You know sometimes you think you know who your friends are. And then you realise that they are completely different from what you expected, that they weren't as amazing as you thought initially. Unfortunately pretty often you only realise this in times of great need.
Right anyway let me explain why I brought this up. I rarely bring up personal stuff on this blog, but this has affected me to such a degree that I just need to write about it.
Today was my last day of my first ever reservist training. For the last month prior to the training I been telling a lot of gal friends about how it was my first one and that I was a little nervous about it. I dropped major hints about how much it would mean to me if someone actually "surprised" me at the gate on the day that I booked out. I even gave them the location of the camp and the time I was booking out as well. I didn't want them to spend too much effort on me you see.
But when I booked out earlier this evening, there was no one. I figured they were probably late, so I hung around the camp entrance for an hour. And an hour after that. After which it finally dawned on me that no one was coming. I never felt more alone my whole life than at that very moment.
I must have told at least 10 gal friends about it. Yet not even one of them turned up. I am seriously re-considering our friendships in light of today. It was a really tough 4 days, I barely made it through alive. It would have meant so much to me to have a nice soft shoulder to cry on. So to those of you who I told but didn't bother to turn up - I don't know if we are still friends anymore.