Saturday, April 30, 2005

What really happened..

Nethia's account of Wednesday's events was surprisingly milder than I had expected. For example, she did not mention the fact that I spat a piece of beef onto her arm while trying to talk with my mouth full. I would have bet my (anal) virginity that she would have done so. Hmm maybe I am turning her into a nicer person.

But yeah so we had 2 jugs and 2 pints of beer at Brewerkz and it seemed to be going on pretty well, at least compared to the last 2 non-dates. But then she started yawning like every other minute at one point, as I was telling her about my company's financial performance the last couple of years as well as other interesting facts. And she felt the need to point out that she never felt so sleepy while she was out with other guys. So in desperation I started turning on my stallion charms and invited her back to my office nearby to see a few of the hundred thousand dollar servers we had there, I was pretty sure that would impress her and stop the yawning. But amazingly she wasn't the least bit interested. Women, I never get them.

She then suggested going down to Mohd. Sultan. K the truth is I haven't been clubbing in a long long while, my days of being wild are so far back that I can't even remember them. But I didn't wanna seem like a wet blanket so I acted all cool and told her "Why not? Let's head down there and rock the joint" while doing some three finger sign with my right hand. She then told me she suddenly realize that she forgot that she had an exam tomorrow so she couldn't go, but I wouldn't take no for an answer, so in the end we went.

We ended up at Cheeky Monkeys and by the end of the night both of us were completely wasted. Can't remember much of it, except this one proud moment where she was so impressed by my patented robot dance during the Beastie Boys' song Intergalactic that she moved back just so she could admire my skills. Eventhough she did move a little too far away from me than I thought was necessary.

I felt alright till I got into the cab on the way back home, and then suddenly I started puking and it all went blurry from that point onwards. Remember bits of Brewerkz beef over my shirt and in the plastic bag. Reached home. Remember SMSing her to check that she got back home but no reply. Remember stumbling into the toilet. Remember falling to the bathroom floor. Remember calling her while lying on the floor. Remember praying that mom would NOT wake up and see her beloved son lying on the floor of the bathroom. Remember her not answering my call. Remember puking 2 more times.

Next morning she told me that I had left her a voice message where I puked continuously for 4 minutes. Yup this was not one of my finer moments. Sigh. Strike 3. I'm out.

I don't know if it's fate.
But Nethia and I went out on our 3rd non-date.
We first headed down to Brewerkz
And I tried hard not to look down her dress in case she called me a jerk.
I tried to impress her with tales of my company's expensive servers.
But she wasn't too impressed, sometimes I really don't get gals.
Anyway we ended up at Cheeky Monkeys
I realised I was the oldest guy there as far as I could see.
A lot of alcohol and both of us got pissed drunk.
I could tell she was really wasted cos she started calling me a hunk.
All in all it ended pretty well I was thinking,
But that was before she told me about the voice message with me puking.

Friday, April 29, 2005

My logo rules (and so does Jaywalk)

A big shoutout to Jaywalk, who made this really spiffy logo for me (it's at the end of each entry), probably because he couldn't stand my whining. Yup I was jealous that he made Nethia a banner of her own so I started complaining and whining on her blog about how women get all the luck when it comes to getting help from men. But no one cared, or so I thought.

So you can imagine my surprise when I checked my mail yesterday and saw this pretty cool logo thingy with my nick on it. I always wanted one of my own but my Photoshop skills are comparable to an infant's so never got around to it.

So thanks a lot dude, for giving me something which I will treasure for a long time to come. I love ya dawg. And I mean that in the macho-est, non-gay way ever.

Speaking of Nethia, we went out on our 3rd (non-)date on Thursday, I asked her out because I felt guilty about for not warning her of my Tourette's syndrome on our 2nd (non-)date. After the disasters of the last 2 (non-)dates, I was pretty adamant that we would never go out again. But then again she's hot as hell so I was like, screw it I will give it one more shot. Nah I am kidding she's actually rather smart too, that's the only reason I decided to give us one more chance. Come on, I ain't that shallow alright.

To cut a long story short, the (non-)date ended with me lying on a bathroom floor puking my brains out. But I am a gentleman, so I will let her blog about it first before I pick apart her almost certainly going-to-be falsified account of that day's events and tell you what REALLY happened. Stay tuned.

p.s. "(non-)" was inserted in front of the word "date" by request of Nethia.

