Thursday, December 30, 2004

Fav Song of the Year?

Mine has to be Gwen Stefani's What Are You Waiting For? I just love the song to death! Catchy as hell, a bit loony, and just refreshingly different from all the other generic pop songs that are almost always about love. Bleh.

Other songs that have been on continuous repeat on my player this year are:

Blood Brothers' Love Rhymes With Hideous Car Wreck
Britney's Toxic
REM's Man on the Moon (started listening to it again after reading Andy Kaufman's biography - the song is about him)
REM's Everybody Hurts
Franz Ferdinand's Take Me Out
Killswitch Engage's Rose of Sharyn (Amazing lyrics)

So what's yours, let me know. Unless it's The Reason by Hoobastank then forget it. I'm kidding, i'm kidding.

Wednesday, December 29, 2004


Conversation with my mom a couple of days ago :

Mom: Did you know that our church now offers funeral services. You pay 3k, and when you pass away they do all the arrangements for the family. It was not easy for me and your dad when your grandpa died because of the suddenness and our state of mind. At least me and dad can spare you that. We are gonna sign up for it soon.

(Yup death is a regular topic at the dinner table for our family. And it's actually one of the more cheerful ones.)

Me: Sounds great. But in that case do I still need to be around during the funeral since they will take care of everything? Because I would probably be really upset if I was around - maybe I can go to Bintan and mourn there till the funeral is over.

Mom: *looks at me in horror*

Hmm she was muttering something shortly after that exchange, something about going to the lawyer's office and changing the will. Not a good sign.

Another difference between men and women

Yes we all know that men and women are different in many ways. Like how women can be so unbearably annoying while men can't. But one of the biggest differences between us is when it comes to the skill of gift wrapping.

I wonder sometimes if women were born with the skill of gift wrapping, it comes so naturally to them. Me I see gift wrapping as simply a means to keep the identity of the gift secret until the appropriate time. My gift could be wrapped with newspaper for all I care, it wouldn't matter to me. It just doesn't make sense to me to spend so much effort on something that would be torn into shreds in a couple of seconds.

But it ain't the same for women. From my observations, women take their gift wrapping rather seriously, especially for close friends. It's almost as if they consider the gift wrapping as an extension of the gift itself. Yeah I know it sounds crazy but it's true. I do try to put effort when wrapping gifts for my female friends - but it always comes out like crap. I just don't have the talent for it I guess. Hence I always get my sis or another gal friend to wrap the gifts I have bought for other women. And I proceed to watch in awe as I see them wrap the gift meticulously, cutting and scotch-taping with great precision; they will even go to the extend of making a little ribbon or flower-like ornament to stick on top of the gift. Amazing.

So are there any guys who are well-versed in gift wrapping?

Sunday, December 26, 2004

Racist humor

That's the beauty of racist humor. If a white guy wrote that comic strip, it wouldn't be published by any paper. And even if it did, no one with would dare to laugh at it or they risk being labelled a racist. But because it's a black guy who is writing it, it's humorous.

It's amazing how our minds work sometimes.


I found about this latest fad at a week ago. For the technologically handicapped, bluejacking basically means using your phone's Bluetooth connection to send anonymous messages to someone else.

It's really simple to do - You basically create a new contact in your address book, and place your message in the name field. Then search for any Bluetooth devices in the general vicinity and send the message (contact).

Been having a lot of fun doing it the past few days while commuting. You would be surprised at how many people leave their handphones' Bluetooth connection on. The best targets are people who give their phones names like "Asshole" or "ClitorisGal" - I am serious there are people who do that. Anyway this are some of the messages I sent the last couple of days:

To "Asshole" : Named your phone after yourself eh?
To "T610": Still T610? Upgrade lah!
To "NokiaXXXX": Nokia sucks! Get Ericsson!
To "k700i": Sony Ericcson sucks!

I tell you the look on some of the people's faces when they see the message is priceless. K you might say that it's childish and a little sad that a 26 year old man finds joy in annoying other people. You would be right, but it's so much fun so screw you.

Saturday, December 25, 2004

Indian Stallion : Indian TV Star

K my humiliation is complete. It was on the local TV Tamil news a couple of minutes ago. I can't believe they ran the bit with me in it. The interviewer commented that I spoke Tamil like a white guy.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas to my faithful readers out there. Especially to my young (but old enough to be legal) single female readers!

I always wondered who was the first person to shorten the word "Christmas" to "Xmas". And what was he thinking while he did it? My guess would be it would possibly be some big shot from the catholic church shortly after Jesus went back to heaven. Here is probably what happened :

Catholic Council Member 1 : We have a problem. People are complaining that the word "Christmas" is too long. It costs too much to put it on banners and Christmas cards. We need a solution. And fast. Otherwise our plans to make Christmas the most commercially profitable religious holiday will be damned to hell.

Catholic Council Member 2: Hey how about substituting "Christ" with the letter X to make it Xmas? Yeah I know Christ was crucified on the cross, died for us yada yada .....but he's already in heaven so I don't think he would make a big deal about it. Besides it's kinda cool having an initial as a name. We could say stuff like "Our savior was X. And that's why we have Xmas!". Kids would dig it no?

And that's how the word "Xmas" was invented.

A little too honest perhaps?

Saw this on the website of a local model:


Alright so we all have heard rumors about how some models do go to extremes to keep their figure, but respect to her for being brave enough to admit it in public.

Click title to go to said website.

Friday, December 24, 2004

A Real Xmas story: Part 2

Congrats to C who got it spot on. The white letter was actually a red herring by yours truly, as was the creepy Santa statue on the right. My dad had mistakenly mixed up the 3 parts of the tree - apparently the middle part is at the bottom, the top is in the middle and the bottom is at the top, thus resulting in that hourglass shape.

Of course the middle part didn't fit into the base stand with the legs, that was probably done by the manufacturers as a failsafe to prevent the wrong part from being inserted first. But they did not count on the resilience and stubborn-headedness of a former army regular. My dad, with the help of a drill and screws and loads of scotch tape, manage to fit the middle part into the stand. Ditto for the other 2 parts.

Of course when I saw it I realised what had happened. So I decided to take it apart and re-assemble it again. But soon I realised that would be a really difficult task due to the screws and scotch tape. So we left it that way and after the festivities we will have no choice but to dispose of it.

And it keeps getting better. My sister just informed me that a TV crew from the local Indian TV channel has requested to visit our house tommorow morning at 11. And she said YES. I thought she was making a real corny joke but apparently she's not. I hope they don't ask me anything because I can't speak Tamil to save my life. Maybe I will pretend to be mute. Or comatose. And I REALLY hope they do not take a picture of the tree. If there is a God then please make sure that doesn't happen. I promise to stop watching porno for a week if you do.

p.s Fine fine you got me, I am not that clever - the letter and the santa were not planted.

A Real Xmas story: Part 1

I have always been the one to set up the family xmas tree every December. But since I was deliriously sick for the whole of last week, my dad decided to take over the task instead. I told him to call me if he needed any help and then proceeded to drop into my bed.

Later that day I heard a lot of banging, drilling and scotch-taping going on in the hall. I wasn't too sure why that was needed for setting up the tree but was too sick to care - I decided that he was probably done with the tree and was hanging up some other decorations. When I woke up in the evening, the tree has been set up. Here is a picture of the tree:

Try and figure out what is wrong with that picture. I shall reveal the answer in part 2 of "A Real Xmas Story" later today.

Thursday, December 23, 2004

How often should a couple meet?

This entry is inspired by Xiaxue's post. She was blogging about this guy she dated for a while, he would only meet her once a week. And she compare that to this gal whose blog she read, she was mentioning how her boyfriend met her everyday for the last 7 years.

So what do I think? Well to me it's pretty simple. It depends on how far apart the two of them live doesn't it? Speaking hypothetically (because I am single), if my girlfriend lived around the east side then yeah I would probably meet her everyday....K maybe not everyday but almost.

But no way in hell I would do the same if she stayed somewhere like Jurong. I mean Jesus it takes an hour and a 1/2 to reach that area from where I live. Like hello that's 3 hours in total a day traveling to and fro. That's 90 hours worth of time a month that I could better utilize by watching porn or some other recreational activity. I would probably meet her like once a week in that case.

A real life example: I once dated this girl and things were going really well...until I found out she lived at Bukit Batok. Immediately I told her it wasn't going to work because I don't believe in long distance relationships. Sigh that's fate for you - we were really compatible in every other way. But I think most people would agree with me long distance relationships rarely work out. I am pretty sure I did the right thing. Yup I did. I am sure.

Why are dogs cuter than men?

Sometimes I wonder how the Lord works. Every Xmas my sister invites her hot friends over. And they would go completely gaga over my dog, especially Boy (he's the white fellow in my blog profile picture). They will go on about how cute he is, hug him and shower him with kisses. And Boy loves the attention - he will whine and whimper when they put him down. That manipulative asshole.

First let me make it clear that it's not like I am jealous, it's silly to be jealous over a dog. But it sucks when I'm probably just as cute but I don't get the same treatment or at least close to it. In fact most of the time they either ignore me or cast disapproving glances in my direction while whispering among themselves. Especially when they catch me admiring (they would call it ogling) them. And when I try the whimpering trick Boy employs, they look at me like I'm crazy. I guess it doesn't work when guys do it.

But anyway my point is God kinda screwed up there. If he had made men look as cute to women as he did dogs, then we would be practically irresistible. And then we didn't need to try so goddamn hard to impress them.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Really short person?

