Monday, November 29, 2004

I think I'm dumb....and I am not having fun

K me not smart at all. It was a stay-out course, which means I get to go back every evening. I was the only idiot there with a bag full of clothes and stuff. Give me a break, it was my FIRST reservist outing you know.

Jesus it was boring as hell though. I can't reveal any details because it is supposedly highly classified. But this is just the theory part. The actual exercise seems to be rather interesting from what the other guys told me. We shall see.

I will be back

I am off to the army ! Will be back on Thursday. You know I been blogging for quite a while and I can humbly say that I have reached a fairly respectable social standing within the blogger community.

Therefore I have decided this would be a good opportunity to give something back to the blogging community. I asked a friend of mine to be the guest blogger for the next couple of days. He is a blogging newbie so give him a bit of leeway alright. Alright fine the only reason I am bringing it up is so that you guys don't wonder why the writing has suddenly gone all crap.

No pressure dude, knock yourself out. Keep it real dawg ! Respect!

Sunday, November 28, 2004

Anonymous yet again (Because I am in a blogging slump)

Haha I am closing onto you my friend. Little do you know that every comment you post brings me one step closer to unearthing your identity. Your latest comment was ...well only 2 words - "mr desperado". You might think it reveals nothing, but you would be wrong.

Now I know that you are working in a field where minimal or no writing skills are required. Eloquence is also probably not a pre-requisite in your field. This narrows down the list of suspects considerably. So far the evidence suggests that you might be in the army, but I can't be completely sure. Keep commenting, sooner or later I shall find out who you are. And once I do...ok I haven't figured that part out. But it will be something nasty. *evil laughter*

Coolness is an inborn thing.

Yo check it ! It's my homie from the hood, but he is without his bitches in the pic cause they cramp his style. He is as cool as they come, he's got his own personal style, hell it's so unique that no one else even dares to try and copy it. To see more cool people head on over to Street Style. Respect!

p.s Gotta know about this site through Something Awful.

Saturday, November 27, 2004

Anonymous strikes again

"they dont like you. but dont wanna be outrightly rude. some self examination needed." - Mr./Mrs. Anonymous's comment from the previous entry.

I am starting to hate this "Anonymous" person. He/she keeps on flaming me on my blog. Couple months ago I got flamed (he/she called me a sick perv) for describing Maia from Singapore Idol a MILF. And now this. Who are you Anonymous? Why do you torment me so? What have I done to you I ask? Were you the kid I beat at the chess competition back in high school - I still remember the look in your eyes when I laughed and exclaimed how fun it was raping your king of his defences. It still haunts me to this day.

Anyway I shall answer you. First of all I practice self-examination almost everyday. Especially when I am watching porn. So thanks but you are preaching to the converted.

Secondly, I accept rejection as a part of life. I have realised that when you possess a big dongle it tends to intimidate most women - thats almost always the reason why they reject me to be completely honest. I didn't wanna bring this up because (as most of you probably know) I am not one to talk about my huge shiny trumpet. But it is the truth and I decided it's time I share something personal on this blog.

The only issue I have is they refuse to admit to me that it is the REAL reason for rejecting me. Instead they come up with completely ridiculous reasons like the ones mentioned in the previous entry. I mean come on do I look like an idiot?(do not answer that).

There was this one gal who once told me I was invading her space. And I was like "Come on just admit it's because I have a huge dick." But she refused to admit it; instead she stuck to that ridiculous "you are invading my space" story, saying how creepy it was when I called her in the middle of the night and made those grunting sounds. Like hello forgive me for having a sore throat!! And I was trying to be romantic by calling her at 3 am cos it was a full moon that night, that only happens like once a month.

So anyway I hope I convinced you now anonymous. There is really too much strife in this world, let's not add to it. I will gladly be your friend if you be mine.

Friday, November 26, 2004

Bad luck with women

I have always had bad luck with women. Mainly because for some weird reason or possibly fate I always tend to meet those who lead really busy lives. When I ask them out they would tell me they are too busy with work to go out. In fact some of them are so busy then don't even have time to answer when I call them. I really feel for them, I can't imagine living a life that busy.