Thursday, April 28, 2005

Bloody Bimbo Superficial Stewardess Bitch

Had a very unpleaasant incident last Saturday. Was out at Siglap with a couple of friends at this pub, just chilling out like we cool people do, and she invites her stewardess friend along as well as 2 other guys from the airline industry.

They started talking about their work which was kinda boring the crap outta me, so I brought up the topic of the teens wearing the expensive gear. And I was saying that if I paid 1 grand for the jeans I would be so scared of getting it dirty that I will only wear it at home.

To that the stewardess replied "Then what's the point? No one would see it!"

I was tempted to pat her on the head and explain to her I was obviously kidding but decided not to, in case I damage what little brain cells she had. Fine it's a bit cruel, maybe she doesn't get humor very well, it's no crime. But it ain't as cruel as what she did later.

She then asked who was older, me or my friend.(Yup the conversations that day were really the intellectually stimulating sort). I replied that my friend was older than me by a year. To which she exclaimed "But you look so much older! And you have a paunch! Is that fats or a beer belly?", pointing to my extremely tiny paunch.

I was shocked and completely taken aback. Like hello you meet someone for the first time and you immediately find it ok to point out their (very minor) physical flaws? I would have replied "Ya , well you have no boobs at all but I didn't think you are a teen." but I didn't because I was too hurt and shocked. I forced back my tears that I felt welling up in my eyes and just laughed, trying to hide the pain that I was really feeling at that point. People can be so mean.

But I have decided that because of this incident I will no longer date stewardesses. Yup I am sorry to any who are reading but my mind is made up so don't bother trying to change it.

Monday, April 25, 2005

Street Fashion rules teenagers

Was reading in the papers on Friday about teens who pay exorbitant prices for clothing like T-shirts and jeans. We are not talking 100 to 200 dollars here, but rather insane prices like $1,300 dollars for a pair of jeans.

Yes I am not kidding. A cool grand for a pair of jeans. Apparently the clothing are all part of a "street fashion". Street as in totally underground ( just like the hip hop I listen to) and therefore cool. I don't get it, but it's probably because I am probably too uncool. The most expensive thing I paid for (as far as I can remember) was my camera, and that was 600 dollars. And even that I mulled over for like 2 months before I finally got it.

But hey I ain't saying it's wrong, if you buying that kinda stuff with your hard earned pay then I say buy whatever you want, it's your right. But these are teenagers who probably get the money for these "cool" clothes from their parents. So I guess I can't blame them. I blame the parents. For giving their kids anything and everything they want without thinking what the consequences are. For spoiling those brats so much that they don't know the value of money. The article does say though that some of the teens work part time for several months to save up for those clothes, those at least get my respect, even if I disagree with their priorities.

Check out the "gear" (I think that's the cool word) worn by this teenager that cost him a total of $2,979.

A Bathing Ape T-Shirt : $400
Neighbourhood jeans : $1200
A Bathing Ape trainers: $900
Bounty Hunter dog tag : $139
Bounty Hunger wrist band : $90
Supreme haversack : $250
Knowing the value of money : Priceless

Oh I just found out a new way to get out of paying for my food and drinks. Just get my friends to pay for it first when the bill comes, and then after that just ask them "Must pay ah?" and 9 out of 10 times they waive it. It's really cool so try it, really handy when you are running low on cash.

Yo yo check it
While Grandmaster G rhymes to the tropical beat
I really can't stand the kids nowadays
They think cheap clothes will make them lose face
As hard as I try I simply can't imagine,
Paying a cool grand for a pair of jeans
With that kind of money I know what I will buy,
A brand new PC, now that would be pretty fly.
But maybe that's why at my high school prom I never got a dance
Could it be because I was the only guy wearing pants from 2nd Chance?

Saturday, April 23, 2005


I started this blog mostly for myself, as an outlet for creative expression. I never expected to influence anyone with my ramblings, eventhough secretly I know that they were really good. Not until now.

As you know I sometimes put my little rhymes at the end of the post when I am in my "ghetto" mood. Yup you might be surprised but I grew up listening to as much hip-hop as I do to rock and metal. And I'm talking really underground hardcore rap stuff, stuff like MC Hammer and Vanilla Ice. How else did you think my rhymes get to be as good as they are?