I was talking to my colleague about a staff who works in our company. This particular person was a little...well ok actually a lot on the short side. I didn't know her name.

Me: You know that really short gal that works in XXXX department? *indicating her height with my hand."
Colleague: Hey! That's mean of you to call her that.
Me: What ? Would you rather if I call her a midget then? Or "physically stunted person" ? Or how about growth-resistant?

Seriously I thought "really short" was already pretty nice. Is there a nicer way to put it?

Dilbert again

Gotta love Dilbert. I can almost always relate to the situations in them. Especially this one. God there are times when I have to dig my nails into the table just to stop myself from strangling the customer sitting opposite me.

Click the title to see the full sized strip if you have trouble viewing the words.

Monday, December 20, 2004

Ewido security suite

Highly recommend you download the ewido security suite. It scans your PC for "Trojans, Worms, Dialers, Hijackers, Spyware and Keyloggers" that might be missed by your antivirus software. I gave it a try and actually found a bloody trojan horse in my windows folder - it somehow managed to go through my firewall and was undetected by my norton antivirus.

It provides continuous protection for 14 days, after which you have to scan your PC manually which you can do like once a week. Click the title to download it.

Saturday, December 18, 2004

Bad Sex

The winner of the annual literary British prize for bad sex in fiction really deserved it in my opinion. Some of the prize-winning phrases :

"Slither slither slither slither went the tongue"

Notice the use of repeated words to emphasise the ..err..slithering of the tongue and to reinforce in the reader's mind the imagery of it being a snake.

"...since it has the entire terrain of her torso to explore and not just the otorhinolaryngological caverns -- oh God, it was not just at the border where the flesh of the breast joins the pectoral sheath of the chest "

What woman can help but quiver when a guy describes her pectoral sheath and her otorhinolaryngological caverns.

Another author writes :

"The smell of his armpits was on her shoulders -- a flower depositing pollen on a hummingbird's forehead."

Comparing armpit scent to pollen, you can't get more romantic than that.

Friday, December 17, 2004

Why Ryan why!!

Damm you Ryan. Why did you have to knock up Theresa?? You had it all - a loving family, a cool brother and an adoring and hot girlfriend despite her peculiar fashion sense. But no that wasn't enough for you was it? You had to bone your ex-girlfriend in a cheap motel. And now she's pregnant.

I hate you Ryan. Everytime I saw you it was like I was looking at a mirror. But I can't say that anymore. I mean even if I knocked someone up, I wouldn't leave everything I had to go back to the crappy town that I came from, just to help the knocked woman raise the kid. Yes you might think you were just being responsible, that you were doing the right thing, but the right and responsible thing to do would have been to wear a rubber before you screwed her wouldn't it? Once you have gone down the path of irresponsibility you should have stayed on it, you stupid idiot.

I don't know what's gonna happen in the next season of OC. But whatever happens you no longer mean as much to me anymore. I will turn my affections to Seth instead, he is far more deserving of them. You can go to hell as far as I care, you don't exist anymore in my mind.

Thursday, December 16, 2004

Tis' the season for giving

It's that time again. I have slightly over a week to get Xmas presents for everyone I care about. Which equates to everyone who is getting gifts for me because they care about me.

I wish everyone would follow my system of gift-buying. Basically I ask the person 2 or 3 things that they would like for Christmas and get one of them. In this way they get something that they want - but there's still an element of surprise. Pretty ingenious no? Of course be sure to mention a budget if you have one, otherwise something like this might happen.

And it beats buying a present for someone you like and then finding out months later that that she gave it away to her boyfriend because she doesn't want it. Sigh people are so cruel sometimes.

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

10 Songs

1. Open up the music player on your computer.
2. Set it to play your entire music collection.
3. Hit the “shuffle” command.
4. Tell us the title of the next ten songs that show up (with their musicians), no matter how embarrassing. That’s right, no skipping that Carpenters tune that will totally destroy your hip credibility. It’s time for total musical honesty.
5. Write it up in your blog or journal and link back to at least a couple of the other sites where you saw this.
6. If you get the same artist twice, you may skip the second (or third, or etc.) occurances. You don’t have to, but since randomness could mean you end up with a list of ten song with five artists, you can if you’d like.

001. Rage Against the Machine - Bullet in the Head
002. Foo Fighters - Enough Space
003. Fugees - No Woman, No Cry
004. Ocean Colour Scene - Get Blown Away
005. Bonnie Tyler - Total Eclipse of the Heart
006. Tenacious D - Kyle took a bullet for me
007. Doves - Friday's dust
008. Killswitch Engage - When Darkness Falls
009. Pinback - Trainer
010. The Doors - Riders On The Storm

via Shaky Kaiser

Thank God there ain't any embarassing songs on that list.

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Sense and sensibility

A word of advice to the women out there. Don't ever let your man tape you while both of you are engaging in any sort of sexual activity.

It seems like common sense. But time and time again I read accounts of how the enraged ex-boyfriend mass distributes videos or pictures of his ex-lover after being dumped.

Read of one such account yesterday on another blog. This girl studying in a college in India was taped by her boyfriend with his handphone while she gave him a blowjob. The girl broke up with him a couple weeks later, and the jilted lover decided to teach her a lesson by distributing the video to his friends. Of course the video started spreading like wildfire and the two of them ended up getting expelled. Apparently fellatio on campus property is a big no-no.

There was a similar case in Singapore a couple years back as well. An NUS student had sex videos of her sent to her fellow classmates and lecturers by her ex-boyfriend. She had given the password to her NUS email to him while they were together. Talk about trusting someone and getting screwed in public for it.

Of course I do understand the appeal of making your own porn video. So to the women out there, even if you want to do something like that, make sure you keep the clips and not him.

Monday, December 13, 2004

Singapore Cane

I happened to chance upon this ECW wrestling match while channel surfing yesterday. Normally I would chuckle at two big sweaty men groping each other and immediately switch channels, but this time something stopped me. I heard the commentator referring to this wooden rod that one of the men was using to prod the other's genitals as a "Singapore Cane".

Immediately I was intrigued. I have been in Singapore since I was conceived but not once have I heard of this "Singapore Cane". I focused hard on the long hard wooden rod as it was being hammered repeatedly onto the guy's crotch - there didn't seem to be anything Singaporean about it. So I decided to do an internet search on "Singapore Cane".

And this is what I found:

"In 1994, an 18-year-old U.S. citizen named Michael Fey (who had been in Singapore for five years) sprayed some graffiti on buildings, egged some cars, and was found with stolen items. He was arrested and sentenced to four months in prison, two thousand dollars in fines, and six lashes with a rattan cane. So, ECW picked up on it for their feud with The Sandman and Tommy Cairo, and instead of calling the bundle of wood a kendo stick (as it had been called in wrestling for years), they called it a Singapore Cane. The name stuck."

- From Pro Wrestling Insider

Not sure how reliable the information is because some of the facts mentioned above are wrong - the guy's name was Michael Fay and he spray painted the cars rather than just egg them.

But I think it's kind of cool to have our country's name associated with a weapon that dispenses swift justice with maximum pain in minimal time, with optional bleeding. But wouldn't a much cooler name be "The Fay Cane"? You know because fay (fairy) has a gay connotation and so it would be like the worst humiliation in wrestling to be spanked with one.

Sunday, December 12, 2004

Down with the sickness

Been down with the sickness, specifically the flu, for the entire weekend thanks to the constant air-conditioning in the hotel the past week. Add to that I went to watch 2 movies in a row with a friend on Friday night (can't even remember the last time I did that - probably like never) in a freezing cold cinema. The first was National Treasure which I absolutely hated, probably because I was already pretty delirious at that point and all those action sequences weren't making it any better. But then again probably not, the plot was ridiculous and far fetched way too often in the movie - lump this into the "brainless action movie" category. Friend I went with loved it though.

Second movie we went to see after that was shortly after midnight and it was Shutter. Yup the Thai horror movie that I watched a month back. I don't know why but I just can't say no when a girl asks me to go watch a horror movie at midnight. It wasn't a waste of money, I did notice some scenes in the movie that I missed the first time around, like clues in the opening credits for example. And some scenes still made me jump in my seat. Alas friend covered her eyes during the scary bits instead of grabbing on to me as I had hoped. But catch it if you haven't, it's probably the best horror movie I seen in a long time.

By the way to anyone looking for an XMAS present for me, the new Blood Brothers' CD Crimes would be a good place to start.

Friendships revisited

For God's sake, I wasn't serious. So to those who asked me if I was really upset (3 people so far), I really do appreciate the concern but the answer is NO. Please do not take everything i blog seriously.

Friday, December 10, 2004

Dying of Boredom

Thank god it's the last day. Been doing duty in this conference at Marina Mandarin Hotel for the last 3 days, it was boring as hell I tell ya. There was this cute girl manning the HP booth beside ours but god she was like totally stuck up! Talked to her the first day but she was rather unresponsive. The next 2 days she refused to even smile when I walk past. Oh well she's probably a lesbian.

The conference itself was a huge bore and a total flop. The amount of attendees was pathetic, and considering the amount of effort we put it really seems like a waste of money. Oh well.

Went out with this gal whom I gotta know recently for dinner and waffles a couple of days ago. It didn't go very well. Ok I know I am no Tom Selleck, but come on it's not like I am Quasimodo right? She barely looked at me the whole evening, which is more awkward than it sounds considering I was sitting directly opposite her. Ya I know what you must be wondering, I am wonderinge as well how unlucky I must be to have met 2 lesbians in a week.

