Thursday, January 13, 2005

I am off to Bangalore to find me a wife!

I shall be heading to Bangalore on the 24th of this month on business. Might look around for a prospective village bride while I am there and have the time. The problem with Singaporean women is that they don't treat men like God, eventhough evidence in the bible proves that the first woman was formed from a man's rib.

You would think that giving up a rib and being the sole reason for her existence would make women grateful. But no it ain't enough. It's never enough. They want more. They want equal rights. Well give me back my rib and we will call it equal. They want men to do housework. Well I would love to but the missing rib makes it unbearingly difficult to sweep.

Anyway that's why I decided to get a nice little village girl. Those village girls know how to treat their men right. I used to watch those Tamil movies in the past, and they would always have scenes where the hero slaps the gal to put the arrogant bitch in her place. And the gal, after being slapped, realizes what a spoiled bitch she was and falls in love with the guy for being man enough to hit her. I swear I am not making this up, that is how amazing the gals there are. Here you try slap a chick to put her in her place, the next thing you know you are in jail waiting to be tried on assault and battery charges.

Yup so hopefully I get to see some young hot chicklets as I scour around the villages looking for the lucky gal who I will give an amazing life to, a life without any more poverty. And all she needs to do in return is cook, clean and massage my feet or any other extremities that require massaging. Of course she will need to declare her love to me physically whenever I demand it. And accede to any requests requiring the use of handcuffs, whips, sheep and/or candlewax without complaining. I don't think I would be able to find a woman here who will do that. But those village gals - they will do it, they will do anything to please their husband, their god. They just don't make women like that here anymore.

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