Piranha : Fav movie of 2011

Piranha is my favorite movie of 2011.

That was not a typo. You will not see this movie on (m)any critic's lists, but that's because everyone of them missed the brilliant subtext of this movie. At its very core is actually a cautionary tale that explores religious issues that are very relevant in this day and age. Spoilers ahead so read at your own peril.

The movie starts off with an old man fishing in a quiet lake. He drinks from what appears to be an alcohol bottle and then throws it into the lake. By his callous action he completely disregard the beauty of god's creations around him despite reaping the fruits of them (his fishes). Immediately he is punished by an earthquake that causes the lake to become a whirlpool which sucks him into the very depths of hell. Praise to the lord.

Next the scene changes to what appears to be a spring break party at the other end of the lake, which near topless women shamelessly flaunting the temples that is their bodies without any respect of themselves. They seem to be engaging in various activities that would make a harlot blush. A very creepy dude identifies himself as a porn director and manages to entice two teens unto his boat to shoot a movie as well as engage in questionable sexual practices like drinking alcohol off each others bodies. The movie continues with more scenes of disgusting immoral behavior from all the women. I was about to turn it off from disgust , but then the payoff came.

Immediately the fishes (or as I would like to call them God's messengers) arise from the depths of the lake and start to attack the men and women. They start off from the most sinful (the porn stars and the porn director) and work their way up to the ones at the spring break party. They attack ferociously and without mercy, inflicting God's wrath on the sinners. Blood is splattered everywhere , some of them even lose their limbs - the very limbs that allowed them to partake in such disgusting behavior before. Talk about poetic justice. They cry out for help, but their calls go unanswered. The lake is cleansed of sin with their blood.

A guy foolishly tries to help the sinners, going against God's will, and eventually he is eaten alive for doing so. The End.

I loved this movie because it is a cautionary tale to the youth of today who seem to be engaging in immoral activities without any thought for the consequence of their actions. If you feel the same way as me, you must watch this movie and share it with your kids so that they can learn from it as well. You owe it to them to do so.

Man Down

So I was at chilling out at an apartment with a bunch of friends watching a movie over the weekend when suddenly I heard a noise from the bathroom. One of my friends was taking a shower and I swear I heard him call my name. I immediately freaked out.

It might seem like not a big deal but there is really no situation I could think of where a guy friend has to call out another guy's name while he is in the shower. It was a muffled sentence so I couldn't really make out what he was saying but at that time I could only think of three possibilities.

1. He had something he really really wanted to show me.
2. He needed me to somehow help him scrub a part of his anatomy that he couldn't reach, how I did not venture to think further.
3. He was jerking off to the image of me and shouted my name in ecstasy.

I stood there frozen for a while but eventually his calls got louder and louder. Hesitantly , I moved to the toilet door to hear better, and instantly I wished I didn't . He was asking me to open the door. I said I didn't want to, that this was all a bit too strange for me but he begged me to. So I did, and realized his problem - the door was stuck, he couldn't get it open from inside. So I tried to open it , but then it wouldn't . I put all my force in it and it still didn't even make a difference. The lock was truly messed up. So we had to call the locksmith, whose number was conveniently plastered on the front door. He said he will be over in 30 minutes. BTW all this was happening at 2 am in the morning.

So there we were waiting, so I started trying to give some helpful suggestions. I told my friend maybe he could clean the toilet since he was already inside. Also we had paused the movie when this happened, so I told the rest that we could just continue watching the movie till the locksmith arrived but they were appalled I even suggested it which I didn't get. It was not like he was trapped in a cave and running out of air!! Frustrated and bored I went to the fridge and got myself a tub of ice cream. Yes I am a stress eater.

Finally the locksmith came. He looked at the lock and told us that he had to break it and it would cost 100 dollars. It was a tad on the expensive side, so I wanted to see if I can bargain it down to like 70 (I am indian after all) but then I just felt this anger emitting from the other side of the door so we agreed to it. The lock was jammed so the locksmith had to remove it, but he made it seem so effortless, I was actually watching him in awe. The way he prodded the grabbed the knob with one hand and just jamming the pointy end of his really long pointy tool with the other, it was quite impressive.

Finally it came free and my friend was saved. We thanked the locksmith, paid him his due and that was the end of it. We never did finish the movie.