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Jamie Cullum annoys me.

This guy tries to hide his lack of talent by covering other artists' songs. So far I have heard two really bad covers of "High and Dry" and "The Wind Cries Mary" from him. Hey Jamie, here is an idea, how about actually showcasing your own material rather than relying on proven hits to sell yourself? Well at least one good thing came out of it - it got me digging out my "Bends" CD to listen to the original version of High and Dry.

Speaking of music, this year has been a rather disappointing for me in terms of good music. I would say I have only heard one album that I would consider essential listening this year - The End of Heartache by Killswitch Engage. But I did finally realize the brillance of System of a Down, bought their Toxicity album 3 years ago but never really got into it till I listened to it again 6 months ago. They are officially on my "bands to catch live before I die" list now.

So what is the song High and Dry about anyway you ask? Ok you probably didn't ask but I will tell ya.

Two jumps in a week
I bet you think that's pretty clever don't you boy.
Flying on your motorcycle.
Watching all the ground beneath you drop.
You'd kill yourself for recognition.
Kill yourself to never ever stop.
You broke another mirror.
You're turning into something you are not.

High and Dry from the album "The Bends"

To me it's about not changing yourself (and trying to be something you are not) to please others. Go check the album out if you haven't already, it's a classic.

Sunday, December 05, 2004

Weblog Awards

So it's the annual weblog awards again, where the stars of the blogging world get honoured for their writing efforts the past year. I wasn't nominated which kinda sucks because I am way better than some of the crap that was nominated. But I shall not be bitter, I am honoured just to be considered.

Anyway I would just like to highlight my 3 favourite blogs of the year :

1. Dianarchy
2. WebMiztris
3. Something Awful

Was writing out this whole mini review thing for each blog but it kinda sucked so I took it out. Go check them out alright if you haven't done so already. The common factor in all 3 blogs are that they are funny as hell.

Friday, December 03, 2004

DBS phishing site

OK this is freaky. There is a phishing website that emulates DBS online banking website. The following is from the official DBS website :

"Please be advised that there is a phishing site called attempting to illegally obtain sensitive information from you by pretending to represent DBS Bank.

Please do NOT, under any circumstances, visit the phishing website, as it is likely to contain a virus."

I checked out the fake site and it did look authentic enough to possibly fool anyone who isn't IT-savvy. My question here is why isn't DBS doing anything about it? The least they could do is to get the local ISPs to block the IP address/URL so that no one locally can access it. If the local ISPs can block the Playboy website (I tried it out reluctantly earlier for the sake of proving my point) then they should have no problem banning that site.

I wonder how they will handle complaints from their customers who get fooled by the phishing site in the future; will they compensate them if their accounts get compromised? Or will they just say something like "I'm sorry but we had a disclaimer on our official website so it's your fault that you didn't read it." ?

Singapore Idol contestants lip-synching?

K I can't verify this but saw this on Sara's blog. Is this true? Because that would be hilarious - the SG contestants lip-synching on a singing talent contest. Only in Singapore, people.

Thursday, December 02, 2004


You know sometimes you think you know who your friends are. And then you realise that they are completely different from what you expected, that they weren't as amazing as you thought initially. Unfortunately pretty often you only realise this in times of great need.

Right anyway let me explain why I brought this up. I rarely bring up personal stuff on this blog, but this has affected me to such a degree that I just need to write about it.

Today was my last day of my first ever reservist training. For the last month prior to the training I been telling a lot of gal friends about how it was my first one and that I was a little nervous about it. I dropped major hints about how much it would mean to me if someone actually "surprised" me at the gate on the day that I booked out. I even gave them the location of the camp and the time I was booking out as well. I didn't want them to spend too much effort on me you see.

But when I booked out earlier this evening, there was no one. I figured they were probably late, so I hung around the camp entrance for an hour. And an hour after that. After which it finally dawned on me that no one was coming. I never felt more alone my whole life than at that very moment.

I must have told at least 10 gal friends about it. Yet not even one of them turned up. I am seriously re-considering our friendships in light of today. It was a really tough 4 days, I barely made it through alive. It would have meant so much to me to have a nice soft shoulder to cry on. So to those of you who I told but didn't bother to turn up - I don't know if we are still friends anymore.

Monday, November 29, 2004

I think I'm dumb....and I am not having fun

K me not smart at all. It was a stay-out course, which means I get to go back every evening. I was the only idiot there with a bag full of clothes and stuff. Give me a break, it was my FIRST reservist outing you know.

Jesus it was boring as hell though. I can't reveal any details because it is supposedly highly classified. But this is just the theory part. The actual exercise seems to be rather interesting from what the other guys told me. We shall see.

I will be back

I am off to the army ! Will be back on Thursday. You know I been blogging for quite a while and I can humbly say that I have reached a fairly respectable social standing within the blogger community.

Therefore I have decided this would be a good opportunity to give something back to the blogging community. I asked a friend of mine to be the guest blogger for the next couple of days. He is a blogging newbie so give him a bit of leeway alright. Alright fine the only reason I am bringing it up is so that you guys don't wonder why the writing has suddenly gone all crap.

No pressure dude, knock yourself out. Keep it real dawg ! Respect!

Sunday, November 28, 2004

Anonymous yet again (Because I am in a blogging slump)

Haha I am closing onto you my friend. Little do you know that every comment you post brings me one step closer to unearthing your identity. Your latest comment was ...well only 2 words - "mr desperado". You might think it reveals nothing, but you would be wrong.

Now I know that you are working in a field where minimal or no writing skills are required. Eloquence is also probably not a pre-requisite in your field. This narrows down the list of suspects considerably. So far the evidence suggests that you might be in the army, but I can't be completely sure. Keep commenting, sooner or later I shall find out who you are. And once I do...ok I haven't figured that part out. But it will be something nasty. *evil laughter*

Coolness is an inborn thing.

Yo check it ! It's my homie from the hood, but he is without his bitches in the pic cause they cramp his style. He is as cool as they come, he's got his own personal style, hell it's so unique that no one else even dares to try and copy it. To see more cool people head on over to Street Style. Respect!

p.s Gotta know about this site through Something Awful.

Saturday, November 27, 2004

Anonymous strikes again

"they dont like you. but dont wanna be outrightly rude. some self examination needed." - Mr./Mrs. Anonymous's comment from the previous entry.

I am starting to hate this "Anonymous" person. He/she keeps on flaming me on my blog. Couple months ago I got flamed (he/she called me a sick perv) for describing Maia from Singapore Idol a MILF. And now this. Who are you Anonymous? Why do you torment me so? What have I done to you I ask? Were you the kid I beat at the chess competition back in high school - I still remember the look in your eyes when I laughed and exclaimed how fun it was raping your king of his defences. It still haunts me to this day.

Anyway I shall answer you. First of all I practice self-examination almost everyday. Especially when I am watching porn. So thanks but you are preaching to the converted.

Secondly, I accept rejection as a part of life. I have realised that when you possess a big dongle it tends to intimidate most women - thats almost always the reason why they reject me to be completely honest. I didn't wanna bring this up because (as most of you probably know) I am not one to talk about my huge shiny trumpet. But it is the truth and I decided it's time I share something personal on this blog.

The only issue I have is they refuse to admit to me that it is the REAL reason for rejecting me. Instead they come up with completely ridiculous reasons like the ones mentioned in the previous entry. I mean come on do I look like an idiot?(do not answer that).

There was this one gal who once told me I was invading her space. And I was like "Come on just admit it's because I have a huge dick." But she refused to admit it; instead she stuck to that ridiculous "you are invading my space" story, saying how creepy it was when I called her in the middle of the night and made those grunting sounds. Like hello forgive me for having a sore throat!! And I was trying to be romantic by calling her at 3 am cos it was a full moon that night, that only happens like once a month.

So anyway I hope I convinced you now anonymous. There is really too much strife in this world, let's not add to it. I will gladly be your friend if you be mine.

Friday, November 26, 2004

Bad luck with women

I have always had bad luck with women. Mainly because for some weird reason or possibly fate I always tend to meet those who lead really busy lives. When I ask them out they would tell me they are too busy with work to go out. In fact some of them are so busy then don't even have time to answer when I call them. I really feel for them, I can't imagine living a life that busy.

If they are not busy then they are clinically depressed. There was this one chick who I asked out for coffee once - she told me she was going through a depressoion so bad that she would probably not go out for the next 7 months. Sigh I hope she's ok now. But I did see her at a cinema a couple of weeks ago with a guy who must have been her shrink.

If they are not busy or clinically depressed they are in some binding agreement that prevents them from going out with me. This gal once told me she couldn't have dinner with me because she had this mutual agreement with a guy in China who she was kinda seeing; that they would not go out with any other members of the opposite sex. But she did express regret for not knowing me before she committed into that agreement; she told me if she did then she would have put in a clause to exclude me from the terms of that agreement. How sweet of her.

Yup that's the kinda luck I am having. But I just wonder sometimes where all the women who are not incredibly busy, clinically depressed or caught in a binding agreeement are.

Speaking of women I ain't gonna be seeing any for the next week. Yep I am off to the army to serve my country for 4 intense and gruelling days from Monday to Thursday. NOT looking forward to wearing my army fatigues and combat boots. Sigh the thought of crawling through mud in the rain ...there goes my flawless complexion. Shall be taking pics with my phone if possible , will post them when I get back !

Saturday, November 20, 2004

Miss Singapore World 2004

Click the title above to see our representative for Miss World 2004. An excerpt from her interview.

