Tuesday, March 30, 2004

I found this site called Blogger Idol. Basically it's some kind of online American Idol for bloggers. This week you are supposed to pretend you are a pageant contestant and answer a question. What the hell, I will take 5 minutes away from my porn and do this.

Question: Do you believe in premarital sex?

Me : No I don't. I think it's totally immoral to sleep with someone before you commit into the holy union sanctioned by the almighty father known as marriage. No this does not have anything to do with me not getting any action for the last 25 years!! How dare you imply that! I am in fact saving myself for that special someone, who hopefully my mommy will find for me before I reach 30. Cos thats when your sperm count and sex drive starts going down the drain. Yes for me sex should be only used for procreation , cos thats what God intended. But at least till then there's always anal (which isn't really sex). But ya it's a tad on the painful side. Please hurry mom.

Oh ya do me a favor and go to this website and enter your birthday if you haven't done so. But ONLY if I know you , otherwise don't do anything ( unless your life is so sad that you need to get a virtual birthday e-card from someone you don't even know) .

Once you have entered it, I will then be reminded of your birthday 2 days before the date. Whether I do anything about it is another matter. Depends on a lot of factors like whether you are a guy or gal, whether you are single, whether you are hot etc. etc.... nah just kidding . You can still be hot on the inside.

BTW thanks to that gal who send me that e-card on my birthday when I was all alone at home last year. I think Im falling in love with you , whoever you are.
I have been getting a lot of negative comments about my previous post. About how it sounded like I was gay or I needed to get a life!! Well alright it's pretty obvious where this comments come from. All of you are jealous !!! Jealous of the love that me and *my precious share! Jealous that you don't share the same deep meaningful relationship with your own phone that I have with my precious. Well I'm sorry but I can't be the scapegoat for your own problems. You know maybe if you talked TO your phone as much as I did you wouldn't have this problem. And showed it the love and attention it deserves. Spend a weekend just doting over it, like what I did last weekend. Clean its face with a nice cloth after you kiss it. I am telling you it will appreciate all these small gestures. And for god's sake do get a bluetooth adapter can if you have a phone with bluetooth. It's ridiculous NOT having it, it's like a stallion having a big dick and not using it.

*my precious = Sony Ericsson T610 going for S$138 with a new line with M1

Sunday, March 28, 2004

I am totally in love with my new Sony T610. I wish I could make love to it , thats how much I adore this little bundle of joy that has unexpectedly came into my life. I clean its little smudgy face every hour or so and then proceed to shower it with kisses, upon which i giggle cos it gets all smudged again.

But seriously if you are a computer geek you will love this phone. Just get a bluetooth USB adapter for like around 50 bucks and you basically do all kinds of stuff from your PC. There is this amazing freeware called Float's Mobile Agent which allows you to basically do everything remotely from the PC. (delete messages , upload pics/games/sounds). I downloaded loads of free ringtones and wallpaper and pictures of my dogs into my PC and just transferred them to phone. And now I'm using this Kill Bill theme which I downloaded from this website , it's uma thurman in that hot yellow suit thingy she wore in the movie. How cool is that !

Saturday, March 27, 2004

There was this group of kids who used to hang out together at this playground where they meet everyday. Then one day a few of the kids all take a sharp knife and sticked it into the back of the other kid. The kid looked at the other kids in horror as the blood gushed out of his back; he had no idea why people who he thought were his friends would stab him. The kid ends up in hospital for around 2 months. He finds out that his antics in the playground didn't sit well with the other kids. He doesn't understand why they did not tell him or at least give him a kick instead of stabbing him.

When he goes back to the playground he finds the other kids there. And the kids start to embrace him, as if nothing happened. No apologies are said. He plays with them at the playground because its the only playground there. Minus the antics. And he always watches for the knife. At home he looks at the wound on his back in the mirror. It has healed somewhat, but the scar that is left is really large and ugly.

And it still hurts like hell once in a while, especially when he looks at it.