If they are not busy then they are clinically depressed. There was this one chick who I asked out for coffee once - she told me she was going through a depressoion so bad that she would probably not go out for the next 7 months. Sigh I hope she's ok now. But I did see her at a cinema a couple of weeks ago with a guy who must have been her shrink.

If they are not busy or clinically depressed they are in some binding agreement that prevents them from going out with me. This gal once told me she couldn't have dinner with me because she had this mutual agreement with a guy in China who she was kinda seeing; that they would not go out with any other members of the opposite sex. But she did express regret for not knowing me before she committed into that agreement; she told me if she did then she would have put in a clause to exclude me from the terms of that agreement. How sweet of her.

Yup that's the kinda luck I am having. But I just wonder sometimes where all the women who are not incredibly busy, clinically depressed or caught in a binding agreeement are.

Speaking of women I ain't gonna be seeing any for the next week. Yep I am off to the army to serve my country for 4 intense and gruelling days from Monday to Thursday. NOT looking forward to wearing my army fatigues and combat boots. Sigh the thought of crawling through mud in the rain ...there goes my flawless complexion. Shall be taking pics with my phone if possible , will post them when I get back !

Saturday, November 20, 2004

Miss Singapore World 2004

Click the title above to see our representative for Miss World 2004. An excerpt from her interview.

What was the funniest/most embarrassing moment of your life?

The incident happened many years ago when I started modelling. I was doing my very first fashion show and I made mistakes during the sequence. It looked funny to the audience and at the same time embarrassing for me.

Oh stop, that's so hilarious I can barely contain my laughter! Miss India is pretty hot but she didn't fare much better on the same question:

Fortunately so far I have had no funny or embarrassing moments in my life.

I don't even know what to say to that.

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Man Stabbed in Melee at L.A.-Area Rap Awards Show

Got this off yahoo news, click the title to see it. The attacker caught everyone at the show by surprise when he pulled out a knife out of his jacket. One witness who is being treated for shock said that she couldn't even remember the last time someone tried to kill someone else at the show without the use of a gun.

Sigh I am seriously bored at work. Just finished rehearsing my song and dance routine for the boss of the boss tommorow. Listened to all my CDs in my CD pouch. Did little else. It's times like this where I really regret not being a model when I had the chance.

CDs I listened to at work today:

The End of Heartache by Killswitch Engage
Penance Soiree by The Icarus Line
Relationship of Command by At the Drive-In
Franz Ferdinand by Franz Ferdinand

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Bride and Prejudice

I was so inspired by last Friday's Singapore Idol episode that I decided to get in touch with my roots. So I decided to go catch Bride and Prejudice with a friend last Saturday. Alright I really wanted to see Shutter (a Thai horror movie) but the friend declined because she didn't wanna grab me if she got scared, she didn't trust me after the last 'accident'. Sigh I get no respect I tell ya. You accidentally grab a chick's boob once and you are instantly branded a pervert for life. Anyway we compromised and went to watch Bride and Prejudice instead, with the condition that my hands would be visible to her at all times during the movie.

About the movie, well first let me talk about the good stuff. Aishwarya Rai is gorgeous as hell and it was really hard to take my eyes off her. I was never a really big fan of her in the past but man she's just so damm gorgeous in this movie. Ok I already mentioned that. There were plenty of funny moments in the movie as well, the best of which was probably the snake dance. And most of the dance numbers in the movie are pretty well executed, even if the songs themselves weren't so memorable.

Ok the bad : The lead actor was horrid, he spends the whole movie with a confused look on his face. There was totally no chemistry between him and Aish, seriously other than his strong supple pecs and piercing blue eyes there's really nothing that convinced me why she fell for him. The songs that were sung in English sounded pretty weird to me as well, those that were sung in Hindi (think there was only 1 in the beginning) sounded way better. The movie was way too long as well, 2 hours is way too much for a pretty simple and formulaic love story.

Overall it was OK, I say go check it out if you are in a mood for a light-hearted musical-type movie . You might not remember much of the movie after you leave the cinema, but I am pretty sure you won't forget Aishwarya. It will be interesting to see if she can break into the American market in the near future.

