Thursday, March 31, 2005

Mama I am coming home.

Parents can be so embarassing sometimes.

Met my mom at the bus stop yesterday on the way home from work and we boarded the bus together. The bus was pretty crowded but there was this 3 seater thing where there was still space for one person to sit. Normally I would elbow mommy out of the way and take that space for myself, but this time there was this rather hot gal sitting on it, so I did what any filial son would do and gave it up to my mom. Hot gal seemed to be rather impressed that I did that. Well she was umpressed UNTIL my mom tried to insist that I squeeze in between her and the hot chick and seat beside her.

At that point I wanted to scream "That seat only holds 3 people dammit!! Stop embarassing me like you been doing all my bloody life for once can ya!!". But that little thing called filial piety took over, so I politely declined her invitation, ignored her repeated coaxing and moved on to the back of the bus. But the damage was already done, I didn't need to look at the hot chick to see the look of disgust on her face; she probably thought I was like a spoilt immature mommy's boy. Damn you mom, I probably would have gotten laid yesterday if not for you. Anyway I got back at her wen we reached home by refusing to let her serve me dinner. That will teach her to not embarass me anymore in public in front of hot chicks.

Speaking of parents, I gotta do my taxes for the first time this year, and was just wondering if I could claim relief for parent maintainance. Hey I do settle most of the bills in the house after all, and add to that I bought mom a new toaster last Christmas because the one she was using kept burning the toast she did for me. I think that should entitle me to some relief right?

Oh and there was this section for claiming relief for a disabled parent, and I was wondering if I should try and claim that for my dad. Yes sadly daddy seems to be losing it, he's been having more mood swings than a gal hooked on oestrogen pills. Also he has been acting a little strangely recently, like forgetting that the toilet has a door when he uses it. Or being a complete pain in the ass by bitching incessantly about how I left the glass at the table before leaving for work and how that makes the whole house incredibly messy.

Jesus does everyone get this way when they get old? If so, I will probably commit suicide when I do get old, rather than live the rest of my life being completely annoying and picky.

Sunday, March 27, 2005

The baby celebrity

Jesus I am so sick of hearing about Zoe Tay's kid in the news.

I was reading the paper today and there was an article about her son's first month anniversary. And this was in the main section of the paper reserved for the more serious news, not the entertainment section. Here's an excerpt:

"But the star of the show was the little one who was unfazed by the endless camera flashes popping in his face. Dressed in pink trousers and a white shirt, he handled the attention like a seasoned celebrity, never once showing any sign of protest. Like mother, like son."

I tried to imagine how the reporter who did that story felt when her editor-in-chief gave her that story to cover.
The poor gal, she probably had lofty aspirations back in school of being a reporter who covered groundbreaking news events and the public about important issues. And here she was now, writing an article about a month old baby who literally has nothing to say, and having to give it a fake personality for her article. Reality sucks doesn't it? What's next? Will they be covering the moment when the kid walks his first step? Or says his first word?

"The entire Singapore rejoiced today as little Brayden said his first words this morning. It was 'Pee Pee'. Zoe Tay was glad she had her videocam to capture the moment so that she could share this joyous occasion with Singapore. It is expected that birth rates will increase tremendously after this event, as Zoe will probably inspire more women, both single and married, to have children after seeing how happy she is."

A month back, the media covered her birth as well as reported the fact that she didn't bathe for a month after that, it's a Chinese practice based on superstition. There was even an argument about whether she was being a good role model for other moms in their post-natal months. But if you have to take your cue from a celebrity when it comes to deciding on your bathing habits then maybe you shouldn't even be having kids in the first place.

Monday, March 21, 2005

Hope Sucks

Hope sucks.

It really does. The problem with hope is that it raises your expectations that much higher, setting you up for a even bigger fall when what you had hoped for doesn't materialize. I have always told myself it is better to be pessimistic rather than optimistic; the reason being that at least for the former if things turn out well you are pleasantly surprised. But for the latter, if things don't happen the way you wanted them to you will most probably be doubly disappointed. So I told myself why take the risk?