Thursday, March 25, 2004

Ok part 2 of my transition to serious blogging. 'Serious' meaning superior to most other blog writers out there who talk about mundane things like how hip their new shoes are or how they are god's gift to women, how they got no social life and spent the whole weekend at home jerking off to porn or how they dont know what to do with their lives.

I have actually said this to many women but it's amazing how surprised they get when I tell them the truth. Most refuse to believe it or are totally skeptical, they would rather take the blue pill and remain in their make believe world. What is it I say that invokes this reaction ? Simple. Just one statement. "All men are perverts".

Yes I am sure most of the gals who read my blog will start thinking "hey that's not true, i know this guy who is totally decent and non-pervertic. BTW this Indian Stallion guy seems to be a totally hunk and I definitely wanna take him for a ride.". Well sorry but you are half wrong; that guy is a perv. I will explain why.

But first I will say it again; every guy is a perv. We all think perverted thoughts at least 90 percent of the time. We fantasise about every gal that we meet, ok almost every gal. If you are half-decent looking (well its actually more of if a guy considers you half decent) then chances are all your straight guy friends have fantasised about you, at least once, probably more. We have also thought of bizarre perverted behavior at least some point in our life. But let me re-assure you, thinking and acting them out are two totally different things. You ain't gonna see me wearing a cowboy outfit and spanking a gal wearing a cow costume anytime soon, but that doesn't mean I haven't thought of it alright. Besides cow costumes are pretty hard to find in Singapore.

There are basically three major type of perverts in existence: the silent perv, the normal perv, and the criminal perv.
The silent perv is the guy who everyone thinks is totally decent and could be the next head of the church. Basically the silent perv thinks perverted thoughts 80 percent of the time but hides his thoughts from everyone else ;because he either feels guilty about them or doesn't wanna let people think any less of him. Most guys are silent pervs.

The non-silent perv is the guy who thinks perverted thoughts as well as expresses them freely to people. This is me now. We are usually the people with the hippest shoes, don't ask me why. And we usually scare women away with our sexual frankness...sigh ... it has happened one too many times to me....DAMM WOMEN!!! WHY CAN'T THEY HANDLE THE TRUTH??? I HATE THEM!!!!!.....but anyway back to my point, yeah we are not that common and usually isolated and lonely and single.

Finally, you have the criminal perv. The criminal perv is the guy who actually acts out his perversions. We are talking sex offenders and the like. Ok nothing more about them, less said the better.

So there you have it. I hope this post does enlighten women-kind to the mystery that is man. I mean I do know a lot of you see my blog as source of moral compass for your own lives (which I am very honoured to be by the way) so I am just trying my best to fulfill that role. But a little money would help a long way to me doing that. I'm a couple hundred dollars short of a new Playstation 2 fyi.

Tuesday, March 23, 2004

I would like to post something political and serious for a change. A lot of people think I am this joker who just blogs about silly stuff.. Well first of all those people suck ass, and secondly this post shall prove to them that on the contrary the indian stallion can be serious and thought provoking.

Ok there have been a lot of issues that have been discussed in parliment lately , from the dramatic fall in the birth rate to legalising oral sex. But there is one issue that I think that has overlooked and I think should be addressed. Yes you know what I am talking about. I am talking about subsidies for penis enlargement surgery.

Yes I decided to be the spokesman for people who need the surgery, despite being more than adequate in that department. These guys had to go through adoloscence with low self-esteem and the fear of going to public showers. Some of them try and shrug it off when they reach adulthood. Others invent macho sounding nicknames that have animals that are supposedly known for their sexual prowess, just to mislead people about their own inadequecies when it comes to sex. Yes it's sad and pathetic but there are people who do that, believe me. But let us not be judgemental. You can't really blame these people for their shortcomings, is it their fault that they have 1/4 chinese blood and the only chinese feature that shows up physically is the one that counts the most ?? Do you know how difficult it was for them to go through army as a military policemen, having to see naked prisoners day in and day out and feeling so small in comparison?? No you don't ok, you have no idea what it was like !!!!