Anyway I digress, let me get back to the point of this post. I was checking out the blog of the bitchy lovely Nethia and at the end of her latest post what do I see but rhyming! Well rather it was an attempt at rhyming that seemed like it has been taken from the lyrics from a metal song. But it was a half-decent effort for someone taking their first crack at it so I shall give her props for that.

It is a nice feeling when you know you have inspired someone to do something new with your brilliance. It makes the fact that I am home on a Saturday night scratching my dog's ass not so bad.

They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
That's why what she did is alright with me.
Because she can put in a lot of effort, she can try her best
But even then, compared to mine, her rhymes will still suck ass

Firefox 1.0.3

Just a couple words of caution if you are thinking of upgrading to 1.03. I installed it and had huge problems afterwards. It wouldn't exit properly when I quit the browser (the process was still running in the background) and javascript windows like Haloscan wouldn't open.

The problem was only solved when I removed all my extensions, apparently one of them was causing the screw up. They really should have warned people that the new version might cause major conflicts with current extensions. Extensions not working is one thing, but causing the browser to screw up is another. So if you are using a lot of extensions for your Firefox you might just wanna take note.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

Mommy drives me crazy

I been jogging 5 times a week for the past month in a desperate (and probably futile) attempt to reduce the tiny paunch that seems to have appeared where my six pack used to be. I been jogging late at night, usually after midnight, it's quieter and less polluted compared to the evenings.

I didn't tell my mom about my jogs for a very good reason...Let's just say she's a tad on the overprotective side. But I knew she would find out one day. And it so happened last Tuesday night she happened to peek out of her room and see me in my jogging gear getting ready to leave the house.

Mommy: Where you going at this hour?
Me : Jogging.
Mommy: So late? No don't go!!! It's dangerous !!!!
Me : Mom don't worry, it's not like I am gonna get sexually assaulted or something.
Mommy: No ! Why don't you go like 6 pm or something? It's too dangerous I tell ya!!

And then she made a desperate lunge at me to try and grab me before I could get out of the door, but I pushed her away and ran out of the house. And I thought that was that. I came back from my run around 1 am, opened the door....and saw Mommy kneeling in front of the altar praying. Again, it was 1 am in the morning. Who the hell prays at 1 am? But I was too tired to ask her and just took my shower and went to bed.

Next morning, my sis smses me to tell me that mom had complained to her that I was going out at unsafe hours and she was so worried that she prayed for my safety till I came back.

Yep that's mom for you, still thinking of her 27 year old son as her little boy. The same woman who used to advise gal friends that I brought home to throw chili powder in my eyes if I ever tried to force them into anything sexual (sexual by her definition includes groping or kissing). She would rather I go blind than display any behavior remotely adult in nature. Now you know why I ogle openly at dates' asses and accidentally grope them. You try dealing with years of sexual repression.

Why I put up with this you ask? Well I am just waiting for her to get her CPF (it's a kind of government savings plan) money that's why. Once she does I am gonna swindle her out of it and then disappear from that hellhole I call home, faster than you can say "sexually repressed". Ha I can't wait for that day, that will be sweet payback for all that mental torture she put me through over the years.

I really love my mom
But she's worse than a nun
Growing up I was a religious naive little boy
Unlike my peers I was ignorant of the existence of self-administered sexual joy
But I then discovered porn, it made my life slightly better
But she found me out, and I will never forget her words - "burn in hell , you disgusting bedwetter!"
Now I am just waiting, waiting for her to get her huge lump of cash.
Once she does I will swindle her of it and then avoid her like a infectious rash.
Yes I know, you probably think I am evil.
But I am just doing this to put things back on terms level.

Monday, April 18, 2005

Dating Profile

(Got this off some blog a couple days ago, can't remember which blog otherwise I would plug it.)

Your dating personality profile:

Shy - You are often timid around others, though you will open up when the right person comes along.
Liberal - Politics matters to you, and you aren't afraid to share your left-leaning views. You would never be caught voting for a conservative candidate.
Adventurous - Just sitting around the house is not something that appeals to you. You love to be out trying new things and really experiencing life.
Your date match profile:

Adventurous - You are looking for someone who is willing to try new things and experience life to its fullest. You need a companion who encourages you to take risks and do exciting things.
Shy - You are put off by people who are open books. You are drawn to someone who is a bit more mysterious. You want to draw her out of her shell and get to know what she is all about.
Practical - You are drawn to people who are sensible and smart. Flashy, materialistic people turn you off. You appreciate the simpler side of living.
Your Top Ten Traits