Travel Info: How to get a pre-paid SIM Card in India

I was trying to find out info about this and somehow couldn't find any one site that spelled it out clearly, so I am doing this here. Roaming charges are freaking insane, so if you want to really save on that this is what you do:

Pre-Requisites :
1. Signed letter from your hotel confirming that you are staying there.
2. A passport-sized photograph
3. Details of a local contact in India (Address, Full Name and Contact No.)
4. Photocopies of your Indian Visa and your Passport (the page with all your details)

I only had the first one when I went to the Airtel centre as I didn't know any better. Ended up making 2 additional trips, one to get a copy of my passport and the other to find a photo studio.

That's it. I used Airtel since that was what the hotel recommended, got a cab to drive me to the nearest centre and got it done, you will get your SIM card immediately. It includes data plan as well. I paid around 750 Rupees in total for 650 MB of data and a minimal voice plan thrown in.

The SIM card I got is valid for a year without usage.

Alone I roam (around my room)

In Crowne Plaza Bengaluru all alone.
Far away from the place that I call home.
Came here for a presentation to a civil institution
Found out it was cancelled, where is my restitution?
Been 2 days in the hotel, nowhere to go to.
Roamed around my room , nothing much else to do.
Went to get a local SIM card, the entire process was hell.
Took me 2 hours, no more insane roaming charges thanks to Airtel.
Gonna try get an earlier flight back to Singapore to be with my homies
So I can watch with them Game of Thrones on Fri night , it ain't a party without me.
Calling SQ now , Bangalore office
Wish me luck, peace.

Swapping partners.

I met her a year ago. She was wearing this hot little outfit. It was lust at first sight. She wasn't curvy, although that is usually what I look at first when I meet them. But she had this very sharp look, like she was looking for guys who knew exactly what they wanted from her.

I walked up to her and grabbed her suddenly, my right hand around her midriff. She seemed cold to my touch, colder than I expected. I caressed her back with my fingers slowly. She did not exactly respond to my touch, but neither did she seem to dislike it. But I knew I would eventually bring her around. She felt like she was the ONE. It all felt so right.

We left the place together, my hand still around her. What came after that was what you could call a whirlwind courtship. Like all new relationships , it started off great. We both loved each other and we never out of each other's sight for long. She responded almost instantly to my every need, never complaining nor hesitating. On my end I did everything I could to protect her, I treated her like she was the most precious thing in my life, which she was. We shared memories, some funny , some poignant. We would sit together and browse through our pictures of our adventures together and laugh at the silly things we did and reminisce about the people we met and missed.

But sadly, that happiness didn't last. 6 months after we first met, things started becoming noticeably different. She started to throw tantrums for no apparent reasons at really unexpected times, but these spells were thankfully rare. Then they became much more common, almost daily affairs. It came to a point where I would look forward to the rare day where she behaved normally. She used to almost seem to know what I needed before I even asked her for something, but now it took a herculean effort to make her understand my simplest needs and wants. Maybe I took her for granted, and this was my punishment, I don't really know. At first I got upset and concerned, but then those feelings gradually gave way to anger. I did not deserve this. No one did.

I started to take it out on her in frustration. I was no longer as gentle with her as I used to be, there was no longer that desire to protect her. In fact, I started getting really rough with her. A few times she was left with a few bruises. One day I lost control , and I inflicted an ugly gash on her side. Of course I was horrified when I saw what I had done, but there was nothing I could to take it back. On hindsight, that was the point of no return for both of us, things would never go back to normal.

She withdrew further from me after that incident. She would just not respond to me no matter how much I tried. Finally today I threw in the towel. Life shouldn't be this hard, it was obvious we were both miserable. It had to end.

I went back to that place. There was someone else at that little corner where I first saw her. A sexy curvy little thing. I went up to her, and just like before I placed my right arm around her waist. It felt good. Maybe even better than what I felt the last time. I wanted her. I needed her.

I took her out from my pocket for one last look. She felt so unfriendly, so cold. I knew what I had to do, but I had to give it one last try. I touched her lightly again, exactly the way I did when we first met. No response. I pleaded for her to come back to me, to show any sign of life, to give me a reason to hold on. She just remained silent.

The lady behind the counter stared at me curiosuly at first before running out of patience and telling me to make up my mind, she had other customers to attend to.

Defeated I turned her around. No protest, not even a whimper. I removed her back and took out what was mine, what I had given to her a year ago. It was the only thing left of her that was of any use to me at all.

I left the shop with my new toy. She is really the one. We are going to be together for a much longer time. It just feels so right.