But thinking about what not to do is one thing, but not doing it is something else altogether. Because no matter how pessimistic I am, I still sometimes fall into the trap of giving in to this evil beast called hope. Like if I had a previous really amazing experience that totally blew my mind, something I cherished so much that I can't help but hope it happens again. I am sure some of you do know what I am talking about. You are probably nodding your head and going "Yup, I been there". And that is what happened here with me.

Yup damn you Mars Volta. Their first album completely blew me away the first time I heard it, and I couldn't help but be all excited for the coming of their sophomore album. I had high hopes for this one, I was sure that it would mesmerise me the same way the first one did, if not more. Unfortunately that turned out not to be the case. I been listening to the damn album on repeat for almost 2 weeks, thinking that it would just be a matter of time before the brilliance of it hits me. Hey that's the case with most of my favorite albums (Anema by Tool, Ok Computer by Radiohead), they were horribly difficult to get into and required repeated listens from me before I got it.

But it doesn't seem to be the case with Frances the Mute. I desperately wanted to love it. It's technically even more brilliant that their previous one (Omar's solos are simply out of this world at times), but for some unknown reason it just doesn't move me like De-loused did. Like I want it to. That's what great music is supposed to do isn't it? To make you feel.

Hope sucks. It really does.

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

MuVo N200 is da bomb yo!

Yup I have finally moved into the world of digital music. Got my 1 GB Creative MuVo (why do they use alt caps) N200 at the IT Fair and so far I'm lovin' it! No more lugging my Discman around in my bag in addition to a CD wallet. The sound is really good and it's small as hell. It supposedly can record from audio devices via the in line jack as well as from radio but haven't tried that out yet. And it also has a mike for recording purposes, haven't tried that out either.

But I mainly got it for music, and right now there are albums from Killswitch Engage, The Fugees, Blood Brothers. The Arcade Fire and Mars Volta on the player. Switching albums is easy as long as you have them in different folders.

But my PC at home only has USB 1.0, so the file transfer rate is a bit slow, around 5 minutes per album. Probably gonna get a PCI to USB 2.0 card soon.

However only annoying thing is it doesn't have playlist support so I need to manually rename the mp3s and put the track number in front of the file names to make sure they play in album order.

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Monday, March 14, 2005

Gods of Metal

A gal I gotta know recently invited me to a metal gig at this club called Paradigm, and I decided to go check it out since I never been to one.

To say it was a culture shock would be a bit of a understatement. Firstly, almost everyone was wearing black. And if they were wearing black T-Shirts it was always a band T-shirt like Cradle of Filth and Emperor. Thank god I was wearing a black T-shirt as well, I had initially thought of wearing this pink polo T-Shirt because I really look cute in it. I think if I had I probably would have been beaten up.

My appreciation of "hardcore metal" is admittedly pretty limited, Killswitch Engage is as heavy as I go, and even the vocalist of that band sings a fair bit so it isn't that bad. But the bands I saw today were something else altogether. They were screaming and growling the whole time, covering bands with scary names such as Blind Guardian, The Haunted and Cradle of Filth. I never did understand why metal bands have to have such names. Like do they sit around and think "Hey what's more innocent than a baby? A baby lies in a cradle. So what if that cradle was filled with the most evil filth ever? Hey I got it, we shall call ourselves Cradle of Filth! Evil rules !!!"

I can't say I had the greatest time, but it was definitely an experience and the technical ability of the musicians was quite amazing to behold at times.

Saturday, March 12, 2005

Blogger Commenting

Yes seems like it's down. Been having a lot of problems since I switched from Haloscan. At first it was the damned pop-up function, it took an eternity to load the comments and I disabled it after a week. And now you can't even comment. Well you can, if you click the link to post at the end of the entry and then click 'post a comment' on the page. But if this keeps up I am going back to Haloscan.

When you work with monkeys....

It's been a bad week. Spent almost the whole of it at Nanyang Technological University doing an implementation. It was supposed to be an easy one, but thanks to the incompetence of one of our company's partners it turned out to be a really frustrating affair.