Sunday, November 14, 2004

Computer Science night

I was chilling out with a friend a couple of weeks ago at the ultra cool Wine Bar when I noticed this flyer which was promoting the 'Law and Media" night on Wednesdays, where professionals from those two fields get free drinks by showing their namecards. So I asked my friend why there wasn't a Computer Science night for IT professionals (like yours truly). Her response was to laugh uncontrollably.

What's going on here? Yes law and the media industries are pretty important, but come on without computers both would be practically crippled! So how come we IT people don't get acknowledged? Is it cause IT professionals aren't thought to be cool enough? Well if that's the reason then it's bullshit, I will have you know that I was known as Fonzie back in the Computer Science faculty in university.

Saturday, November 13, 2004

Singapore does acknowledge its minorities

You know I have always thought that our country doesn't do enough for the minority races, that we are just an afterthought and hence don't really matter. I only realized how wrong I was a couple hours earlier.

A friend told me earlier that the episode of Singapore Idol that was screened yesterday paid tribute to us Indians and the Hindu festival Deepavali. I did not see it but the way she described to me, man I tell ya it made me feel so honoured to be an Indian in this great country of ours.

So how did they go about it you ask? Well they had the Singapore Idol contestants run around trees that they set up on stage. They also talked in strong exaggerated Indian accents. It's amazing how they manage to capture the very essence of what the local Indian community is all about with that little skit. Because that's what we Indians pride ourselves most on - for dancing around trees in our Bollywood movies and talking English in really funny Indian accents.

I have to admit I have never been close to my Indian roots, I was brought up in a very un-Indian way due to the involvement of my Chinese grandmother (RIP nana). But hearing my friend describe the Singapore idol episode really made me realize what it meant to be an Indian in Singapore, I can't wait to see the repeat next Saturday!

But I really think we should thank them for that lovely tribute. Maybe during the Chinese New Year holidays the local Indian TV channel could do a similar skit - get Indians to dress up in cheongsams and those funny red little shirts the men wear in those period movies. And then they could all talk English the way Jackie Chan does. And instead of dancing around trees, they could have those jumping zombies you see in those Chinese horror movies fighting shaolin pugilists who will use celebrated kungfu styles like the infamous Dragon's Dick style or the more flamboyant Monkey Inflicted with Mad Cow Disease style.

Hey it's the least we could do, we should let the local Chinese community feel as proud about their heritage, the same way they made us proud of ours.

Cooking for me

God I love teasing my mom. She's the totally straight and traditional Indian mother/wife type, so it's fun to tease her at times, especially when I get bored. Of course sometimes she totally doesn't get it and ends up getting upset but hey shit happens right. I mean come on, kicking my dogs while they are sleeping just to see their shocked faces when they get up does get boring after a while.

Anyway this was a conversation we had on thursday. She had just cooked her signature dish (ayam masak merah) which she does for special occasions.

Me : So has sis learned how to cook ayam masak merah yet ?
Mom : No she hasn't. And now with the kid it's gonna be hard to find the time.
Me : *Totally serious tone* Well think you better teach her fast. Otherwise who is gonna cook it when you are all old and bedridden or in a wheechair?
Her : *Looks at me in shock*

Friday, November 12, 2004

Entry of the week, hell probably the year

Really amazing entry, that's all I gotta say about it. Please do check it out. (click the title of this entry)

Repent sinner!

The one great thing about those Christian religious fanatics is how they are willing to preach to anyone regardless of color, race, religion or disability. Ok maybe they aren't too crazy about homosexuals (they refer to them as spawns of Satan) but pretty much everyone else is viewed as a potential member of their cult..oops i mean religion.

Here we see a website (found this at somethingawful) that a group of religious fanatics put up for the visually challenged. They obviously felt sorry for those whose eyes are too poor to read the Holy Word (aka the Bible), and therefore unable to save themselves from eternal damnation in the lake of fire. So they created this website with amazingly huge fonts, and colors so bright and contrasting that they would probably burn the eyes of any non-believer. Now those with poor eyesight no longer have the excuse to not accept the Lord because they cannot read his words. Praise the Lord!

(Click the post's title to see the site.)