1. Shy
2. Liberal
3. Adventurous
4. Practical
5. Sensual
6. Big-Hearted
7. Romantic
8. Wealthy/Ambitious
9. Stylish
10. Athletic
Your Top Ten Match Traits

1. Adventurous
2. Shy
3. Practical
4. Athletic
5. Intellectual
6. Romantic
7. Big-Hearted
8. Traditional
9. Funny
10. Sensual

Take the Online Dating Personality Quiz at Dating Diversions

Yes it's true, I am actually very shy in person. This whole online macho MCP persona on my blog is simply that, a persona to hide the embarassng fact that I am actually just a sweet little boy looking for (physical) love. Now you know.

Yeap it's true I am really shy
Practically unnoticed by everyone, no different from a fly
Behind my blog I hide, wearing a mask of egotism and bravado
But in the field of real life I am harmless, just like a scarecrow.
Looking and waiting for a fit bird, perhaps a dove
To perch on my shoulders and then dive down to give me some physical love.

To be or not to be (a chick)

I don't get it. What the hell is wrong with calling a chick a chick? This ain't the first time some chick brought the fact that they find the term "chick" offensive.

I mean it's not like I'm calling you a bitch, slut or a whore is it? Those carries a negative connotation and I can understand if you don't like that. Chicks are cute, and I never mean it in a demeaning or insulting way. If you wanna take it that way, then it's your prerogative.

I respect women alright. Alright I respect them MOST of the time. There are times that I can't, no matter how much I want to. Like when it's their time of the month and they get all psycho and whiny and bloated. Those times I avoid them like the plague. But other than that they always get my full respect. Seriously.

All this pseudo-feminist bullshit is really annoying. Aren't there more important things for women to worry about? You know, like world peace?

Sometimes I refer to gals as chicks.
But I don't think that make me a dick.
Why does it offend some I do not know
Would they rather I call them a ho?
But if it makes you happy, call me a rooster or some other animal as well
It ain't gonna bother me, in case you can't tell.

Sunday, April 17, 2005

If at first you don't succeed.

So I asked out the lovely Nethia again to dinner yesterday night to make up for staring at her ass the week before. I promised her this time I would do it more discreetly and I would pay for dinner to show my remorse. After much pleading from me she reluctantly agreed but not before insisting that I make no sudden movements during dinner. I agreed to her rather unreasonable demands because I wanted to put the past behind us and start on a clean slate.

What transpired that evening was, to put it mildly, eventful. You can read her grossly sensationalised account of what happened here. Basically I accidentally brushed against her boob during dinner. Fine, so I was not trying to grab her arm like I told her after it happened. But I lied to her for a reason. I didn't wanna reveal this as I rarely reveal personal stuff on this blog, but I need to clear my name. So here is the truth. I have Tourette's syndrome.

Yes it's a disease that causes your limbs to twitch uncontrollably. I have a milder form of it which usually shows itself after a fair bit of alcohol (I had 3 Erdingers) and in the company of women in low cut tops. The truth is her beer glass was dangerously close to falling off the table and I instinctively reached out for it to prevent that, thus saving her some embarassment. But at that precise timing my damm Tourette's came into play and my forearm twitched towards her chest. The rest ...well I would rather not go into detail. I apologized profusely as she took out her handphone and threatened to call the police, finally she relented and forgave me. Or so I thought till I read her account on her own blog.

So to all future dates if I make sudden movements with my arms you know the reason for it and hopefully be a bit more accomodating.

Bad week

It's been a bad week.

Last Saturday I went out on a "date" (or so I thought) and it ended up badly, the chick I went out with for some reason felt the overwhelming need to clarify to EVERYONE she knew that it was NOT a date. Sigh talk about getting your ego majorly crushed. Women can be so cruel.

Then I had that huge ass pimple that caused me to squirm and moan every 3 minutes in my seat at the office, resulting in dirty looks from my colleagues. But fortunately it seems to have reduced in size now, thanks for all those who were concerned about me, I love ya all.

Went out with a gal friend to Ice Cold Beer last Thursday evening as well and she was asking me about the "date" last Saturday.

Gal Friend : So who was that chick you went out last Saturday, read about it on your blog.

So at this point I was thinking she probably liked me so she wanted to see if I was dating anyone else. So my stallion charms kicked in (it's like a reflex action I don't even do it consciously) ...

