late.

    Chutney: Well you can say hes just excited abt your sister's wedding, its a good thing in a way. :)

    SuspiciousB: I read your comment and ....it's a bit creepy.

    SPG: 15 min early is fine. 1 1/2 hrs is just weird. :)

    lancerlord : I will prob downgrade to RX150.

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  20. after reading this story, I conclude your mother is great. She can make you cry just because of a wedding. :)

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  21. Tea : Yep shes great alright, great at torturing me mentally.

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  22. I hope you make this entry into a tamil movie.
    The crying and dropping on the floor bit can cover at least 30 mins of the 3 hours. Good luck!

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