A Party for Two

Not sure if you have heard this godawful song by Shania Twain and that guy from Sugar Ray. Yep you heard it right - a frontman of a rock band (albeit not a very good one) teaming up with a crappy country-pop singer. I would have been shocked if Aerosmith didn't do that Diane Warren song for the Armageddon movie a couple of years back, since then nothing shocks me. Rock has always been (and still is) about rebellion and not conforming to the norms, these guys make it seem like a joke.

But enough of my rock elitist rantings. I was talking about her new song. The song might be a joke, but the video is something else altogether. You get to see Shania Twain in rather hideous make up and top shaking her head as if her hair was being attacked by killer lice. Oh and she also gives out invitation flyers to everyone on the street but at the end its only the two of them at the party. Yeah that's one happening party. I bet the both of them won't be invited to any celebrity parties anytime soon. Click the title of this post to see the video.

p.s. I just love the word albeit, it makes me feel so smart. I shall name my next pet Albeit.

Thursday, November 11, 2004

I do NOT celebrate Deepavali!

Ok thanks to everyone who texted me wishing me Happy Deepavali but I do NOT celebrate it so doesn't make any sense to wish me, you might as well as wish me Happy Hannukah. Deepavali is only celebrated by the Hindus alright, that's a free cultural lesson for ya.

A conversation I had online yesterday:

Friend : Happy Deepavali!
Me : Thanks...but I do not celebrate it. I am not a Hindu.
Friend : Oh I'm sorry.
Me : It's ok I understand. It's natural to assume that I do because I am Indian right.
Me : So aren't you gonna ask me if I have to go down to the construction site* to work tommorow?
Her: I was just being polite ...
Me : Just teasing love.

*Construction workers in Singapore are almost always Bangladeshi workers.

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Techie News : Firefox 1.0 and Gaim

Yes the world's best web browser has just got its official release yesterday. If you haven't tried it, please do. Just give it a TRY. The main reason why I am completely devoted to this browser is simply because of one thing - extensions. Extensions are in layman terms, simple programs that you can add to the Firefox browser to extend its functionality. Some of the extensions I swear by are :

1. Adblock - which blocks ads on web pages from being displayed
2. Download Sort - automatically downloads files into different folders based on their file type (e.g. mpeg and avi files to folder "porn", mp3 and wav files to folder called "music".
3. Gmail notifier - checks your gmail account periodically and notifies you of new mail.
4. IEView - allows you to view the page in Internet Explorer for those pages that don't support Firefox, this saves you the hassle of opening IE and typing in the URL again.

Have also been using Gaim, a multi-protocol instant messenger that supports MSN, Yahoo and ICQ. Has some pretty nifty features like it tells you when someone has closed the conversation window on you (you know who you are!). It also has extensions - for example, a MSN-like pop up window when someone logs in/types a message/sends a message to you), a customisable text replacement feature (when I type "becos" it changes to "because"). You can also trigger actions when a contact goes online, useful when you wanna be reminded to tell them something.

RANT: I hate SMS part 345

A couple of days ago I got a text message from a former classmate of mine asking me to send me my address so that she can send an invitation for her wedding dinner in December. Call me old fashioned but I would think for something as important as a wedding you should call the person you wish to invite, rather that just text them. So I ignored it, figured she would call once she didn't get a reply. A day passed, she still hasn't contacted me. So I gave her the benefit of the doubt, maybe she was really busy with the wedding plans, so I replied and gave it to her.

5 minutes ago I got another text message from her. It said "Sorry but who is this?". I was like wtf, you invite me but you don't know who I am?? What am I, just some number you found in your phonebook that you just texted so that you would have more people at your wedding? Thanks for making me feel special ya! I didnt bother to reply this time. Fine fine call me petty, no one is perfect alright!

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Singapore Idol fever hits a blogger

Thanks to the Dipster for this link. Some chick has started a blog about Sylvester Sim of Singapore Idol fame. Click the title to see it. You HAVE to check it out, her devotion to her idol is pretty amazing.

You go girl! Sylvester definitely rawkz!!


It's Deepavali this Thursday, will be spending it with my sis at her place. But as usual, the mom tried to get me to go visit our relatives with her.

Mom: You wanna go with me to our relatives' houses for Deepavali?
Me : No.
Mom: Well you should, otherwise they might not come for Christmas at our house.
Me : Ah ok....and that would be a bad thing because?