What was the funniest/most embarrassing moment of your life?

The incident happened many years ago when I started modelling. I was doing my very first fashion show and I made mistakes during the sequence. It looked funny to the audience and at the same time embarrassing for me.

Oh stop, that's so hilarious I can barely contain my laughter! Miss India is pretty hot but she didn't fare much better on the same question:

Fortunately so far I have had no funny or embarrassing moments in my life.

I don't even know what to say to that.

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Man Stabbed in Melee at L.A.-Area Rap Awards Show

Got this off yahoo news, click the title to see it. The attacker caught everyone at the show by surprise when he pulled out a knife out of his jacket. One witness who is being treated for shock said that she couldn't even remember the last time someone tried to kill someone else at the show without the use of a gun.

Sigh I am seriously bored at work. Just finished rehearsing my song and dance routine for the boss of the boss tommorow. Listened to all my CDs in my CD pouch. Did little else. It's times like this where I really regret not being a model when I had the chance.

CDs I listened to at work today:

The End of Heartache by Killswitch Engage
Penance Soiree by The Icarus Line
Relationship of Command by At the Drive-In
Franz Ferdinand by Franz Ferdinand

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Bride and Prejudice

I was so inspired by last Friday's Singapore Idol episode that I decided to get in touch with my roots. So I decided to go catch Bride and Prejudice with a friend last Saturday. Alright I really wanted to see Shutter (a Thai horror movie) but the friend declined because she didn't wanna grab me if she got scared, she didn't trust me after the last 'accident'. Sigh I get no respect I tell ya. You accidentally grab a chick's boob once and you are instantly branded a pervert for life. Anyway we compromised and went to watch Bride and Prejudice instead, with the condition that my hands would be visible to her at all times during the movie.

About the movie, well first let me talk about the good stuff. Aishwarya Rai is gorgeous as hell and it was really hard to take my eyes off her. I was never a really big fan of her in the past but man she's just so damm gorgeous in this movie. Ok I already mentioned that. There were plenty of funny moments in the movie as well, the best of which was probably the snake dance. And most of the dance numbers in the movie are pretty well executed, even if the songs themselves weren't so memorable.

Ok the bad : The lead actor was horrid, he spends the whole movie with a confused look on his face. There was totally no chemistry between him and Aish, seriously other than his strong supple pecs and piercing blue eyes there's really nothing that convinced me why she fell for him. The songs that were sung in English sounded pretty weird to me as well, those that were sung in Hindi (think there was only 1 in the beginning) sounded way better. The movie was way too long as well, 2 hours is way too much for a pretty simple and formulaic love story.

Overall it was OK, I say go check it out if you are in a mood for a light-hearted musical-type movie . You might not remember much of the movie after you leave the cinema, but I am pretty sure you won't forget Aishwarya. It will be interesting to see if she can break into the American market in the near future.

Sunday, November 14, 2004

Computer Science night

I was chilling out with a friend a couple of weeks ago at the ultra cool Wine Bar when I noticed this flyer which was promoting the 'Law and Media" night on Wednesdays, where professionals from those two fields get free drinks by showing their namecards. So I asked my friend why there wasn't a Computer Science night for IT professionals (like yours truly). Her response was to laugh uncontrollably.

What's going on here? Yes law and the media industries are pretty important, but come on without computers both would be practically crippled! So how come we IT people don't get acknowledged? Is it cause IT professionals aren't thought to be cool enough? Well if that's the reason then it's bullshit, I will have you know that I was known as Fonzie back in the Computer Science faculty in university.

Saturday, November 13, 2004

Singapore does acknowledge its minorities

You know I have always thought that our country doesn't do enough for the minority races, that we are just an afterthought and hence don't really matter. I only realized how wrong I was a couple hours earlier.

A friend told me earlier that the episode of Singapore Idol that was screened yesterday paid tribute to us Indians and the Hindu festival Deepavali. I did not see it but the way she described to me, man I tell ya it made me feel so honoured to be an Indian in this great country of ours.

So how did they go about it you ask? Well they had the Singapore Idol contestants run around trees that they set up on stage. They also talked in strong exaggerated Indian accents. It's amazing how they manage to capture the very essence of what the local Indian community is all about with that little skit. Because that's what we Indians pride ourselves most on - for dancing around trees in our Bollywood movies and talking English in really funny Indian accents.

I have to admit I have never been close to my Indian roots, I was brought up in a very un-Indian way due to the involvement of my Chinese grandmother (RIP nana). But hearing my friend describe the Singapore idol episode really made me realize what it meant to be an Indian in Singapore, I can't wait to see the repeat next Saturday!

But I really think we should thank them for that lovely tribute. Maybe during the Chinese New Year holidays the local Indian TV channel could do a similar skit - get Indians to dress up in cheongsams and those funny red little shirts the men wear in those period movies. And then they could all talk English the way Jackie Chan does. And instead of dancing around trees, they could have those jumping zombies you see in those Chinese horror movies fighting shaolin pugilists who will use celebrated kungfu styles like the infamous Dragon's Dick style or the more flamboyant Monkey Inflicted with Mad Cow Disease style.

Hey it's the least we could do, we should let the local Chinese community feel as proud about their heritage, the same way they made us proud of ours.

Cooking for me

God I love teasing my mom. She's the totally straight and traditional Indian mother/wife type, so it's fun to tease her at times, especially when I get bored. Of course sometimes she totally doesn't get it and ends up getting upset but hey shit happens right. I mean come on, kicking my dogs while they are sleeping just to see their shocked faces when they get up does get boring after a while.

Anyway this was a conversation we had on thursday. She had just cooked her signature dish (ayam masak merah) which she does for special occasions.

Me : So has sis learned how to cook ayam masak merah yet ?
Mom : No she hasn't. And now with the kid it's gonna be hard to find the time.
Me : *Totally serious tone* Well think you better teach her fast. Otherwise who is gonna cook it when you are all old and bedridden or in a wheechair?
Her : *Looks at me in shock*

Friday, November 12, 2004

Entry of the week, hell probably the year

Really amazing entry, that's all I gotta say about it. Please do check it out. (click the title of this entry)

Repent sinner!

The one great thing about those Christian religious fanatics is how they are willing to preach to anyone regardless of color, race, religion or disability. Ok maybe they aren't too crazy about homosexuals (they refer to them as spawns of Satan) but pretty much everyone else is viewed as a potential member of their cult..oops i mean religion.

Here we see a website (found this at somethingawful) that a group of religious fanatics put up for the visually challenged. They obviously felt sorry for those whose eyes are too poor to read the Holy Word (aka the Bible), and therefore unable to save themselves from eternal damnation in the lake of fire. So they created this website with amazingly huge fonts, and colors so bright and contrasting that they would probably burn the eyes of any non-believer. Now those with poor eyesight no longer have the excuse to not accept the Lord because they cannot read his words. Praise the Lord!

(Click the post's title to see the site.)

A Party for Two

Not sure if you have heard this godawful song by Shania Twain and that guy from Sugar Ray. Yep you heard it right - a frontman of a rock band (albeit not a very good one) teaming up with a crappy country-pop singer. I would have been shocked if Aerosmith didn't do that Diane Warren song for the Armageddon movie a couple of years back, since then nothing shocks me. Rock has always been (and still is) about rebellion and not conforming to the norms, these guys make it seem like a joke.

But enough of my rock elitist rantings. I was talking about her new song. The song might be a joke, but the video is something else altogether. You get to see Shania Twain in rather hideous make up and top shaking her head as if her hair was being attacked by killer lice. Oh and she also gives out invitation flyers to everyone on the street but at the end its only the two of them at the party. Yeah that's one happening party. I bet the both of them won't be invited to any celebrity parties anytime soon. Click the title of this post to see the video.

p.s. I just love the word albeit, it makes me feel so smart. I shall name my next pet Albeit.

Thursday, November 11, 2004

I do NOT celebrate Deepavali!

Ok thanks to everyone who texted me wishing me Happy Deepavali but I do NOT celebrate it so doesn't make any sense to wish me, you might as well as wish me Happy Hannukah. Deepavali is only celebrated by the Hindus alright, that's a free cultural lesson for ya.

A conversation I had online yesterday:

Friend : Happy Deepavali!
Me : Thanks...but I do not celebrate it. I am not a Hindu.
Friend : Oh I'm sorry.
Me : It's ok I understand. It's natural to assume that I do because I am Indian right.
Me : So aren't you gonna ask me if I have to go down to the construction site* to work tommorow?
Her: I was just being polite ...
Me : Just teasing love.

*Construction workers in Singapore are almost always Bangladeshi workers.

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Techie News : Firefox 1.0 and Gaim

Yes the world's best web browser has just got its official release yesterday. If you haven't tried it, please do. Just give it a TRY. The main reason why I am completely devoted to this browser is simply because of one thing - extensions. Extensions are in layman terms, simple programs that you can add to the Firefox browser to extend its functionality. Some of the extensions I swear by are :

1. Adblock - which blocks ads on web pages from being displayed
2. Download Sort - automatically downloads files into different folders based on their file type (e.g. mpeg and avi files to folder "porn", mp3 and wav files to folder called "music".
3. Gmail notifier - checks your gmail account periodically and notifies you of new mail.
4. IEView - allows you to view the page in Internet Explorer for those pages that don't support Firefox, this saves you the hassle of opening IE and typing in the URL again.