Ok I am getting a little carried away; what to do, I can't help but sympathise with these guys, eventhough I can't relate to what they are going through because as i mentioned earlier (but just to make sure you understand it) I have no problems with that area. But yeah the problem is penis enlargement surgery is pretty expensive in singapore now, and believe me I have checked every hospital its all the same price. But the government can help by heavily subsidising this surgery for those who need it. And this could help in solving the falling birth rate problem. So please talk to your neighbourhood MP and try and get him to raise this issue. Together we can make Singapore a better place for you and me.

Ok sorry to my 4 regular readers who couldn't see the scrollbars on my blog yesterday. I was testing out how to block the blogger ad at the top and I got it working on the Mozilla browser, but forgot to check IE. Paiseh. But seriously lor, give Firefox and/or Mozilla a chance. Once you import your IE bookmarks, install various plugins for Shockwave/Flash/Windows Media Player/Quicktime/Acrobat Reader and give up surfing sites that don't support non-IE browsers (like launch.com and Microsoft's windows update site) you will never wanna go back to using Internet Explorer. That is my promise to you, i am so sure that I am willing to bet my virginity on it. Not anal virginity though, you pervs.

And finally a joke I saw in a comment at Bibbs blog.

How many times does 44 go into 12?

Ask Michael Jackson.

Monday, March 22, 2004

I really love Elyse from that supermodel reality show! One gal was bitching that she didn't like her makeover cos it made her looked like a prostitute. Elyse then confessed to the camera that she didn't understand why , but then admitted that she didn't know much about prostitute fashion trends. Funny smartass chick.

Met my sis for dinner at Orchard after going for my pre-employment checkup, yeah I am getting my contract renewed. It was nice; haven't seen her in like 2 months. Updated her about what I been doing socially , which didn't take too long for obvious reasons. But I realised recently that I don't behave the same way around my sis as I do with other people. I don't really joke that much around her like I do with friends that I am very comfortable with. Which is kinda weird cos we are and have always been pretty close. Hmm one more question for the shrink.

Oh and also met a gal whose knowledge of music totally dwarves my own! This gal was into everything from Led Zeppelin to Mars Volta and she was recommending me so many bands that I never even heard of. And she even has vinyls and stuff! How cool is that ?

Sunday, March 21, 2004

I procrastinate too often for my own liking. Another weekend spent doing absolutely nothing of consequence except maybe the fact that I did manage to level up my Weapon Master/Fighter/Rogue in Neverwinter Nights a bit. Ya that was fun.

Nowdays I feel that every day I stay at home is one day of my life wasted and will never be able to gain back. And that's really depressing. Why don't I ever get to doing the things I know I wanna do? I got no idea.

Saturday, March 20, 2004

Friday Five

If you...

1. ...owned a restaurant, what kind of food would you serve?

Pizza. Cos I love pizza.

2. ...owned a small store, what kind of merchandise would you sell?

Probably would be a small neighbourhood CD store. And I would have like an favourite album of the month which I would sell at 5 dollars off the regular price just to get people to listen to it.

3. ...wrote a book, what genre would it be?

Self-help :

a. How not to invade the personal space of a member of the opposite sex: A semi-autobiography
b. How to make it seem like you have a social life when you actually don't
c. Sex tips from the self-professed Indian Stallion. (Harness not included)

Rock Literature

a. Why Linkin Park , Limp Biskit and 90 percent of the crap you hear on radio and MTV suck.
b. Mars Volta : The band that will revolutionize music as we know it.

4. ...ran a school, what would you teach?

Rock history! Everything from Led Zeppelin to Nirvana to Tool to Rage Against the Machine.

5. ...recorded an album, what kind of music would be on it?

Errr what else ? ROCK!!!!!!!!!!! Or more specifically spaced out prog rock fused with Led Zep. Ok basically ripping off Mars Volta.

Friday, March 19, 2004

I am at home on Friday night. Damm sucky.