Let me introduce you to one of the ancient Indian traditions. Where relatives visit each other on religious holidays not because they want to, but because it's a yearly obligation that needs to be fulfilled. If you visit my house for Xmas, I am obligated to visit you for Deepavali. Why you ask? I have no idea. But you don't argue with tradition.

I can't stand most of my relatives. I see them once a year and they always ask me the same stupid questions.

1. When you gonna get married? (even if I do I won't tell you)
2. Have you got a girlfriend? (No)
3. Why not? (I am waiting for your kid to reach legal age)
4. Have you finished army yet? (Jesus I finished it in 98)
5. Have you finished studying yet? (No, life is full of endless lessons to be learned)
6. Where you working then? (Same place that I told you last year)

Hope my sister invites some of her hot friends over though. Oh and also her smart ones as well. So that after I ogle at the hot ones I can go over and talk to the smart ones. Just to show you people I am not shallow.

Monday, November 08, 2004

I get no respect

I heard my colleague beside me sighing away (she was working on something on her laptop) so I asked her what the problem was. And she told me she was being forced to look at something that she didn't really want to look at.

My reply: "Yes I know I am not exactly the most good looking guy around but come on, that's a little harsh ain't it?"

Friday, November 05, 2004

Metal on the Airwaves..for a couple of minutes

Despite my warning my colleague decided to try playing my System Of A Down's self-titled album on the company stereo. The music came out of the speakers on the pantry and the receptionist desk. Needless to say the people sitting there were a little startled by what sounded like a half raving lunatic singing over loud distorted guitars. But she played it till the first song ended though, I expected to switch it off within half a minute. Respect!

Man I am starting to sound like Ali G. Me bloody poseur. I have become the very type of person I have loathed in the past.

Stupid behaviour caught on camera

I took this yesterday. A picture of a woman shielding her head with her hand in the rain. I do not get why people do this. Does the use of a hand actually help protect your head in a downpour?

Oh and this was my advice to a friend today:
Love is like an STD. Keep taking chances when it comes to women and sooner or later you will get it.

I don't know how I come up with these gems without any effort - it just hits me.

Thursday, November 04, 2004

Things not to say to a gal #345

Bumped into my childhood friend in the train yesterday morning. Haven't seen her in a couple of months so it was a nice surprised.

Her : *looks at my phone* Hey give me your phone, I wanna check the pictures you have in there.
Me : *hands it over* Sure. But I only have the pretty chicks in there though, no guys.
Her : It's ok just wanna check it out. *She browses the pictures*
Me : Oh...sorry, you aren't in there.

She handed me back the phone and proceeded to show me the length of her middle finger. Oh well it was nice to see you again dear.

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Ali G is in the house!

Alright I gotta take back my previous comment, this guy is funny as hell, but I stand by my opinion that his movie was still pretty lame. I been downloading clips of him as Ali G as well as Borat, and man I laughed my ass off on almost every one of them. There was this clip where he went as Borat, a reporter from Kazazthan(sp?), to a fox hunt in England. There he interviewed some of the protesters and lets them know that he kills bears back home.

Protestor 1: You shouldn't be talking to us, because we love animals!
Borat: We love animals too.
Protestor 2: Then why did you shoot them? (referring to the bears)
Borat: Err.....for fun.

Monday, November 01, 2004

Book: Andy Kaufman Revealed!

Been reading this book about Andy Kaufman, the very famous comedian whom most people would know as the foreign mechanic in the classic sitcom Taxi. This guy was a brilliant yet eccentric genius who pulled off the most bizarre and outrageous pranks on TV that almost always shocked the hell out of his audience.

One example - he invited a has-been actress onto his show and then proceeded to insult her in the worst way possible about her stagnating career. The poor woman was so distraught by his actions that she ran out of his show before it ended. The next day she went home and cut her own throat. Of course the media as well as the people who watched the show were furious with his behaviour and demanded he be made responsible for the tragic consequences.. When Andy Kaufman was asked about how he felt, he just shrugged and said it never happened.

But he wasn't in denial, it was the truth.

It was all a setup, the 'distraught' actress was in on the gag as well.
Pretty brilliant stuff eh?