Me : Oh her...She's just this chick I gotta know recently. She's nice and all but there isn't any sexual tension between know..... unlike me and you.

Her reaction was completely unexpected to say the least. She started laughing uncontrollably. I am not making this up. And we aren't talking about a giggle, I think if she was drinking her beer at the time she would have probably spit it out. Strike 2. Of course I wasn't stupid, I laughed along with her, pretending I was kidding all along. But inside I was crying. But she didn't notice. Thank God.

Like I said it's been a bad week.

Thursday, April 14, 2005

I am hurting.

I been listening to Everybody Hurts by REM on repeat at work while trying to shield the tears on my face.

Well everybody hurts, sometimes
Everybody cries,
and everybody hurts, sometimes
But everybody hurts sometimes
so hold on, hold on, hold on,
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on,
Everybody hurts
You are not alone..

You know it's a really horrible feeling when you are feeling so much hurt but you don't have anyone to turn to. Times like these I really feel as if I am alone in this world. I am hurting really bad but no one is there to help. I really need someone. Someone who cares about me. Someone who gives a shit. Someone who cares enough to burst that big ass pimple on my butt that has been hurting like a bitch since last night. I tried to do it myself but it hurt so much that I started tearing. Asked mom to do it yesterday evening but she just ignored me.

Like they say, you know who your friends are in the time of greatest need. I wonder where my friends are now.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

It's just one of those days ...

Where I feel like I am losing the ability to think rationally. Left the office late last night with a colleague. As I was at the train station waiting for my train to arrive, I realised something strange; I hadn't gotten any calls or smses since I left the office. Checked my pocket and realised that it wasn't there.

I figured that I probably left it in the office so I went back to look for it and I was right. 4 missed calls. From Mom. Felt dumb so I smsed my colleague to tell her about it.

Me: Left the phone in the office. Went back to office to look for it. Idiot.
Her : OMG. Hope you find it.
Me: Thanks, found it already. On my way back home.

Only realised how dumb that entire conversation was when she smsed me and told me. If you can't figure it out you are a dumbass too.

Monday, April 11, 2005

Bloody IT geeks

Just saw this guy a couple minutes ago coming out of the bathroom cubicle with a huge ass grin on his face. What's up with that? What the hell was he doing in there that got him so freaking happy? Yes we IT people do work really long hours sometimes but there are some things you really should really do in the privacy of your own home rather than in the office. Bloody weird asshat.

It was so creepy that I decided to go down to the ground floor to use the bathroom there instead. It's at times like these that make me realize I should have gone into modeling when I had the chance, now I'm doomed to a life working with weird geeks. But as mommy always tells me, life is hard enough without regrets.

Word of the day:

Asshat: One who has their head up their ass. Thus wearing their ass as a hat.

Lyrics of the day:

Yeah I'm rollin' down Rodeo with a shotgun
These people ain't seen a brown skinned man
Since their grandparents bought one

I don't understand women part XXXXIIIII

I really don't. I went out with a chick yesterday and I offered to take her to this restaurant where they had a cheap alcohol and she thinks I'm trying to get her drunk and do something sleazy like take pictures of her cleavage. So we ended up eating at BK. I hate BK, it's such a non-executive place, I am not used to eating at places like this. It's like filled with students and aunties and stuff! But I decided to be a gentleman and reluctantly agreed.

Then I happened to glance at her ass as she was queuing up for our food. I got her to buy the food for me because I am not used to queuing up for my food, you don't have to in restaurants. When she got back I did the gentlemanly thing again and complimented her on her fine looking ass. But instead of being flattered and thanking me she gets pissed! What the hell? And now I just found out that she blogged about it, basically implying that I am a pervert sleazeball. Now my hard-earned reputation is ruined. I am never dating another blogger again! It''s just too much pain. I try to be nice and polite and I get burned in return. No more!! No more you hear!!

p.s. Any female bloggers who still wanna date me despite this, please send me a sexy picture of yourself for consideration, I will then decide whether to make an exception. I am not that cold-hearted ok.

disclaimer: The events described in this entry have been exaggerated to make it humorous in a self-deprecating manner, please do not take it literally. Whether it has the intended effect is immaterial. K enough of big words.

Sunday, April 10, 2005

God speaks to me

As a Catholic I was very offended by Babushka's callous dismissal of my religion. God spoke through her to make one of his people realize that going to mass shouldn't be a chore, and she scoffed at it. God did speak through her, I know this because he spoke to me through someone as well.

