Saturday, December 18, 2004

Bad Sex

The winner of the annual literary British prize for bad sex in fiction really deserved it in my opinion. Some of the prize-winning phrases :

"Slither slither slither slither went the tongue"

Notice the use of repeated words to emphasise the ..err..slithering of the tongue and to reinforce in the reader's mind the imagery of it being a snake.

"...since it has the entire terrain of her torso to explore and not just the otorhinolaryngological caverns -- oh God, it was not just at the border where the flesh of the breast joins the pectoral sheath of the chest "

What woman can help but quiver when a guy describes her pectoral sheath and her otorhinolaryngological caverns.

Another author writes :

"The smell of his armpits was on her shoulders -- a flower depositing pollen on a hummingbird's forehead."

Comparing armpit scent to pollen, you can't get more romantic than that.

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