Thursday, January 27, 2005

The attributes of the stereotypical Indian guy

  1. The moustache

    He is never without one. I never got the reasoning behind it to be honest. If you wanna keep your facial hair than fine keep all of it, why only conserve the hair above your mouth while shaving everything else below it right up to the neck)? I had one just after I reached puberty, but it was so damm annoying, food would get stuck when I eat, it would itch like hell in hot weather etc. Got rid of it after I learned how to shave.

  2. Huge Ego

    Never outright reject an Indian man when he makes a move on you. Always come up with some lame excuse (like you have an STD) to make him think that it's not him, it's you. Oh, and cry and whine about how cruel fate is for not letting you have him like you so want to. A friend of mine made the unfortunate mistake of rejecting this guy, he got pissed and went around telling all his friend that she was a slut who screwed anything that moves. And the local Indian community is really small and pretty close-knit so it didn't take long for it to go around. Don't say I never warn you.

  3. Mamma's Boy

    Traditional Indian moms treat their sons and husbands like gold. I have heard stories about how some Indian guys get their food served to them on the dinner table by their moms and sisters. And after they eat, they immediately leave the table to leave the dishes to be cleared by the womenfolk. The word housework is also alien to them.

  4. Extremely possessive

    They control what their girlfriends wear, usually their preferred choice of clothing would be a nun's habit, mainly because they are the only one with the right to see their girlfriend's cleavage and more. The girlfriend is also not to go out with or talk to any other guy even if he is around, doing so will embarrass him as he will be ridiculed by his peers for not being able to control his woman.

  5. Choice of movies

    They favor movies with a lot of fighting (Steven Seagal, Van Damme) because it's the closest thing to Indian movies (which also feature a lot of fights). They love wrestling for the same reason.

  6. Choice of clothing

    Hip-hop. Plaster on cheek ala Nelly highly recommended. As a result, some of them are referred to as 'tiggers' ( the t stands for tamil)

  7. Double standards

    They insist that they want to marry a good (read: virgin) girl when they finally settle down, doesn't matter if they aren't one themselves. Non-virgin gals are fun to screw, but they do not make good wives.

Did I miss anything out?

I ain't anything like the typical Indian man
In fact a lot of their habits I just can't stand
The reason for that, if you might just be wondering
Is that I had a very non-Indian upbringing
For that I gotta thank my grandma's influence, she was chinese
She was a mean old bitch but she did good as well, so granny rest in peace.
Sometimes I do regret the fact that I lost my roots to my culture.
But then again I don't think I can ever imagine myself being the typical indian guy, or even worse a tigger!

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