Thursday, October 27, 2016

Happy Ever Laughter - Review

I have always been a fan of standup, but I have to admit I haven't gone to that many local ones since I don't really have many friends who like them. I have spent quite a lot of time on youtube watch people like Jimmy Carr,  Louis CK , but my favorite are the Celebrity Roasts where comedians go at each other with some of the most mean and jaw dropping insults. So I was looking forward to watching our local comedians do their thing as well , each one had around 10 mins for their part. Unfortunately the show did not live up to its title.

Firstly the good. Rishi and Kumar were easily the best of the bunch. I preferred Rishi's set because his humor was a bit sharper, he poked fun at the absurdity of MDA's attempts at censorship when the comedians were looking to perform on live TV.  ("MDA chief - We had an internal meeting on "ku ku chao" and we can allow it.") . Kumar did rely on his usual sexual jokes (this time it revolved around how nurses should wear sexy outfits and he came out in such a uniform to hammer the point) but they were still funny. But it felt really short , and ended very abruptly.

The next best performer was a surprise, it was Suhaimi Yusof. I seen him on local TV in the past and I never liked him because he always over-acts and it was annoying,  However, he was surprisingly quite comfortable and laid back on stage and he had this aura of a pakcik telling stories that made him really likeable and relatable. He had some very clever word gags  ("I was a master-debater in school and my mentor was Pa Chu Cheng") that were quite hilarious. And he demonstrated his voice-over ability by imitating Darth Vader, Optimus Prime and Megatron amazingly well.

Fakkah and Dosh were decent, their jokes were mainly around race . Dosh had a few about being mistaken for a Malay that were quite funny. Pretty ok overall. Sharul was ok but not as memorable as the last time I saw her, ditto for Hossan Leong, im struggling to remember any of their jokes now though.

K now the bad. And these were really bad.  The best of the lot , and I am using the word "best" very loosely was Sebastian Tan aka the Broadway Beng. First of all , he was talking way too much in Teochew/Hokkien(?) to the point that I felt I was at the wrong show. Secondly, he just wasn't funny, and worst of all he ended with this pointless medley where the entire joke was him replacing words in famous songs with "gout" which he had recently contracted. I don't know why that's funny.

Fairing slightly worse was Judee Tan. She was playing this linguistically challenged TCM practitioner and was doing this really annoying voice that was incredibly grating and also made it hard to make out what she was saying sometimes.

The worst performance of the night was a toss up between Patricia Mok and Siti K.  Patricia Mok , like Suhaimi was doing her first ever stand-up, but that is the only similarity between them . She was painfully unfunny, with very poor timing and seems to lack an understanding of how punchlines work or even what they are. Siti K had this really horrible idea where she pretended she was an ex-model and was hosting a talk show called Secrets Shhh or something like that.  It was as awkward as it sounds.

So all in all, there were 3 decent ones, 3 ok ones, and 4 really awful ones. I think Patricia is not ready for stand up and it was a mistake to put her up there, she seems woefully out of her depth.  Siti K according to my friend is hilarious in the other plays she seen her in, so maybe she went with the wrong concept. For Judee and Sebastian Tan, i am not a fan of character type of stand ups, because it gets very limiting after a while. All in all , its hard to justify paying 80 over dollars for this kind of caliber, think I might stick to YouTube or those stand up nights at bars.

Monday, March 07, 2016

Not cut out for charity

Conversation I had a week ago.

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Friend: Hi, I am helping out in this charity where they are cooking food and delivering them to the underprivileged. Would you like to help out ?

Me: Sure , why not, sounds like a good cause.  When and where?

Friend: The date is still to be confirmed but you will have to report at around 5 am.  I will let you know soon.

Me: 5 am??  Why poor people eat so early?? 

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Yes, I know, I know, I am going to hell.  I don’t think I will hear back from her.  