Lost my handphone charger a couple days ago; I searched everywhere for it but I can't find it. I suspect it's one of my parents who took it by accident but can't prove it. So I was using my mom's big ass Nokia 3310 phone . But now she wants it back and wants me to use my dad's Motorola Startec phone instead. You know one of those freaking ancient ones. I asked her to use that phone instead and let me hang out to the Nokia one, cos she doesn't even use SMS, but she blatantly refused. And this was someone whom I actually had to force not too long ago to get a handphone. Which I am really regretting like hell now. Oh well I might just head down to M1 tommorow and get myself a new phone with a new line, I been looking to get a new phone recently. Read great reviews on the Sony T616 and LG VX6000.

Just saw the news on TV - The PAS apparently promised the Malaysian citizens that they will go to heaven if they voted for them in the coming elections. The PAS is an Islamic political party who to the best of my knowledge want to impose hudud laws (which are ancient Islamic laws practiced by countries like Saudi Arabia) on everyone, including non-Muslims. These laws include a really bizarre one where a woman who wants to report a rape has to have 7 (or 5 I can't remember) witnesses who witnessed the rape first-hand. Anyway a poll conducted showed that 16 percent still supported the PAS. Thats a whole lot of dumb people.

Thursday, March 18, 2004

Went out with a couple of friends to this Italian restaurant called Mama Lucia at Robertson Road. The food was excellent but the servings were pretty small though, Italians must have very small appetites. There was also this guy who went around the tables and played songs on his guitar, although we didn't really want him to sing at our table cos we were having a pretty engaging conversation. But this group of ang mohs at another table started dancing and singing along to him when he played to them. Well respect to them, I would never be able to do that.

The 3 of us had a pretty engaging conversation throughout the evening. Not intellectual or arty farty, but more towards stuff like why guys find 2 gals making out such a huge turn on, which I couldn't really answer. Can anyone? Then we started about our dream jobs and stuff. My dream job would be working any job that is directly related to music, because that's my biggest passion, as anyone who had to reject mp3s or CDs of my fav bands from me endlessly would know. Maybe something like a journalist for a music magazine. But well not very practical of cos, especially in Singapore. Reality really sucks doesn't it.

Tuesday, March 16, 2004

Where It's At!

Oh was watching this new reality show on Channel 5 about the search for America's next Supermodel. If you always thought that models were dumb and totally bitchy, then this show is NOT gonna change your mind. All except one seem to be a little light above the shoulders. There was this huge argument between them and one of the gals started blabbering and refused to stop and then while she was doing that, another model started singing. And then the singing model kinda forced all of them to hold hands after which she started praying to God and asking God to take away all the hatred and jealousy etc. etc. It was really bizarre I tell ya. But the smart model is probably the hottest, she's ultra thin but there's something about her that is so sexy.

I am such a Beck fan now, Odelay is such an amazing album that I can't believe that I didn't love it before. Was listening to Antichrist Superstar by Marilyn Manson today as well but somehow it sounded kinda tired. Hate to admit it but my music tastes seem to have mellowed. But hey I still dig Rage Against the Machine !!

Bought Get Born by Jet last Sunday. The song that is played during the commercial for iPod (the rock one) is from that album. Very old school garage rock sound not unlike the White Stripes , sounds pretty good so far.
If you are ever going to be a unix administrator , remember this : Make sure the root entry is always present in your /etc/passwd file before you save it. Yeah me and my really itchy hands. Thank god I had an angel to help me out , he probably heard me sniffing away in desperation in the server room. Man that was a scary as hell experience.

Met an acquaintance from JC (well he was in Tampines JC for the first 3 months anyway) but I kinda forgot his name. I have such a hard time remembering names, its freaky. Especially names of guys, gals I usually have no problem. I wonder why.

Monday, March 15, 2004

Went to the IT fair again. Quite happening I tell ya, way more happening than that ultra-chinese club Madam Wong the week before. If only they had this fair every week. But I didnt really like the idea of certain companies at the fair like nikon using chicks in really skimpy tops and shorts to like give away pamplets; it smacks of blatant sexism if you ask me. So NOT toxic.