Have also been using Gaim, a multi-protocol instant messenger that supports MSN, Yahoo and ICQ. Has some pretty nifty features like it tells you when someone has closed the conversation window on you (you know who you are!). It also has extensions - for example, a MSN-like pop up window when someone logs in/types a message/sends a message to you), a customisable text replacement feature (when I type "becos" it changes to "because"). You can also trigger actions when a contact goes online, useful when you wanna be reminded to tell them something.

RANT: I hate SMS part 345

A couple of days ago I got a text message from a former classmate of mine asking me to send me my address so that she can send an invitation for her wedding dinner in December. Call me old fashioned but I would think for something as important as a wedding you should call the person you wish to invite, rather that just text them. So I ignored it, figured she would call once she didn't get a reply. A day passed, she still hasn't contacted me. So I gave her the benefit of the doubt, maybe she was really busy with the wedding plans, so I replied and gave it to her.

5 minutes ago I got another text message from her. It said "Sorry but who is this?". I was like wtf, you invite me but you don't know who I am?? What am I, just some number you found in your phonebook that you just texted so that you would have more people at your wedding? Thanks for making me feel special ya! I didnt bother to reply this time. Fine fine call me petty, no one is perfect alright!

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Singapore Idol fever hits a blogger

Thanks to the Dipster for this link. Some chick has started a blog about Sylvester Sim of Singapore Idol fame. Click the title to see it. You HAVE to check it out, her devotion to her idol is pretty amazing.

You go girl! Sylvester definitely rawkz!!


It's Deepavali this Thursday, will be spending it with my sis at her place. But as usual, the mom tried to get me to go visit our relatives with her.

Mom: You wanna go with me to our relatives' houses for Deepavali?
Me : No.
Mom: Well you should, otherwise they might not come for Christmas at our house.
Me : Ah ok....and that would be a bad thing because?

Let me introduce you to one of the ancient Indian traditions. Where relatives visit each other on religious holidays not because they want to, but because it's a yearly obligation that needs to be fulfilled. If you visit my house for Xmas, I am obligated to visit you for Deepavali. Why you ask? I have no idea. But you don't argue with tradition.

I can't stand most of my relatives. I see them once a year and they always ask me the same stupid questions.

1. When you gonna get married? (even if I do I won't tell you)
2. Have you got a girlfriend? (No)
3. Why not? (I am waiting for your kid to reach legal age)
4. Have you finished army yet? (Jesus I finished it in 98)
5. Have you finished studying yet? (No, life is full of endless lessons to be learned)
6. Where you working then? (Same place that I told you last year)

Hope my sister invites some of her hot friends over though. Oh and also her smart ones as well. So that after I ogle at the hot ones I can go over and talk to the smart ones. Just to show you people I am not shallow.

Monday, November 08, 2004

I get no respect

I heard my colleague beside me sighing away (she was working on something on her laptop) so I asked her what the problem was. And she told me she was being forced to look at something that she didn't really want to look at.

My reply: "Yes I know I am not exactly the most good looking guy around but come on, that's a little harsh ain't it?"

Friday, November 05, 2004

Metal on the Airwaves..for a couple of minutes

Despite my warning my colleague decided to try playing my System Of A Down's self-titled album on the company stereo. The music came out of the speakers on the pantry and the receptionist desk. Needless to say the people sitting there were a little startled by what sounded like a half raving lunatic singing over loud distorted guitars. But she played it till the first song ended though, I expected to switch it off within half a minute. Respect!

Man I am starting to sound like Ali G. Me bloody poseur. I have become the very type of person I have loathed in the past.

Stupid behaviour caught on camera

I took this yesterday. A picture of a woman shielding her head with her hand in the rain. I do not get why people do this. Does the use of a hand actually help protect your head in a downpour?

Oh and this was my advice to a friend today:
Love is like an STD. Keep taking chances when it comes to women and sooner or later you will get it.

I don't know how I come up with these gems without any effort - it just hits me.

Thursday, November 04, 2004

Things not to say to a gal #345

Bumped into my childhood friend in the train yesterday morning. Haven't seen her in a couple of months so it was a nice surprised.

Her : *looks at my phone* Hey give me your phone, I wanna check the pictures you have in there.
Me : *hands it over* Sure. But I only have the pretty chicks in there though, no guys.
Her : It's ok just wanna check it out. *She browses the pictures*
Me : Oh...sorry, you aren't in there.

She handed me back the phone and proceeded to show me the length of her middle finger. Oh well it was nice to see you again dear.

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Ali G is in the house!

Alright I gotta take back my previous comment, this guy is funny as hell, but I stand by my opinion that his movie was still pretty lame. I been downloading clips of him as Ali G as well as Borat, and man I laughed my ass off on almost every one of them. There was this clip where he went as Borat, a reporter from Kazazthan(sp?), to a fox hunt in England. There he interviewed some of the protesters and lets them know that he kills bears back home.

Protestor 1: You shouldn't be talking to us, because we love animals!
Borat: We love animals too.
Protestor 2: Then why did you shoot them? (referring to the bears)
Borat: Err.....for fun.

Monday, November 01, 2004

Book: Andy Kaufman Revealed!

Been reading this book about Andy Kaufman, the very famous comedian whom most people would know as the foreign mechanic in the classic sitcom Taxi. This guy was a brilliant yet eccentric genius who pulled off the most bizarre and outrageous pranks on TV that almost always shocked the hell out of his audience.

One example - he invited a has-been actress onto his show and then proceeded to insult her in the worst way possible about her stagnating career. The poor woman was so distraught by his actions that she ran out of his show before it ended. The next day she went home and cut her own throat. Of course the media as well as the people who watched the show were furious with his behaviour and demanded he be made responsible for the tragic consequences.. When Andy Kaufman was asked about how he felt, he just shrugged and said it never happened.

But he wasn't in denial, it was the truth.

It was all a setup, the 'distraught' actress was in on the gag as well.
Pretty brilliant stuff eh?

Sunday, October 31, 2004

I am pissed. And I have a good reason to be

The Stallion doesn't ask for much. One of those things he asks for is to be left alone on Sunday. But sometimes my family just don't get it. They know that Sunday is lesbian porn day and he is not to be disturbed while he is in his room, but guess what, they did !! Isn't it enough that their filial son works like a dog from 11 am to 6 pm everyday? Isn't it enough that I leave my plates in the sink rather than letting them clear it for me, and sometimes even out of the goodness of my heart I even wash them MYSELF?

You would be surprised but the answer is no. Instead I get interrupted with a knocking on my door. Let me tell ya there are few things in the world that are more irritating than getting interrupted while watching porn. Apparently my dad has to go out to meet some clients, so it is left to me to bring our 2 dogs for a walk so that they can do their business (the dogs, not my dad). I used to wonder why my dad always went for this business talks where he would only come back like 5 am in the morning. Especially since he's working as a security guard for a company. But in our household we do not talk to the MAN unless spoken to. I once gurgled a word by accident when I was 6 and got a beating for it - hey in those days the term child abuse hasn't even been invented.

Anyway I paused my movie and brought the two of them down for a walk. But the two ff them decided to take their own sweet time to take a crap. So after waiting for an eternity (almost 5 minutes), I gently asked them if they could like speed it up so that I could get back to my movie. They ignored me completely, like as if I was talking to a wall or to two people incapable of comprehending English. Well that pissed me off even further. So I started kicking their stomachs to help their with their constipation. And you know what it actually worked they were crapping all over the grass less than a minute after my help. Ok there was some blood as well but it was minimal alright.

Moral of the story is don't interrupt a brother watching porn and for god's sake give up your crap when you are supposed to.

Listening to : OK Computer by Radiohead

Dressing your pets up is a NO NO

Got this link off copygodd about a company that charges 200 bucks for halloween costumes for people's pets. Yes I hate it when people do that. Dogs are not people you idiots, they don't need nor like clothes. Its unnatural, demeaning to the poor animal and robs them of what little dignity they have.

Excerpt :
"Dogs like to feel glamorous," says Eva Hallstrom, 41, who started the business with her sister Eleonor Hallstrom, 45, after being laid off from a publishing company last year. "You give them a nice haircut, a bath, you put on a beautiful outfit, and they are just so happy."

Can anyone say "projection of own desperate desires to an animal"? That chick seriously needs to get laid.

Click the title for the full article.

Oh and I absolutely love the new Gwen Stefani single.


Cellular was a really good show. A few gaping plot holes but very entertaining nonetheless. Go check it out alright.

This being Singapore I knew I would definitely run into her again someday. Well that day happened to be today, right after the movie. A shitload of bad memories came flooding back the instant I saw her. It's pretty surprising how badly I was affected eventhough I haven't seen her for almost 3 years. Guess some wounds just take a lot longer to heal.

If you are still looking for the punchline in this entry, there isn't one.

Thursday, October 28, 2004

Anger leads to hate ....hate leads to.....

Teenagers nowdays scare me. A lot of them seem to be so angry. Yeah I been there. The whole "no one understands me except my dog" phase. The "why is everyone against me, even my dog" phase. The "why is everyone getting laid except me" phase. But even back then I was more depressed about them than angry.

And believe me, I had plenty of other reasons to get angry when I was in school, like not getting the respect I deserved from my peers even when I assumed the coveted position of Chess Club President. Still remember that kid who threw my chess piece into the trashcan. I could have taken the angry route and just called my mommy, but I just silently scrummaged through the trash and retrieved it. So yes at the end I smelt like crap, but bloodshed (fine probably would have been all mine) was averted. So what if I became the laughing stock of the school, deep in my heart I knew Jesus was proud of me. And that's all that matters. Well at that time at least, I left the church soon after.