I installed my company's software and configured it accordingly the first day. After that the engineer from the partner side realised he made serious errors in his own part, so instead of trying to resolve them, he backed up my software directory, wiped out the existing data, re-installed the whole OS and put back my directory, thinking I wouldn't notice it. Idiot. Because of him I had to waste another day and re-install the whole damm software again. Oh and he didn't even know the difference between 32 bit and 64 bit versions of Redhat, he thought they were just different kernel revisions. Jesus.

Oh that was not all. I stated clearly that he was to call my colleague or me if he had problems resolving the issue the next day. The next day the idiot called his colleague (idiot no. 2) instead. Idiot no. 2 smsed another colleague of mine to ask him to call me to tell me to call idiot. When my colleague told idiot no. 2 to call me directly, idiot no. 2 called another colleague of his (idiot no. 3) to call me to tell me to call idiot. When I asked the idiot why he didn't call me directly, he gave the excuse that he had forgotten to save my number. This was despite the fact that I called him numerous times from my handphone the day before.

Yes I am ranting. It's been a bad week. It was like trying to work with monkeys I tell ya. But worse. Thank God it's over.

On a better note I am looking at an implementation in Korea the next month. Hoping that happens, that will be kind of cool. I met this Korean chick from my company when I was in Shanghai for a conference a year ago, and sparks flew all over the place between us, despite the fact we could barely understand each other. I haven't felt that much sexual tension with someone since Johnny, so I am really looking forward to seeing her again. I emailed her about it and she seemed to be excited as well. We will see what happens.

Sunday, March 06, 2005

Fake Smiles

The Fake Smile test is courtesy of the lovely Dawn and it gauges how well you can differentiate between genuine and fake smiles.

I have always considered myself a social butterfly who can read people pretty well so I was quite confident of acing the test. But to my horror I only got 11/20. Most of my mistakes were identifying smiles as genuine when they were in fact fake.

That started me thinking. I always had this knack of making the people smile all the time, and it is something I been rather proud of. Now I am wondering if they could possibly be fake. At the end of the test they tell you the physical differences between real smiles and fake, so I decided to do a little test. Yes, who else would be a better candidate than my mom, who never fails to smile encouragingly at everything I tell her?

Me: Mom, I am thinking of quitting my job and becoming a model.
Mom : Oh...*smile*..I think that's a great idea! You should definitely go for it.

There are few things that I have loved in my life. 2 of those things were porn and mom's smile, both of them have never failed to lift my spirits up when I'm down. But today I saw her smile, and I realized it was a fake smile. Yes, my own mom is patronizing me with her fake smile, like how she has been doing all these years. I turned back and went back to my room. Just before I closed the door, I looked at mom one last time. She was still holding that fake smile.

I closed the door. The door to my room. Her door to my circle of trust.

But the rest of you who have been fake smiling to me all this while, beware. I am onto you, you patronizing bastards !!!

Saturday, March 05, 2005

Hitch

I went to catch 'Hitch' with a friend a couple of days ago, it was a pretty funny and enjoyable movie, although 2 hours is a little long for a lighthearted romantic comedy. Will Smith plays Alex Hitchens, a date doctor who advises losers...i mean socially inept guys to get the woman of their dreams.

Will Smith was really really slick in his role, hell at one point I was finding myself swooning over him. But I could have used a guy like him, especially when I just started dating. Yup yours truly was not exactly the smoothest operator back then. But that was in the past and I have learnt somewhat from my mistakes, you know simple lessons like not to say "I don't like coffee" when a really hot chick asks you out to a cup of coffee. Sigh still have nightmares about that.

Speaking of Hitch, I read in the papers today about a guy who proposed to his girlfriend in the cinema during the screening of that movie. He proposed to her and she accepted, and then they started watching the movie. But they were so excited that they kept talking throughout the movie, so they are gonna watch it again. Can you believe that? Could they be any less considerate to the other movie goers in the cinema?
But go catch the movie alright, I highly recommend it.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Miss Universe 2005

I blogged a week back about how I had a falling out with my friend who is in this year's Miss Universe pageant because she refused to mention my blog URL during the live telecast of the show tomorrow. Well we have settled our differences, I realized that my demands have been a tad unreasonable so I called and apologized to her and that was that.