It was 15 years ago. I was a very naive innocent kid back then, unaware of the evils of men. I was in secondary that time and perfectly happy with doing my homework and not having a social life. But then one day a classmate of mine shoved this videotape into my bag during Moral Ed class. I looked into my bag and it had a label on it that said "195".

Immediately my sixth sense warned me that behind the innocuous looking number lay an evil of unspeakable proportions. Mind you this was before that Ring movie came out. I was gonna take it out and throw it in the trash. But then a voice spoke to me. It told me that there was no harm in watching it, after all it was just a movie. It told me that the force was strong in me and I should embrace the dark side. So I took the tape, despite my gut telling me not to.

I went back and put the tape into the VCR and pressed the play button. The movie started off decently enough, it was a pretty young stewardess serving drinks to people on a plane. Suddenly the camera shakes violently which I assume was to simulate turbulence on the plane. Everyone starts panicking. The stewardesses calms everyone down, while one of them goes into the cockpit to check on the pilot. The pilot says something about some mechanical failure in the cargo area of the plane and that he's too nervous to fly. So the lovely stewardess did what any stewardess would do and decides to calm him down.

I was shocked when I saw her calming technique, it was the first time I seen such a disgusting thing, I immediately switched the VCR off in disgust. But suddenly something caused the VCR to switch on again. And as I watched it again the voice told me that it wasn't disgusting, it was an act of love and there was nothing wrong with that. So I continued watching. I watched as the other stewardesses on the plane also used various calming techniques on the passengers as well as each other.

Anyway I digress, the point of this post was how God talked to me. To cut a long story short, mommy found my tape one day while I was in school. This is a woman who cringes when she sees two people kissing on TV, so to say she was shocked by the contents would be a gross understatement. She was convinced that the devil had possessed her beloved son, so she called her pastor and a few other church members and staged an intervention.

I still remember that day like it was yesterday. Remember hands, so many hands grabbing me and pushing me to the ground as I walked through the door. Remember my pastor standing over me and splashing holy water on me while repeatedly saying "The power of Christ compels you!!". Remember my mom repeatedly beating me on the head with the videotape, although I think it was more out of anger then trying to exorcise the demon. After what seemed like an eternity, they let me up.

I thought the ordeal was over but I guessed wrong. They then made me watch The Ten Commandments 3 times. But when I finished, the evil voice in my head was gone. It was replaced by a voice that sounded like Charles Heston telling me that I had been saved and am now a messenger of God. I came out to the living room, everyone was there waiting for me. I took the tape from mom, it was covered with blood, my blood from the repeated bashing to my head. I took a lighter and burned it. They cheered for they knew I had been saved.

Ever since that day I been on a witchhunt against porn, I look for it everyday and compile a list of websites that spread this evil so that one day I can submit it to the authorities. If not for the timely intervention of mommy and the church I would have probably be condemned by God by now. God spoke to me through them, and if that doesn't convince you of a the presence of a higher power nothing will.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

How I would reply to Miss S'pore Universe questions

Q: If you had to chose a mascot for a charity what animal would you choose? (Wow wonder which judge came up with this brainteaser?)

Me : I would choose the cock for the mascot. Because I just love cocks. If you don't believe me, ask all my friends, they will tell you how much I love them cocks. I can't keep my hands off them when I see them.

Q : What would you say to MJ if you had 5 mins with him?
Me : I'm sorry to waste your time but I am of legal age.

But man really the questions were lame to the max. My dog could have come up with better ones I tell ya.

Oh and I just tried this spelling bee thing sent by my good old army buddy. Sigh the things you do when you are bored out of your mind. Here is what I got:

You scored 14 out of a possible 23
Not bad at all. You have a good grasp of the language's tricksier words, and only have a few blind spots.

Don't play play, I got A2 for O Level English ok!

Software Testing

It's one of the most boring tasks ever invented. I takes a hell lot of time but you learn absolutely nothing from it, other than how buggy most software is. You keep hoping that you will not find any bugs but that is never true. Then you gotta make sure you can replicate that error and then file a bug report. If it sounds incredibly boring, then be glad that you don't have to do it.

I'm bored out of my mind. Thank god I have my 1 GB Creative MuVo MP3 player to listen to while I am doing this. I seriously have no idea how some people cope with a pathetic 128 MB player. How do you cope, pray tell?