Monday, February 22, 2016

Hi everyone,

 I've decided to do something that will end my life. I have been thinking about it for a while now as I know it has to be done. Yes, I am committing suicide. I know you may have questions for me and I will answer them real soon, just send them real fast because it will be hard for me to answer once I am dead. Meanwhile, be happy for me, cos my life sucks so I can’t wait for the sweet relief of death.

K just kidding of course. I just wanted to use my reach to let you guys, the people I care about most, know how important it is to get insurance. The nice thing about NTUC insurance is that if you ever contemplate committing suicide in the future, rest assured that they will still payout your death benefit , as long as it is after 1 year from the date of signing the policy!*# So please sign up with them now so that you can have the peace of mind that even if you jump off a building one year from now, your loved ones will be fully taken care of. Use my promo code SUICIDENOTSOSUCKYWITHNTUC and get 10% off now!

*#Terms and conditions apply.

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

People keep wondering why I don't keep my Note 2 in my pocket. It's kinda obvious, I only got room for 1 over-sized thing in my pants.

Monday, September 15, 2014

Grateful Challenge Day 6

So I decided to continue this because honestly can we ever stop being grateful for what we have?

Gratitude No. 1

I am grateful for the recent leaked celebrities pictures scandal (aka The Fappening) and the recent gmail password hack. These events have served to remind me of the need to always keep my password secure. Even my favourite person in the whole world (after Jesus) Kate Upton was not spared. I reached out to her through email and told her that I felt her pain and was there for her if she ever wanted to talk, and I am sure she looks great in those pictures which I didn’t view because of my respect for her. Alas she did not reply. I like almost everyone else, has numerous compromising photos of myself on iCloud which I always thought were completely secure and private. I also learned that myb1gsta11ionpen1s is not a secure password.

Gratitude No. 2

So my birthday passed rather uneventfully last Saturday. I have to say I was more than a bit disappointed that the total sum of the gifts I received was well below 500. In my despair I cried out to God asking why was this happening to me. Usually I speak to God through King Kong but he was going through his own issues so I did not want to burden him further with my troubles, no matter how great they were. Amazingly God replied!! I think cos it was my birthday, but who am I to question the reason. And he was like take a chill pill Gilbert, I am truly sorry your birthday turned out to not what you expected, but maybe you need to look within yourself as to the reason for that.

And so I did and I realized he was right (is God ever wrong?) .I realized I had been presumptuous and completely unfair to my friends. I had posted my wish on my Facebook wall and simply assumed they all would have read it like they do every other post of mine. But now it was clear that many did not! So I am grateful for the fact that I managed to realize this with a little help from the J man. I will be emailing everyone my post from earlier so that can send me the appropriately priced gifts. Nice thing is that for Tamils , we celebrate our birthday up to a month after the actual date so it’s actually ok to send belated gifts. But to those of you who read and did not bother, you are DEAD to me.

An honorable mention to those who threw the nice bbq for me , although I was forced to share it with another friend who shared the same birth date as me. I wasn't too happy about it cos he was kind of stealing half my thunder ( I even had to co-blow the cake), but i decided to let it slide because that's who I am.

Gratitude No. 3

I am grateful for the security guard at the VFS India Visa Center who told me to put away my phone even after I pointed out the no phone rule seemed to be ONLY for talking on the phone according to the sign. Even though I did not understand how looking at my phone screen could affect anyone in their office, it had the effect of letting me sit there in quiet contemplation for the next hour while I waited for my turn. For that I am grateful. II can’t remember the last time I had the chance to listen to the continuous crying of a baby or the angry shouts of the man who apparently had a photo that wasn’t acceptable after waiting for an hour and a half as he complained as to why they could not have showed samples of unacceptable photos on their website , a rather legitimate complaint.

When it come to my turn , I was told I needed a letter from the company in Singapore (I didn’t) as well as a letter from the company in India (I did). I apologised and asked if I could fax over the other letter on Monday but they said no , that I had to come in and queue again to resubmit my application. And this is where I am now typing this. So I am grateful for that either I wouldn’t have the free time to type this while I wait for another hour. Thanks!