Anyway the show is on this Saturday (click the title link) and you can SMS vote for your favourite contestant, the top 3 automatically go to the finals. Yes each SMS costs 20 cents, but at least you get to win a prize by voting, compared to the Singapore Idol finals where I believe it was 50 cents and you don't get shit. I didn't and still don't get how people are willing to waste so much money on someone they don't even know. She's the first contestant so do vote for her, she's easily the best looking chick out there. And no I ain't being bias.

Oh ya one thing, me and her have this really long running joke where she pretends to not know me at all. So if you know her or meet her in person and ask her if she knows me she will probably deny it. Hell she will probably act all puzzled and saying she never heard of the 'Indian Stallion'. Heh she's a funny one. Yes you are Natasha! But seriously stop it, the joke has gone long enough. Seriously. People are starting to really think I'm making it up when I am not. Actually to be completely honest, I know almost all of the contestants in the pageant, the whole bunch of us like hang out at this kopi tiam (coffeeshop) near my place every other week and chill out.

Oh oh Frances the Mute is out ! I am gonna head down to Borders and get it tommorow. You should too. It's gonna be amazing, I just know it.

Listening to : De-loused in the Comatorium by Mars Volta

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Enough!

I was walking back home late last night from Geylang, thinking about my life. I had just went to see Candy, she's my friend who is there to comfort me whenever I feel down, for 50 bucks an hour. Usually I would feel better after I see her, but that night she couldn't help me much.

I wondered why there was so much hate in this world. Why there was so much hate towards me. Here I was doing the Lord's work, showing evil men the folly of their ways but I was getting criticized for it. But then I realized Jesus was in the same situation. He tried to save mankind from their evil sins, but in the end he was crucified by the very men he was trying to save. So who was I to feel unfairly treated? But I still felt a bit unconvinced, so I took out my bible and started reading it while walking back home.

So there I was reading my bible when suddenly I heard a strange sound. I looked up from my bible, and in front of me was a tiny kitten. Meowing vociferously. I could see the evil in its beady eyes........

What happened next was a blur. I remember me running towards the kitten with my hand raised, with the Word of God in my hand. I remembered bones cracking. I remembered there was a lot of blood. Too much blood. I never knew kittens had so much blood.

It was all over in a matter of minutes. I looked at my hands. They were all covered with kitty blood. I looked up at the little kitty, its lifeless body stood limp on the ground, it seemed at peace in a way, like it was taking a nice long nap. My bible was laying a few feet away from it. I walked over slowly to pick it up. That's when I noticed that the book was open. The page that it was opened to was from the Book of Ezekiel. Ezekiel 25.17.

I picked up the book and read the passage again, as I did so many times. But this time I finally realized that I had the passage all wrong.

I been saying that passage for years. And if you ever heard it, it meant you had just been condemned by hell by me. I have always thought I'm the righteous man. And my blog here, it's the shepherd protecting God's weak from the tyranny of evil men.

But the truth is I'm the tyranny of evil men. I looked at the kitten again. It was just an innocent kitten. I thought I killed it because it was meowing vociferously, but then I realized that couldn't be it because I didn't even know what vociferous means. I had killed it because I was evil. I didn't know the kitten, I hadn't seen it before. For all I know, vociferous kitten, it could be one of your friends or even a relative. But it had no part in our feud, yet I killed it to appease the hatred of you that was growing within me.

So I ask you, how many more kittens must die before our thirst for revenge is quenched? I will tell you now, no more. This feud is over. This will be my last entry on this. For there has been enough bloodshed over our squabble. And there are bigger issues out there like world peace, bigger issues than who the bigger loser is here. Because there has been only one loser here, and it was that poor innocent kitten.

No more.