Anyway here's a sample of lyrics to a song I listened to earlier, it's one of my favourites. Try and guess the song if you can. Indulge me alright. Please.

I'd tell all my friends
But they'd never believe me
They'd think that I'd finally lost it completely

I'd show them the stars
And the meaning of life
They'd shut me away
But I'll be all right
All right.

Monday, April 04, 2005

The mystery of the Stallion

"I think you should decide which is more impt. Your friend or shamelessly trying to grab an opportunity to pimp your blog through her.

It would seem to me that it's more important to you that your guy friends see a babe endorsing you. Now That's shallow. You put your own foot in your mouth boasting about it."

That was a comment by an anonymous reader on my blog entry a while back about my tiff with a friend who was in Miss Singapore Universe 2005 because she refused to mention my blog while she was in the pageant.

I was gonna come up with one of my clever retorts, about how he made me see the error of my ways, how I shall now date really ugly women to make up for my shallowness etc. But you know what, it's a Monday, I'm grumpy, sexually frustrated and mentally tired so screw all that.

I just find it incredible how so many people take everything I write about literally, even when I make them so bloody outrageous that it has to be obvious (at least to me) that it ain't true. It's funny sometimes, I would just read their comments/advice/insults and giggle out loud, despite the fact it makes my family members very nervous everytime I do that, don't ask me why.

But then there are those other times where I wonder to myself : Am I really that hard to figure out?

Sunday, April 03, 2005

I shall no procrastinate no more!

I been running for the past week late at night. Yes it's my 2nd attempt at losing weight after my ill-fated vege diet that lasted a grand total of a week. But I realised a couple of days ago why that didn't work; read this article in the paper about how certain blood types have to stick to certain foods - my recommended food was protein-rich foods like meat. So it wasn't a lack of willpower, rather my body was trying to force me to take the food that it knew I needed.

But like mom always tells me, if you fail the first time try again. She had to tell that a lot of times to me while I was growing up. But yeah, she was the one who told me that it was time I stop staring at the naked pictures of myself during my army days and trying to relive those glory days. I was angry at her at first for spying on me while I ogled at my naked pictures but then I realised she had a point. Not sure how long I can keep this going, hopefully longer than a week. We will see.

Oh and I am (finally) going to buy an electric guitar next wednesday, got a friend of a friend to teach me guitar. Something I been planning to do for a long while but never got around to it. Can't wait to start and learn to play my favourite songs by Richard Marx, Roxette and Mr Big. After that it's just a matter of time till the chicks come flocking.

Speaking of music, I hate Simple Plan and Avril Lavagne, both of whom have been or are coming to Singapore. If this is what punk has to offer nowdays then god help us all. To those who think they are amazing do yourself a favor and check out the Blood Brothers! And this amazing new band called Horse the Band whom I gotta know about thanks to jade.

But scarecrow, I'm still alive.
Who sewed me back together to watch the whole world writhe?
Watch me stumble on the cobblestones.
Mothers, grab your children, here comes the town drunk.
Scarecrow, they took my wife.
They tied her to an oak in a field of rye.
They flood the field with kerosene;
as the moths ate the flames their faces beamed.

Live At The Apocalypse Cabaret by the Blood Brothers

My love style

Your Love Style is Eros

For you, love is all about the passion!
And chances are, you're currently in love.
You have a strong physical response to love...
And you are great at committing (As long as the person makes your toes curl!)

(Got this off Sara)

Yes I have kinda lost the passion for blogging, but as you can tell from above I am still very passionate about other things. In case you didn't know, "You have a strong physical response to love" implies that I am really good in bed of course. What do you know, these quizzes can be pretty accurate.

Alright I am not a huge fan of this kinda quizzes but am probably in the worst blogging slump since I started, so this is all you get for now. What, you ain't happy about it? Fine then why don't you try your hand at blogging and see how well you do, you ungrateful readers! I give and I give and you just read and read and complain!!! How about some words of appreciation once in a while huh! Screw you all!!!

Speaking of screwing, I watched Miss Singapore Universe earlier, talk about a major screw up. Natasha should have won and when she got into the final 2 I was pretty sure she would; her answers had been really good and she even engaged in some pre-interview banter with the hosts unlike the other contestants. But yeah finally they gave it to Cheryl Tay, who as a friend rightly pointed out, bears a striking resemblance to last year's winner? Coincidence? I think not.