But I digress, we were talking about teens. They blow up so easily! So I shall be a smart wise old ass now and dispense some advice to the youth of our generation. *In a sagely wise voice* Life is shitty enough as it is and will only get worse once you start working. There ain't no point getting angry over insults or criticisms by people who don't even know you and who you don't even care about. Save that anger for more important things, like when you get screwed over at work by your colleagues or betrayed by your friends. Cos those things will hurt a lot worse.

Ashlee Simpson does a Milli Vanilli

Got this off Dawn's blog. Yep Ashlee Simpson was caught lip-synching during a performance on Saturday Night Live recently. The vocal track for a song she "performed" earlier got mistakenly played again during this song. After getting caught the poor rocker panicked and did some strange hodown dance. I guess she decided since everyone now knows she can't sing, that they might as well know she can't dance too.

She immediately blamed her band after the song for playing the wrong song (?). But then changed her story later on her website and said it was due and said it was due to vocal tiredness from touring. And then once again said it was acid reflux.

But it gets better. Apparently, Ashlee Simpson recently told Lucky Magazine (heh ironic now) in an interview that "I'm totally against it and offended by it. I'm going out to let my real talent show, not to just stand there and dance around. Personally, I'd never lip-synch. It's just not me."

Get the video of her live performance here

Another post about blogging

Blogging seems to be the next big fad nowdays. Everyone seems to be getting into it and it's like featured in the local media every other week. But I am skeptical as to how many people will actually stick to it, I think for most the novelty will end after a while.

I remember way back in my time when blogging was in its infancy and barely heard of. It was so backward that we blogged by emailing our posts to the blogger staff, who would then upload it up to our blog website after a day or two. You kids nowdays got it easy I tell ya!

Oh and I think I milked the MILF cow long enough, this will be the end of that topic. But I am still curious about who the anonymous friend was. Oh well she probably will never admit to it now for fear of being publicly identified by me. But if you are, don't worry I won't do that. But that nasty comment kinda started me on a blogging roll though, had been feeling rather unispired before that. It almost makes me wish for someone else to verbally insult me now. Hmm maybe thats why the Xiaxue chick blogs as often as she does?

Wednesday, October 27, 2004


I am now regretting something I did a couple of hours ago, something that I now cannot undo. Sometimes I forget to stop and think before I say or write something. Stupid stallion!

The Identity of Miss Anonymous

Yes after some sleuthing around I think I figured out the identity of that anonymous friend. At first I couldn't believe she was the one, it just seemed improbable. But as someone in CSI once said, the evidence doesn't lie. Unless it's been tampered with.

Yep, it was my mom.

It has to be her. She's been unusually distant towards me the past few days ever since that anonymous comment appeared. She has stopped reminding me at 8 pm everyday to have my dinner, like she lovingly used to. She no longer thanks the Lord immediately after I have return home daily safely and without a non-indian woman on my side. She no longer calls me "my little bubu", now she just calls me rather coldly by my name.

I reached the lowest point in my life today. You know you really screwed up your life when even your own mom thinks you are a sicko. Where do I go from here? I seriously don't know. But I do know one thing, life just doesn't seem so funny to me anymore.

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Moro Islamic Liberation Front (MILF)

Wow. Apparently MILF is also an acronym for a Muslim separatist group. Who would have thought? Click the title to read more.

UPDATE: Just realised quite a number of women don't know what the other meaning of MILF is. Most guys know it because you see all the time on porn websites. Anyway it's an acronym used in American Pie the movie to describe Stickler's mom. What it stands for I leave it up to you to find out.

Rant : Cheapskate Handphone Owners (CHOs)

I have no problem with people being miserly. As long as their cheapskateness doesn't affect me. Hence the reason for this rant. This rant is about cheapskate handphone owners (CHOs) who try to reduce their phone bill at the expense of annoying other people.

So this is what they do when they wanna call someone. A CHO knows that if he makes the call it will eat up his talktime. So what they do is they call up the person, but they hang up before the person gets a chance to answer. Then the onus will be on the other person to call back the number that is displayed on their handphone's caller ID. So the result is because the CHOs are on plans with free incoming calls they don't need to spend a cent on the call .

Ok if you are of those who does the above let me explain why it annoys other people. Firstly, it is a fact that the majority of people in Singapore now have plans with free incoming calls. You don't wanna pay for the call eventhough you initiated it, yet its perfectly fine for the other person to use up his outgoing minutes to call you is it? Stop being a selfish ass will ya!

The second thing is the one that annoys me the most. When I get a call I usually answer it almost immediately. So what happens when I get a call from a CHO is I say hello and realise its a damm engaged tone. Do you know how annoying that is?? And how stupid I feel for saying hello and getting an engaged tone for a reply?

So the point of the story is if you can't afford to make calls to people from your handphone then don't. Call from a public phone if you have to, I don't give a shit how you do it. But if I get another CHO pulling that same trick on me...he or she will have hell to pay. And this includes everyone, even young moms.

Monday, October 25, 2004

My first day of rehabilitation......

Didn't start well at all. I noticed this girl standing right outside the train doors. I knew as soon as the doors open she would try and rush in without letting me go out first. And for some reason that pissed me off. And when the doors DID open, she did as I expected, she tried to squeeze between me and the door frame to get into the train. So I decided to be an asshole. I refused to give way as I walked out and I ended up trapping her between me and the door frame. She got pissed and glared at me. Oh well serves you right, that will teach you to wait for people to exit the train before you enter it.

But I swear to God that was my only act of disrespect towards women the entire day. I didn't ever dare check out any chicks..err I mean gals at the university. I mean I couldn't take the risk that some of them could turn out to be young moms could I?

The rest of the day was spent mourning the loss of a friendship. It is never easy is it, especially so when I still haven't figured out who it is. Words can't really express my sorrow, so I would like to let the lyrics to this song do it.

Numb and broken,
Here I stand alone,
Wondering what were
The last words I said to you
Hoping, praying that I'll find a way
To turn back time,
Can I turn back time?

To see the rest click here. Call me alright. Let's work this out.

Sunday, October 24, 2004

A Friendship Lost

"Hi Bert - I am a friend of urs but after seeing you use the term MILF* to desribe Maia I think we won't be talking much more in the future. At least, I got to see what kind of a sick person you really are." - Anonymous

Sometimes it takes an anonymous comment on a blog entry to make you see the light. All this time I thought I was just another normal and horny male. But today I realised that it isn't true. I now know that I am sick. Very sick.

I been sick all my life but never realised it till now. How could I have not seen it before? I have shown absolutely no respect for hot young moms by lusting over them everytime i see one, like a young hot mom loving sicko. But not anymore, I am gonna change my ways starting from this very moment. No more treating women like sex objects from now on. And that means no more spanking or whipping women in bed. No more calling women chicks. No more sex jokes regarding women. No more asking female friends to make out in front of me. No more asking female friends if they wanna "ride the stallion". K the list goes on but you get the point.

And I have you to thank for that, whoever you are. Thank you for showing me what I have become. But I am deeply sorry that it came at a very high price, that it cost us our friendship. Yet I have no one to blame but myself. Well maybe I would blame Backdoor Joe as well, I think he kinda played a part into transforming me to the sick sex monster that I am. And lets not forget that priest who wanted to show me his "holy staff" when I was an altar boy. No no I must stop blaming others and take responsibility for my actions! And I will.

But whoever you are, I just have one favor to ask you. And hope you do this because I am sure your friendship meant a lot to both of us. All i ask is you to give me one more chance. Especially if you are hot.

*MILF = a word to describe a hot mom, an acronym for MOM I LIKE TO F**K

Still listening to: Down with the Sickness by Disturbed

How to counter a lame pick up attempt

A friend just told me about this incident in which this short Indian guy tried to pick her up in the train.

Man : Hi, I am Sunil. You are really beautiful, can I get to know you? *stretches out hand*
Friend : Hi, I am ...NOT INTERESTED.


Speaking of lame, let's move our attention to M$'s Windows Service Pack 2 (SP2). Installing it was a huge mistake on my part. Almost as huge as me trusting Backdoor Joe my cellmate during my brief stay in prison (but that's a tale for another day). After I installed it the file transfer rates of my p2p application slowed to a crawl. Mind you I use my p2p application to download totally legal stuff like bible stories, and not mp3s cos we all know that's against the law!

Anyway I found out that the reason for the slowdown was that SP2 limits outgoing TCP/IP connections to 10 and queues the remaining. There is a hack to increase the connections to 50, email or message me if you need it.

Saturday, October 23, 2004

Singapore Idol: The MILTOA is out

Man I can't believe it. The pretty boy is somehow still in the competition despite his obvious lack of singing ability, I was pretty sure he was next to go. I didn't watch the show on Friday but was Maia really that bad?

Actually I am kinda surprised that the government didn't hire foreign talent to take part in the competition, considering the fact that the winner will compete in the next World Idol. Will we finally see a real Singaporean* representing our beloved country in a major competitive event ? We shall see. But I won't be surprised if at the last minute the winner of Singapore Idol withdraws for "personal" reasons and they get a professional singer from Phillipines or US to replace him/her in World Idol.

*Someone who can sing the national anthem and speak half-decent English.

UPDATE: After reading the comment on this post, I have to admit it was rather insensitive of me to call Maia, the 21 year old single mom on Singapore Idol, a MILF. Yes I think she is hot and she has a pretty nice rack to boot, but it was wrong of me to do it. Hence I changed the title to something more tasteful i.e. MILTOA (Mom I Like To Ogle At). Hey everyone makes mistakes right?