I bought a Sony Discman for S$160, it was one of the lower range models without an inline remote but the sound was pretty decent and it plays MP3 CDs which was all I was looking for. I have never felt comfortable spending large amounts of money on myself when I didnt need to. Ok ya maybe I am just a really big miser. Speaking of miser I didn't leave a tip when I ate at aa restaurant where a friend was working at. But I didn't cos it just felt weird leaving her a tip at that time, I don't know why, like i would be insulting her or something. Ya sometimes I get all these weird thoughts and voices in my head. Hope she isn't bitter about that. Sorry babe!

Sunday, March 14, 2004

Picture courtesy of Sangeeta. The things people when they are jealous. Sigh.
OK been listening to Toxic by Britney like on repeat for like the whole freaking day. So much so that I decided that I am gonna use the word 'toxic' as a substitute for the the word 'cool' from now on. This is how you use the word in your everyday conversations.

"That was such a toxic performance."
"Dude that gal is so toxic I bet she has a burning sensation when she pisses!"
"That guy is like totally greenpeace! Loser!"

Spread the word people. Cos if you don't you are like totally greenpeace !!

Saturday, March 13, 2004

Ok went to the IT fair today with a friend, crowded as hell i tell ya. I was looking to get a discman but the Sony discmans there were pretty limited in selection so I kinda gave it a pass. I will be going down tommorow as well as they have huge discounts for the goods close to closing time as they try to clear their stock. Yes I am kiasu can. Trying to save as much money as possible.

So met 2 of my friend's friends at the fair as well and we went for coffee at Tower Records, had a pretty nice time they were pretty cool/interesting people. Which is much more than what I can say for an outing with another friend and his 2 friends a couple weeks ago. Sorry dude but I was seriously trying hard not to fall asleep that time, Work is NOT a fun topic first time you meet someone.

Oh ya saw a really dumb person today. he jaywalked outside City Hall right in front of a traffic policeman wearing a neon jacket . NO prizes for guessing what happened to him.

And saw something I never saw before : Perpetual lightning storm ! There was lightning every 3 seconds I am not kidding ya, it was really freaky !! I got a little nervous to be honest.

OK hate to admit it but I love that 'Toxic' song by Britney.
I downloaded the latest version of ICQ (2003b) and I was horrified. The freaking ads are huge , how the hell do people put up with them ? Anyway I got the crack for it and thankfully it did the trick. Get the crack from here!

Friday, March 12, 2004

I spent the last 2 days compiling and re-compiling a program with different options to try and make it run faster with a sample data set. The fastest I got so far was 1 hr 6 mins. I JUST got it down to 1 hr 5 minutes a few minutes ago. You cannot imagine the elation and pride I felt when I achieved that; it's times like these that make me remember why I love my job so much. I am gonna call myself the compilation king from now on.

Oh and something only a computer geek will understand :
I used vi so much the last 2 days that when I was typing out my report for the compilation results I actually tried to use "x" to delete words. Hahaha. How funny is that ?


Tuesday, March 09, 2004

And just like that my good day turns sour. Back to reality stallion. But the trip was fun while it lasted.

The problem with me is for some reason people can't seem to figure me out. I been called everything from arrogant to someone who only goes out with people if there was a woman in the group. And I don't know, for the life of me, why people cannot realise when I am kidding and when I am serious. Is it so ambiguous?
Shiok man working from home. Mainly cos I can work totally naked and listen to my hi-fi all day long. And also sneaked in 15 minutes of porn, can't do that at work , at least not since the day I got caught at work jacking off to "Snow White vs. the 7 Black Drawfs."

Playlist for today

Mushroomhead - XX
Highlights: Solitare/Unravelling, Never Let It Go
Beck - Odelay
Highlights: The New Pollution, Derelict, Novocane, Where It's At
Placebo - Black Market Music
Highlights: Taste in Men, Special K
Rage Against the Machine - Rage Against the Machine
Highlights: Killing in the Name, Settle for Nothing, Wake Up, Bombtrack

