I took a break from my weekly Sunday lesbian porn marathon to check out my site on technorati, just to see if there were any new links to me. And surprisingly there were quite a few including this one, The Breakup Blog, by a 30 year old guy from UK. I was feeling rather proud of myself that my writings appealed to people outside Singapore, but that feeling dissipated as soon as I moused-over my link on his blog. When I did that, a pop-up window appeared and it said "I like this guy. He makes me feel normal".
I felt anger upon reading that. Then confusion. He was implying I was so abnormal that it made him feel normal. Well you are welcome buster but now I feel like crap no thanks to you! Then I started thinking. What if he was telling the truth? What if I wasn't normal? What if there was something wrong with me? I have had people, sometimes even kids tell me that I sometimes seem a bit psychotic, but I always assumed they were just teasing. But now ...now I am not so sure.
As I was contemplating my normalness, Mommy came in to my room to lay my pajamas on my bed, like she did every Sunday as far back as I can remember. Usually I would ignore her as I would be too engrossed in my porn, but today was different.
Me: Mom.....Am I normal?
Mom froze for a moment, and then she gently placed my pajamas on the bed before turning to me. It was my favorite Mickey Mouse pajamas..
Mom: Oh guess what, I cooked your favorite for dinner today. Corned beef. Come let's have dinner now and we can talk about how you did during yesterday's Dungeons and Dragons game.
Me : Mom ....Answer the question...Please. I need to know.
Mom looked really uncomfortable, just like the time when I asked her where babies came from. That was 2 years ago. She paused for a really long time, and then she spoke.
Mom: Son, "Normal" is just a word created by society so that they can direct their hatred towards people who don't fit their idea of what is socially acceptable. It's a word used to discriminate against people who dare to live their lives differently without conforming to society's moral or ethical standards! Screw them I say.
Me: Mom. Just tell me if I am normal. Yes or No. Tell me before I lose my cool and bitchslap you like what happened that other time. I don't think either of us wants a repeat of that incident.
Mom : Fine. You want the truth, I will give you the truth! You are normal, but different. Yes you can be a self-righteous bastard at times, but you are normal. That's all you gonna get from me. Let us speak of this no longer, I beseech you.
I smiled to myself, thanked her and turned back to my porn. I know the truth now. I AM normal. Normal but different. And for some reason I felt better than I had in years.