Listening to :
Down with the Sickness by Disturbed

Friday, October 22, 2004

The problem with deadpan humour.

It is a problem when the listener doesn't notice the joke and takes it seriously. Then they usually they start to think the person is really dumb for saying something so ridiculous.

Take Ali G for example. He interviews all these celebrities and asks them the most stupidiest questions, like he once asked a former director of an ER unit what character he plays. The director assumes the guy is an idiot because he didn't realise it was a joke.

It's a bit similar to mine at my workplace. Sometimes I get the impression that some of them think I am less capable than I really am mainly because of the way I joke, they seem to miss it quite often.

Ok this is in reply to a comment on my previous post. My reply was kind of long so I made it an entry. Quite smart eh?

Thursday, October 21, 2004

CDs for the blind

My company recently came up with this new software and we were distributing it for testing, so my colleague went and bought those CD Labelling Kits to make it look professional. He printed out a couple and showed them to me. Then...

Me: They look nice. But is it possible to have like Braille printed on the labels as well?
Him: *Confused* Don't think so. Besides if it was possible it would probably spoil the CD.
Me: *shouting* So are you saying we are excluding blind people from using our software?? Don't they have the right to use it as well!!?
Him: *Looks at me like I am crazy*

The problem with my brand of humor (and I been told this by a few people already) is my delivery. When I tell a joke it's usually in a deadpan manner. So people think I really mean it even when I say the most ridiculous things. And sometimes they even think I am an idiot, which does work to my advantage.

Oops Ali G ain't an Indian

Thanks to an anonymous comment, I found out that Ali G is actually not Indian or even Asian for that matter. See, who says the internet is only good for porn and preying on young chicks? Oh wait that was me. Anyway he is actually a white Jewish guy called Sacha Baron Cohen. But whatever race he is I still don't find him that funny. Then again humor is subjective ain't it? I have friends who found Scary Movie hilariously funny, but for me it was one of the worst movies I seen.

Rant: What do you listen to?

One of the most annoying replies I can get to the question above is "I listen to everything." God I hate it when someone says that. No one listens to everything. And seriously it shows an utter lack of personality doesn't it? What do you listen to ? Anything. What kind of movies do you like? Any kind. What tv shows do you watch? Anything. What do you like to f**k? Anything.

Think I need to change my image on this blog. Gotta know a new chick recently and was asking her what her impression of me was from my blog. She responded that I sounded like a chee-ko-pek. And unfortunately she isn't the only one. I don't get it, what is it about my blog that makes chicks think I am a pervert? Is it fair that I be judged as a pervert, just because I watch "Backdoor Sluts Part 3" in the nude with a barbie doll in my hand every night before I go to bed? I think not. And I urge you not to, at least not until you seen that movie. Then there are those who think I gave myself the nick Indian Stallion as some sort of public display of my sexual prowess. But if you read a few entries ago you will know that that nick was given to me by my grandma, there is nothing remotely sexual about it. Sigh sometimes it's just so depressing to be misunderstood.

But yeah maybe I should make changes to this blog to change people's impression of me. Maybe fill the background with pictures of little children dressed up as cherubic angels or something to that effect. Whatcha think?

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Damm freaking blogging hell

Blogged an entry at work but it hung on me during posting. And it was a good one too. God I hate it when that happens.

Sunday, October 17, 2004

It's Stallion, not Pony

Thanks to Dipa I now have women calling me Indian Pony. To all those who keep teasing me with that I beg you to stop. Mainly because my grandma gave me the nick "Indian Stallion" way back when I was a kid because I used to run like the wind. Before she passed away (RIP Grandma) she told me that I should always keep that nickname in her memory. So please I beg all of ya not to tarnish my memory of Nana.

On a (very slightly) lighter note there were 2 celebrity deaths last week. Christopher Reeve and Rodney Dangerfield. Unfortunately for old Rod he had the misfortune of passing away in the same week as Superman, man talk about choosing the wrong week to die. The poor fellow barely got a mention in the local papers as far as I know, and this is the king of self-deprecating humor that we are talking about. RIP Rodney.

About Reeve here is a rather brutal article courtesy of Maddox, he wrote it like a year back. And I have to admit he makes a pretty good point.

It's not easy being me. When I was born, my doctor told my mother "I did all I could but he pulled through anyway" - Rodney Dangerfield

Psycho Biatch

Psycho bitch (PB) sent another huge barrage of angry SMSs my way yesterday. PB is a chick that I actually kinda fancied a couple months back because her intense passion for music was even more than mine, it was really great to finally find someone who shared my passion for rock music. But yes it proved too good to be true.

What happened was I had a falling out with a mutual friend of ours SK. Apparently SK told her about the spat between her and me. OK I am not sure what exactly SK told PB but it must have been something pretty bad, because PB then sent me really insulting SMSes to me (and this on the week of my birthday) telling me I should grow up, that I don't know how to appreciate SK, that I had a shitty character, that I was a perv (ok that I can't really argue with but it still hurts), that I was just like a book that was crap both on the inside and the outside (she works at Borders you see, hence the book analogy). The dispute was between me and SK and it was none of her business; but I actually did admire in some warped way the fact that she was doing it because she cared for her friend. I decided to try and get her to discuss it over the phone calmly and rationally so I could explain what happened between me and her friend but she didn't wanna.

So I could have ended it at that but the problem is a few months back I got her to buy for me a CD from Borders as she had a staff discount. And I still needed to get it from her. So we agreed to meet once she's free to pass it to me and then go our separate ways.

Well yesterday I checked my phone and I got this SMS from PB asking me "what the fuck was wrong" with me and why I was sending all those empty messages to her, and asked me to leave me alone because because she didn't have time for any of my bullshit and that she would tell me when she's free so she can pass me the CD.

Of course I was bewildered to say the least, didn't know what she was talking about so I checked my sent folder and yes there were 8 empty messages sent to her. Damm talk about crappy luck, I forgot to keylock my phone and it chose her of all people to sent spam messages to. So I replied and apologized, telling her it was an accident but she didn't need to be a bitch about it. Bad move. Got another 2 super mean SMSes from her, I shall not reveal the contents because I might just break down, they were really mean ok.

I am actually a little afraid of this woman right now. I shudder to think what she would have done if I had the tiff with HER rather than her friend.

Add to that my two favorite hangouts (Borders and HMV) are now under threat - don't think I can ever go to those places without this sense of fear that at any moment a book or a CD will come flying towards my head. I still need to get the CD from her, I am already contemplating where to meet her. It has to be a place far away from restaurants or cafes in case she tries to splash me with water or worse attack me with a piece of broken glass. But I learnt a valuable lesson from this - never go out with chicks below 21. Unless they are really hot.

The Winner Takes It All

Went to watch Mamma Mia yesterday with N. I was a little nervous cos it was the first time we were actually going out, although I met her a couple of times before. Anyway ended having a pretty good time. The songs were pretty great, I grew up on ABBA and it was a nice throwback to those times. However, the story itself wasn't really that engaging and the acting seemed to be way to over the top at times. K this is my first musical so maybe this is how musicals are supposed to be but yeah it was a little annoying at times. But all in all I enjoyed it thanks to the songs and the lead actress had a really great voice as well. But you could cut the sexual tension between me and N with a knife I tell ya. Well they don't call me the Stallion for nothing you know.

p.s Alright fine there was no sexual tension at all. In fact I have had more sexual tension between me and my dogs. Maybe it was my "black pride" t-shirt.....I don't know. Sometimes I just don't know what turns chicks on. Sigh.

Friday, October 15, 2004

I need to rant

Today I am gonna talk about annoying stuff that teenagers do (as well as some adults) because they think it is cool.

First, mispelling or using wrong grammar is NOT cool. It's pretty common for kids nowdays to use words like "biatch". Why can't you just use the word bitch? I mean its not even a short form of the actual word, if it was I could understand it's usage. Its like as if they are thinking "hey look I mispelled the word ain't that cool! Nothing is cooler than mispelling words cos that shows people how much of a rebel I am by not following standard spelling norms!".

Then there are people who say stuff like "I is" and "You is". Talk about annoying. Apparently this is copied from that guy of Indian descent in UK, can't remember his name, it's the guy whose jokes mainly revolve around women and their genitals..oh ya it's Ali G. Again why the hell is it cool to speak like that I don't understand. Or am I just too old and cranky to be cool?

I once called a friend at home and a girl picked up the phone and said something like "Mishi Mishi". I was confused at first then decided I probably dialed the house of a Japanese expat by mistake, so I apologized for dialling the wrong number and called again. But again that Japanese chick answered the phone. When I asked to speak to my friend she immediately called her brother in English. I then found out later that there is/was this trend where local chicks would greet people over the phone in Japanese. Again if you wanna do it to your friends go right ahead and knock yourself out, they probably have the same sense of coolness as you. But why do it to people you don't even know and annoy the crap out of them? I am gonna tell the next gal who does it to me that I wanna mishi mishi all over her ass. K this happened a couple of years ago so it's probably out of fashion now. Hmm not sure why I even brought it up.

Alright maybe this post is me ranting cos I was never part of the cool crowd back in school. Ok so me wearing 2nd Chance pants passed down from my dad (thanks dad) while every other kid wore jeans didn't really help my cause. But damm you all alright, I was cool in my own little, barely noticeable way. At least my mom thought I was and that's all that matters to me!

