Saturday, October 26, 2002

Ben just told me he got a new girlfriend, and its obvious how happy he is right now. I'm really happy for him but have to admit I'm a bit envious. Not because I dun have a girlfriend, but because i haven't felt happy in a really long time. The last time i can remember feeling that way was when I was with her. I really miss that feeling.

In the last week i broke down and cried twice, and the worst thing is I dun even know why i did. Am i losing my mind? Maybe its because of her, maybe its because im no closer to getting a job now then when i first started looking and i dun know why that is. I have no idea. But I've been feeling this sense of hopelessness that I just can't shake off. I just dun know whats my purpose in life anymore.

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