Yes I am trying to highlight my superior and diverse taste in music compared to the rest of ya. Take note and learn you common mainstream-loving people ! You SUCK!!!
I am really angry. Someone better ask me why I am angry. Nevermind I will just say it !
I am angry at the lack of comments for my last few entries ! Only 1 ! What the hell is wrong with you people?
Don't you know that I bask in your comments to compensate for my non-existent sex/social life !!?
Don't you know that I pretend that everyone who comments is one of my close friends to console myself of the fact that I have no friends ?
Don't you know that in the entry before that (the one with 5 comments), I actually faked the user TIP-OFF !!?
Don't you know that I actually find manties sexy but made fun of them so I won't be thot as gay ?
Ok the last one ihas no relation with the lack of comments; I just wanted to come out of the closet.
Anyway this means 1 comment for the last 4 entries. That just makes my blood boil! The travesty!
Yes I may be a comment slut/whore/gigolo/perv, but before you cast the first stone, look deep into your own hearts and you will find your very own comment whoreling (which is a midget whore for the uneducated) hiding behind the cold comment-phobic hearts of yours !

Monday, March 08, 2004

Thanks to the overwhelming response to my call for fellow rock fans to go see Incubus, I probably will not be going. Sigh it's kind of sad cos I really believe there's a ROCK in every one of us. Just that sometimes it takes a bit of digging to bring it out . As a acquintance once used to say , "ROCK NEVER DEATH!!!".

Hell look at me, up to Junior College I was listening to and very much in love with Mariah Carey. Ace of Base, Take That, that kinda stuff. My absolute fav was Mariah Carey, had all her albums till Daydream. But a friend introduced me to the acoustic sounds of Nirvana Unplugged with his guitar and I was hooked. Never looked back since then .

Sunday, March 07, 2004

So yes a couple of people confirmed with me that Madam Wong's is a super cheena place. Which I had to find out the hard way. But the name of the place should have been a big hint to me. I will blame my stupidity on the alcohol.
Was planning to go backpacking in Thailand for a week at the beginning of next month, but thanks to a sucky thing called work commitment I have to give it a miss. Which really blows cos it's something I really wanna do, mainly cos I haven't done it before. I have this urge to do new stuff lately, mainly because my life has been so monotonous late.

Planning to go to Incubus concert in KL next week if i can get someone to go with me; am not a huge fan but I desperately miss going to a rock concert and just going crazy. So far the 2 major concerts I been to (Placebo and POD) have been really amazing experiences; I totally lose myself in the music and just jumping my ass off like crazy to the music. Anyway Incubus is like one of the most fav bands of a friend of mine and she has really good music taste so they can't be half bad. So anyone interested ? Tickets (free-standing) are sold at Ticketcharge outlets for S$55 dollars a pop, in malaysia they cost RM 98 .

But I hope to see Mars Volta at least once. That would make my life complete. I am praying that they will come to Singapore or somewhere near soon. If it happens I swear God I will go back to church and sing your praises for like at least a year.
If you need proof that the Internet is full of people weirder than yours truly, then you need look no further.
check this out Manties.

I don't know who is the weirder party, guys who wear these or gals who find guys wearing these a turn on. But then again I have to admit the blood red ones don't look half bad.

Link courtesy of Something Awful

Saturday, March 06, 2004

So went to this pub called Crazy Elephant with a couple of friends yesterday, they had a pretty decent band playing covers of Led Zep, Hendrix and Pearl Jam buut the crowd there a bit on the old side. After which we headed down to Madam Wong , it was my first time there. Well what can I say, clubbing is definitely not for me. The music was pretty ok at first , they were playing hip hop/r and b songs like 50 cents and beyonce but then it degenerated to Bon Jovi and Linkin Park and then to godawful techo shit. So I stood at the side leaning against the wall with a beer bottle in my hand, trying to look as cool as possible. That didn't really come off.

Tuesday, March 02, 2004

Indian Stallion


Battle Rating

Indian Stallion was found, still alive, lodged in the throat of a dead man

Can your fishy beat Indian Stallion ?

Heh the fish is as dark as me. As handsome also. But I think one of the attributes should be charisma , agility and stamina aren't really my strong points.

Monday, March 01, 2004

I do not understand women.
Friendly and chatty one day, totally ice cold the next. I am totally confused.
And sucky thing is that it happens to me all the time.
I do not understand women.