Was reading a couple of blogs and noticed that there are some really lame lines used by guys on chicks nowdays. Unfortunately that's one of the problems with the internet - it lets guys act like complete morons without the fear of embarassment. There was this one guy on Smitha's blog who told her that "You look so beautiful, really beautiful. Lots of guys must want to be with you." Dude that line might have worked on your sis but it ain't that easy outside your immediate family.

arrrgh women!!!!

God they frustrate me to no end sometimes. Sometimes I ALMOST wish I was gay.
*Resists urge to start ranting*

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Top Secret Project

I got roped into a top secret project recently because I was thought to have the necessary skills to help out in it. Sigh wonder who gave them the idea, I hate it when I am forced to do actual work, feigning doing work for the last few weeks was so nice.

Anyway by some miracle I manage to make some headway. So decided to send out an email to a fellow colleague who was also involved in the project as well to update him. Here is the email, I beeped out all the classified stuff:

Subject : Update to top secret project

Hello Number 1,

This is Number 2. (i using codename cos this project top secret mah)
I have finally got our top secret applications working, both *beep* and
Will write a simple but totally top secret tutorial on how to run the
apps for yourself tommorow and send it to you first thing in the morning.
The top secret results of both *beep* and *beep* can be found in the
directory named "TOPSECRET" in my home directory if you wanna take a look.

Good luck,
Number 2

Who says we IT people don't have a sense of humor?

Sunday, October 10, 2004

Bizarre Incident at HMV

Was with a friend at HMV earlier today when this totally bizarre incident happened. I was near the magazine section reading Time magazine and catching up on my current affairs and stuff when all of a sudden this huge scary guy (with piercings all over his face and tattoos) came running out of the staff room, which was adjacent to the magazine section.

Almost immediately 3 HMV staff came out of the room behind me and pinned the big guy to the ground. I was pretty stunned - at first I thought it was some kind of birthday sabotage thingy but that theory went out the window when the big guy gave one of the staff an elbow. I promptly moved a safe distance from the scuffle and watched as the 3 of them struggled to contain him, which they finally did. Then they hauled him back to the staff room. It was quite a traumatic experience for me, that guy could have probably hurt me really badly if he had gotten free - damm I should have asked for a few CD vouchers as compensation or something.

I am guessing that the guy probably tried to steal CDs or something and got caught, and while waiting for the police to arrive he panicked and tried to escape. Moral of the story here is big guys with piercings and tattoos should always be treated as dangerous CD stealing criminals and treated with extreme caution.

Alright fine I exaggerated a little. I was reading FHM, not Time.

p.s. You can read the friend's account of the incident as well.

Friday night and the lights are low ....

Will be going to watch Mamma Mia! this Saturday. Took me a while but manage to trick...oops I mean convince a friend to go with me, it took some pleading and whining from me to get her to go. It's gonna be my first time going to a musical or play so I am pretty excited about it, and I used to love ABBA as well. Gonna dig out my ABBA Gold CD and start listening to it again to prepare myself.

Called my pal in Florida yesterday to wish him a belated birthday, it was on the 29th of September, I completely forgot. And what made it worse was he called me on my mine. Anyway better late than never, and we did get to catch up on what each other were doing. Actually we were mostly bitching about the chicks we got into trouble with recently. Hmm I seem to be doing a lot of bitching lately. Not a good sign. Anyway I probably am gonna go down there in March or April to hang out. Not sure if I can get anyone else to go with me but we will see. To the land of the free ! Unless you are from Iraq then not so free.

Speaking of freedom, there's a lot of great new movies out right now I wanna catch. Ok I know freedom has nothing to do with movies but someone told me I should link my paragraphs to make it more cohesive. Anyway there is the motorcycle diaries about that famous revolutionary Che who you always see on T-shirts and stuff, and there's that new movie Sky Captain starring Jude Law who is like my one of my favorite actors since I saw him in GATTACA. Old Boy is a Jap flick that was praised by Quentin during the Cannes festival and finally Jackie Chan has a new Chinese movie out that I wanna see, his Hollywood stuff was getting pretty lame.

Saturday, October 09, 2004

Avoidant and Dependent


-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

Apparently I am avoidant and dependent. Seriously this is bullshit. There is nothing wrong with a 26 year old guy having a close relationship with his mommy alright, that doesn't mean I'm dependent on her!! Why are people so quick to judge? I told her about the result of this quiz and she agrees it's bullshit as well so there ya go.

Thursday, October 07, 2004

Dinner conversation

Went to dinner with a gal to Al Forno, a really nice Italian restaurant along east coast road. So we were enjoying the ambience, music and that led to a very interesting conversation. But unfortunately....

Her: You know for some reason all the guys I been involved with have names started with "A".
Me : Oh i see. By the way have I ever told you that my indian name is Ambushamugam?
*long uncomfortable silence follows*

Hey it was worth a shot.

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

You ain't my dad.

Posted by Hello

That's a guy only a son could love. Fortunately I ain't him.

I am not your son, drunk

Bizarre incident at lunch a couple of hours ago. I was having lunch at a coffeeshop nearby when suddenly this drunk (at 3 pm in the afternoon) old indian guy sitting a couple of tables away starts pointing to me and shouting out loudly to everyone that I was his son. And of course everyone in the coffeeshop starts looking at me, probably wondering if it was true. And it did not help matters when the clown ordered another plate of roasted chicken rice for me eventhough I refused to talk to him, but I left quickly after I finished my lunch before it arrived. Took a picture of the guy with my handphone will post it once I get back home. My bad luck continues.

Happiest guy in the company

A colleague told me yesterday that it seems to him like I am the happiest guy in our company. God I couldn't stop laughing I tell ya. I guess I hide my true emotions really well. Or maybe it's how I always make a joke out of all my troubles so it gives people that I am a very carefree person. Oh well I have always found that people find it hard to figure me out.

Spent around 2 hours bitching like a ...err...bitch to a friend over lunch. Going through a little bit of a bad patch at work and in life right now and just needed someone to listen. And fortunately for me she's almost always there when I need that someone.

Saturday, October 02, 2004

Entry of the Week

Alright starting from this week I am going to highlight my favourite blog or entry for the past week. Our first winner of the Stallion Best Weekly Entry Award comes from Diana, with her inspirational entry about how she saved a gal from the clutches of a raving lunatic at the train station. Go check it out.

I am hung over

Major hangover now. Had a hell of a time at my cousin's party. She had it at some irish pub in the katong area (her boyfriend is Irish) and it was basically free flow of alcohol. I can't remember exactly but I probably had around 5 or 6 pints of Heineken there on an empty stomach.

We headed down to Zouk after that where we had more drinks. I didn't really like the music, it was some high tempo techno shit(give me hip hop anytime) but was by then too high to really care so basically danced like a rabid dog till I tired myself out, which didn't take too long. Cousin got so wasted that she fell and brought down the whole table (and the drinks on it) crashing down with her, thankfully she wasn't seriously hurt but it was pretty funny. Unfortunately there was a silly squabble at the end that threatened to sour the mood; it really sucks when people can't hold their liquor and then they proceed to piss everybody off. But yeah thankfully it only lasted like 1/2 hour. All in all I really enjoyed myself, haven't had this much alcoholic-induced fun in a really long time.

Friday, October 01, 2004

Show yourselves my silent fans

Yup being the uncreative blog whore that I am, I shall steal Diana's great idea and ask for the silent readers of this blog to show themselves. Yep if you have been reading but not commenting just leave a comment and let me know who you are and where ya from and how you gotta know my blog. Yes even you hecklers, like that unoriginal guy who calls himself the "Real Indian Stallion". But then again don't think I have as many readers as Diana so there is a real possibility of no one commenting. Hope that doesn't happen.

Slimming Ad on TV

I can't stand this slimming ad from this new company called "Quick and Easy Slimming". In the ad there's this 2 women who were horizontally challenged but thanks to the company have been quickly and easily slimmed. One of the gals in the ad mentions that her boyfriend used to comment that she looked like a bouncer, and then she lost 14 kg! Yep you go girl, now let your boyfriend screw you like crazy to thank him for lowering your self-esteem with insensitive insults, otherwise you would have never gone to the slimming centre.

They really should have some sort of control on ads that blatantly prey on people's insecurities. I mean what's next? Oh wait I know. Have a ad with this gal with huge boobs and make her reveal how her boyfriend kept complaining how small her boobs were before and refused to touch them. But thanks to the surgeon/hospital she now has huge boobs that her boyfriend can't stop fondling.

Thursday, September 30, 2004

To Unperfect

Remove "bgcolor=navyblue" from your html code and your page will be viewable with netscape/mozilla/firefox. Yep it was bugging me so I went through the code and found out the problem.

p.s. You should really leave a point of contact on your blog.

Me and my big mouth

I got a call yesterday from my cousin whom I met at a party a couple months back. We haven't seen each other in years before that party.

Her: Hey I am having a birthday party on Friday evening. You free to come?
Me: Sure I would love to. By the way anything you want me to buy for your birthday. I prefer to get people things that they want rather than getting something they will just chuck away in the closet.
Her : Hmmm ok....Well ,,,,there's this thing...nah nevermind.
Me: Oh what is it? Tell me!
Her : Well I been wanting an MP3 player...
Me : Oh....ok....hmmm....
Her : Nah it's ok forget it.
Me : I will pretend as if I never heard it. See ya on Friday alright!

Think I will just get her one of those gift sets from Bodyshop.
Hey I don't even have an mp3 player myself alright!