Saturday, November 22, 2003

OK my hiatus from online chatting was short-lived. What to do, when you are at home on a weekend there is only so much porn you can watch before you get bored. So what was the reason for the hiatus you might ask. Well lately I been sorely disappointed by a couple of my so-called "friends". And with the really crappy situation that I am in right now I seriously cannot afford to have any more disappointments. Which was also the reason why I was questioning who my real friends are two posts ago. I think I came to a conclusion today. Friends are friends more for what they do for you rather than what they say to you. Of course words mean a lot as well, but sometimes they aren't enough on their own. Someone can say that they consider me a friend and they actually cared for me, but it would mean a lot more to me if they showed it. And the problem is you can't do that online. And its very easy to type comforting words even if you don't mean them, cos there is no way the other party can tell if you are sincere or not. And I will admit that even I have been guilty of that.

It's getting worse for me now. I am someone who is chatty by nature, and the problem is now I have no choice but to keep silent. I feel like a bird in a really really small cage who doesn't even have space to extend his wings. This feeling is something I never felt b4, and its not something I wanna feel again if had a choice. But unfortunately I am going to, and probably really soon. I am not blogging about this cos I am looking for sympathy. I am blogging about this because I need to.
Ok the bird analogy was a little silly.

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